How much should you be on to afford private education for two children?

[gemloving]

How much money do you earn to put two children through private education?

We're on 150k combined and I know it's quite low to put 2 children through private education but has anyone made it work? Would my children be the "poor" kids at the school? We need to apply for schools for my eldest this year as he will start in September 2023.
My youngest is only 8 months. I don't want to rely on it but am quite sure I'll get promoted in 2023/2024 which would add around 20k (pre tax).

We only have our mortgage and no other debts.

It might be nicer for the kids to go to a state school but then we can afford nice holidays etc. One of my friends suggested a church school but I don't like the idea of going to church for the sole purpose of getting my child into a certain school. It doesn't seem right.

@DisneyGirl2387

I don't mean to be rude or offend anyone but can I ask what proffessions you are in to be earning such large salaries? Me and my DH work hard but we are only on approx £60k (part time teacher and music team leader). Feel like I've made a wrong choice career wise! Apologies if my message comes across as nosy but I'm intrigued!

I mentor small Businesses as my main job (£35k pa part time)and do candidate assessment for my freelance work (about £300 per day) DH is an IT Consultant so “earns” about £150k per year in theory but as he is SE he takes around £80k and we leave the rest in the business. I don’t think you have made the wrong career choice if it’s what you wanted to do, it’s just about having specialist skills that people will pay a lot for. Unfortunately doing a job that is actually worthwhile and contributes to society doesn’t mean you will be very well paid in too many cases.

@DisneyGirl2387 more like 3.5 years ago than 4 years ago tbh... But jobs in our field are mainly in London...Someone on mumsnet said that a professional in early 30s in London should be on 6 figures. We definitely aren't but yes there is a lot of inequality in wages even in London...

@DisneyGirl2387 were both accountants and each earn about £70k. Both of us started these jobs straight from uni and worked up to the mid management levels we are now.

If you have good local primaries then do state to 11, followed by private.

If you’re in a grammar area then either do prep followed by grammar, or even (save yourself a fortune) good primary with out of school 11+ tutoring (state primaries can’t teach those test skills) and then grammar.

If I had the money I’d do option A, but us teachers were priced out of the independent school market a long time ago!

It depends on your other outgoings tbh. And which school you send them to. There are always discounts for siblings and scholarships, and possible bursaries.

Our sons went locally because where we lived at the time had a brilliant village school, and the local schools were also good. However, our daughter has gone private since year one. My husband's wage alone has paid for this, and once she was at senior school, she won a 25% discount for a music scholarship. She is Year 10 now.

Having said that, we don't have a mortgage , the house is ours, and we don't have flashy cars etc. If we had to pay a hefty mortgage then we wouldn't be able to afford school fees as well.

Personally I would save for secondary school
now and choose the best local state primary you can with a good after school club. Supplement with tutoring in later primary years.

Some macro economist are predicting high inflation and interest rate rises. Energy prices are going through the roof. So you would really need to stress test. If there is lots of inflation, school fees will rise even more than normal and your mortgage could go up significantly.

However, if you are a full time lawyer with good partnership prospects and significant future earning potential into the hundreds of thousands that would be another matter, of course. There I could see the argument of getting them into the private sector and staying there from the start. I have friends in this category and they liked the fact that loads of after school sports etc were done at school itself. But the longer holidays in the private school system can add up too in holiday childcare costs (can be 4 weeks or more extra holidays).

I teach at an independent school. There are plenty of families here earning standard middle class salaries (maybe combined income of 80k?) Obviously I don't know their exact financial circumstances (!) but what I mean is that a lot of our kids are not "money is no object" wealthy.

Heads up- the extras are astronomical. The sheer amount of kit they need is mind boggling, and of course everything is specific, branded kit, no generic blue airtex from asda!!

Totally depends where you live.
If we had 8k a month as 2x75k salaries, 2kids through private school at 1k a month primary, 1.5k in secondary (just looked up our best local private fees), would still leave 5k to live on.
I can imagine further south mortgage and school fees would both be higher.

I put all four of my children through private school on Bursery’s. Obviously on your income you probably wouldn’t qualify but I just wanted to add that there was never an issue with being the poorest in the school. One of my boys went to a prestigious boys school and he fitted in fine. We were never once made to feel like we didn’t belong and others kids came to our house and on days out with us, all fitted in great and I made some great friends as did my kids.

Ps. I was earning around £30,000 a year at the time as a single parent.

Jesus THIS again.

OP if YOU do the figures and see you can afford it - you can afford it. You are asking people from all over the country who have massive massive disparities between each other. In the north west you can easily pay for two kids in private school - maybe not in London.

No on on this site knows where your money goes or how you spend it or if you budget properly.

Cue the posts about

Being the 'poor kids'
Private school is a waste of money
Invest your money in a new house
Invest your money extra curricular hobbies
Primary is a waste of time
Private school is shitter than state
Some one went to private school and hated it
Everyone driving bangers
Everyone driving Bentleys

I have nothing to add other than I find it hilarious that someone would think that somehow (hand of God maybe?) state church schools are better than non church state schools. I can assure you this is not my experience at all.

