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Need to rant and possibly some advice?

3 replies

KJE3112 · 14/01/2022 17:33

So, I am feeling so overwhelmed ATM first of all if any single working parents are reading this, how do you do it? Im not single, but my partner works 5am-8pm Mon-Sat except for in the summer months when his hours drop down. We have a 5 year old daughter and a dog, and I work Mon-Fri 8-2.
I just feel like i cant do it all. I walk the dog twice a day, im up at 6 for that and my daughter comes with me. Then i leave for work at 7.30 dropping my daughter off at breakfast club on the way. Then when i finish at 2, i race home to let the dog out before the school run at 3.00. Then in the afternoons i still have dinner to cook, housework including the washing and all of the cleaning, my partner doesnt do any of the house work as hes never here except a sunday. I have to help with homework and make lunches and everything else including keeping a 5 year old entertained and happy. Sometimes the dog goes for another walk after school, sometimes i wait and take her out at 8.30 so as not to tire my daughter out too much.
Its all really getting to me because i would really love to have another baby, i feel like a mum is who im meant to be, but how can i have another one when i cant manage the ones i have?
I get no free time, even sat here writing this i have a list of things i should be doing.
Am i not managing my time properly? I feel like Im doing something if not all of it wrong, or am i just not meant for this?
I think im depressed, im so sad, and to add to things, i not long ago suffered a molar pregnancy, maybe it happened for a reason, but i wanted that baby so much. So much.
Maybe it did happen for a reason, maybe its the world telling me i cant do it. That i shouldnt.
Work doesnt help, they expect me to do meetings and training and all sorts of other things outside of my work hours and i just, im exhausted.
Im so tired, of everything, and i dont understand how i cant manage the things that i want. Because i want them, and other people have them and they do just fine, so why cant i?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
UltraVividLament · 14/01/2022 17:40

Your partner is around in the evenings from 8pm, is that right? Surely he can be doing some of the things like washing, cleaning, prepping lunches etc?? Same at the weekend. Or taking the dog out in the evening for a walk.

If your partner refusing to do any of the adult work around the home, then I'd suggest looking at rehoming the dog as that's one obvious thing that would give you much more time in the day. Clearly that's probably not something you're going to want to do.

Could your DD go to an after school club for a couple of days a week?

Fallagain · 14/01/2022 19:57

I felt tired reading that. Does your partner need to work all those hours? Can you get a dog walker and/or cleaner?

ESH3334 · 15/01/2022 00:16

Please give yourself a break and be a little kinder to yourself.... I can assure almost every mum regardless of their situation has felt the way you do right now. You have had a really hard time and it sounds like your putting alot of pressure on yourself - we are our own worst critics!
The fact that you care so much and your worrying so much tells me youre a good mum who wants to get it right! Thing is none of us are perfect...
If you feel you may be depressed talk to someone - your partner a family member or friend it helps so much.
I always feel like I am drowning and I definitely don't get much of it right, but I have discovered that to maintain a reasonable level of sanity I just have to accept that I can't do everything and let some things slide...
Be kind to yourself Smile

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