@Chasingtime its not just north vs south, its also how much the mortgage is. I just looked up the cost of a £1.2 million house (4 bed semi-detached in north london), it cost £615k in 2010. It is quite possible that someone with 2 young DC could have purchased property 12 years ago; some parents with young DC in my area look closer to 40 and I have seen them taking the tube with their young DC to prep school further up the northern line.. That would be a much smaller mortgage and then yes it is more easy to afford private school on that. Very different from someone who actually bought at 2019 prices which would be £1 million and that would be a very very big mortgage so state school for the 2 kids would be a natural option.

We were on a similar salary with school age DC and moved house instead to an area with good state schools. We didn’t want to give up our holidays and also loved to have family days and eat out each weekend. I paid for all the clubs/interests my DC wanted. I tried tutoring but that a one week wonder/disaster situation so we scrapped that.
My DC went to good unis and now have careers they enjoy.

www.schoolsmith.co.uk/church-schools/
Church schools can be selective in the same way small state primary schools with a catchment of just a few nice expensive streets can be.

We have done it comfortably for DS. Combined income was about 70k but DH has been SAHD for the last 3 yrs. our mortgage is £350. We chose education over a large house.
We are the church mice at school financially but DS has high status due to me being a healthcare professional, there are several layers of status at school. Top - parents are traditional professionals second level - old money third level -new money.
I didn’t realise how it all worked until one of the mums, a consultant paediatrician was giving me her phone number in front of a builders wife who despite organising tickets for Wimbledon wasn’t “allowed”.
The three groups tend not to socialise together too much and each group looks down their nose at the other groups. I’m a friendly soul who was too old when DS started school to bother joining a social group, so tend to be a bit of a floater at the school gate.
Once in school the children make their own groups, despite much interference from ambitious parents. DS is now 17 and happily ensconced with the sporty boys who value only your ability to tackle in rugby and drink large amounts of beer. Pretty much the same as when I was at school 40yrs ago.
Sorry for the post but so many parents value lifestyle over education.
Private education gives them the same opportunities academically but it’s the enrichment activities that are the real value. Most of the things people spend their free time and money on out of school are provided by the school if the child wants. For DS it’s the after school sports, fully equipped gym, swimming pool and a sense of community that are important. And for us it has been full curriculum and online teaching throughout Covid so that despite him disengaging totally last year in the lead up to GCSEs he still came out of it with As & A*s in 10 subjects. School were able to provide 3 sets of results from formal tests (mocks) taken each term in anticipation of the evidence they would be required to submit.
If you want lifestyle forget private schools.

@Incognito22333 I always wondered why. The school I am thinking of sending my future child to (not christian but a religious school/i belong to that religion) has only 0.2% of children eligible for free school meals. The local area is solidly middle class but that proportion sounds very very low esp for london suburbs! And attending religious services (that school can only admit based on attendance on religious services and not any other factors) doesn't cost anything and so theoretically should be accessible to the poor.

My DH thinks that some churches may not be friendly places for BAME people (again i have no idea as we aren't Christian). Or perhaps poorer people are more likely to have shift work so may not be able to make Sunday service unlike people in office jobs. My religion is probably the most expensive to follow (but then again for most of the mainstream schools, you don't actually need to follow everything, just attend services....).

Against the grain here..... 2 kids, 6 years apart, private primary and private secondary to 18 for both. One income averaging £120k. Large mortgage in Surrey. No help or inheritance or anything from anyone else.

Most of my friends also in similar brackets. Some had three, or four (!), in private education. Eminently doable.

I went to private school and no one earned anything like the amounts mumsnet seems to suggest. Most peoples parents were doctors, lawyers, lecturers/teachers, civil servants etc. yes things are more expensive now but you'll not be frowned on for 'only' earning £250k

In my opinion private primary is an utter waste of
money. I would only consider it if my local school was really truly awful.

At primary level you can invest in after school activities, go on educational trips etc which all benefit the child.

@CrimbleCrumble1 Completely agree with your approach. The idea that a private primary is necessary baffles me

@merrygoround51 my friend who is a teacher sent her child to private primary cos it has better wrap around care than the local state school. GPs are paying. She wouldn't be sending to private secondary..

We have a pretty decent combined income but choose lifestyle. DD isn't traditionally "academic" and would hate the local private schools, mostly single sex very elitist and non diverse. Her friends who are at them have been tutored to within an inch of their life to get in, they're bright but not brilliant and they're not enjoying school.

DS is in the gifted and talented stream at a good local state secondary. His close friends from primary are at the local private boys school. He's doing just as well or better than them (he's cleverer). It depends on your priorities I suppose. Out of my whole family I went to the "worst" school on paper but have the best results at GCSE/a level. They might have an amazing Hogwarts like experience at an exclusive private school but no experiences out of it because their family can't afford it. Not a life for us.

We're on same income as you OP and can only afford private school because we have a very low mortgage (£18k)

We only have one at private as the other is at state grammar. We could afford two at private if needed but our lifestyle would be adjusted to pay for it. Holidays would take the hit and any home improvements would be put on hold until they left school.

We sent them both to state primary as there was no benefit to going private where we live as the schools are outstanding.

@AngelsWithSilverWings I am thinking 18k per annum isn't a terribly low mortgage unless its on a £1 million house (so £1500 per month). £18k for the whole mortgage would mean the house is basically paid off....am i missing something?

Or 18k is the balance left on the mortgage?