What is the maximum age gap for kids to enjoy playing together

[Em2122]

Have two close together, 18 month gap and they are starting to play together, so I feel the hard work was worth it.
I wanted 1 more but definitely couldn't have the age gap that small again.
Is there a gap when the play become more like the older child helping the younger one rather than playing together.
I was thinking 3/4 year gap may be the maximum but I am not sure.

I had 18 month gap, then 15 mth gap! Then a 2yr gap. To be honest, it's all about their personalities. My eldest and youngest are just totally in love with each other (5yr gap). The two girls with 15 mth gap can play well because of close age but personalities are sooooo different, so they fight as much as they play. The most beautiful relationship is definitely the 9 and 4 yr old boys.

You can't plan this stuff.

I agree that a lot is down to personality. There’s three years between mine and they still play really nicely together at 9 and 12 (most of the time ).

My almost 5yo loves playing with his baby sister. My nephew spends loads of time with his brother who is 7 years younger. I agree that it's down to personality. Obviously the bigger the age gap the less close they'll be growing up but nothing wrong with leaving it a few more years.

I have a huge age gap between my kids and it's been a really pleasant surprise! The older one popped to the shop for.me the other day and took his brother. They held hands the whole way there and back. 17 and 9!

With my DSC there is 2 years between each so the eldest is 4 years older than the youngest. As kids they played in any combination happily (they also argued/fought in any combination too!). My DD is 16 years younger than her eldest sibling and they play beautifully together too!

I had a sibling 3 years younger than me and we always played together. Then I had another 15 years younger and I loved playing with them too! It depends on whether the older sibling enjoys playing with younger children

I have a four year age gap. Sometimes it feels small enough (e.g. up until the eldest was about 8), other times it feels miles apart (e.g. 9 and 13). They are 11 and 15 now so past playing but still spend time together. On the whole it was a great age gap.

There's 4 years between my two sons (not through choice) and they played together well from eldest was about 6yo and youngest 2yo. It all went swimmingly until eldest was 12, then his younger brother just got on his nerves. It's sad, but quite natural with the move to secondary school and shift in interests. I'm hopeful they'll be close again when they're older, but not holding my breath!

3 years between mine and they always play together, it helps that my oldest doesn't get swept up with growing up too quick like some of his classmates.

My two are 3 years 3 days apart (almost 6 and almost 9) and they’re the best of friends

I get on best with my sibling that is 3 years apart from me. I found that siblings 12-18months apart fought more. But as adults get on well with siblings 6 and 7years younger too. Mine are 7, 4 and 1month. The older 2 are old enough not to be jealous, but also keen to help with and entertain baby. 7 and 4 year old play well and fight together.

I have a 9yo and a 14yo who always have (and still do!) loved playing together. I also have an 8yo and a 16yo so it’s not like there aren’t other options!

My girls are 5 and a half years apart and they’ve had periods where they’ve played together a lot. A bit less now as my eldest us nearly 13, but it still happens on occasion!

I really wouldn't stress about gaps too much...you just deal with what you get and the relationships will change over time anyway.

My older 2 are 13 and 11. 2 year gap, great friends for years, obviously used to play together a lot. However ds 1 is nearly 14 now and the two year gap suddenly seems huge as he is very adult and ds2 still very child like.

Ds3 is 4. Over the last year I'd say ds2 11 and ds3 often play beautifully together - ds2 will still get down on the floor and play cars, is happy to chase him round like a maniac etc! So their relationship is closer than the older two right now.

Even at ages 13, 11 and 4 though they will all still play together in the garden - skateboards, football, basketball. Ds3 has quickly learned the rules of the road if he wants to be included and the age gap seems non existstant when they're taking turns at penalties or shooting basketball hoops or having a water fight!

5 years between my eldest and youngest and they play together

I have 3 and a half years between mine and they have played together since the youngest learnt to play. Now 10 and 7 and still do...although alot of that is now on games they are always playing together.

I mean, I have a ten year gap between my eldest two and they play together!

But not all the time, which I suppose is what you mean, especially in terms of them entertaining each other. I didn't have anyone to do that for my eldest. My second is quite independent anyway and doesn't need me to do anything.

I would guess around 4. You'll have to factor school in as well.

6 years between mine and they get on brilliantly. The oldest one is very patient and laid back which definitely helps.

My older two are close in age and played together from very young (though the older one led the play - I'll always remember the phase where dc2 was still crawling and dc1 was 2.5; she "trained" him to be her pretend puppy - he used to crawl after his soft toy ball and pick it up in his mouth to bring back to her when she rolled it along the living room floor for him 😳). They were inseparable until the eldest was about 9.

When the eldest was about 9 though she drifted away from wanting to play with her little brother as much and was much more friends focused, which is all developmentally good I think.

Handily DC3 was then just old enough to be an interesting playmate for dc2 at last and he switched fairly seamlessly.

Until dc3 was 4 it was like having twins plus an only in a lot of ways (especially as dc1 was small and dc2 tall so they wore the same size clothes and shoes from age 3&5 to 7 and 9 and strangers always thought they were twins).

I definitely spent years keeping dc3 entertained so he wouldn't spoil the older one's game, and carrying him on my hip to activities the older ones wanted to do that he wasn't old enough to join in.

Its paid off now - dc2 and 3 have been invaluable companions to one another through the pandemic and spend hours every day together.

The gap between dc2 and 3 is 3.5 years and they're a teen and pre teen now and still really close.

It does depend on the children and what you define as playing together too - my 16 year old has a babysitting job after school where the job description was simply to play with the 7 year old - no other duties, parents working from home, 7 year old is an only. She tells me about what they've done and literally says "we played cars, then we went to the playground down the road and played on the roundabout" its very sweet and very amusing but then she is getting 30€ to play with him for the afternoon, and clearly they're not genuinely playing as equals as close in age siblings or classmates do, she's the babysitter in the end! When dc1 plays with dc3, which she occasionally does, its a similar sweet but asymmetrical dynamic really.

7 year gap and they have a great relationship.

Depends on how many years you want to be in pre-school mode/stand in a school playground for? Obviously you extend this phase of life if you don't have any overlap, which is great if you enjoy it.

My 11yo still enjoys playing with my 2yo. They play in the sandpit, hide and seek, dolls, teddy bears picnic, trampoline etc. I guess it will become more like helping in the next year or two as my 12yo doesn't really play much herself any more but still likes doing activities with the 2yo like Lego or drawing or swinging him around.

I think it's not just gap that matters but personality and also age/stage.

For example my almost 5yo absolutely loves playing with his 20mo sister at the moment, but I imagine at 12 and 8/9 he'll find her incredibly annoying.

There's 18 months between myself and my sister and we've never enjoyed playing together (or really liked each other much)- our personalities really clash.

There is a 20 month age difference between my two youngest sons and they have never really played together. My DD is 22 months older than older son, but played with my youngest son much much more even though the age gap was 3 and a half years so I guess it depends on the personality of each child more than anything.

Ps my DD (now 22) and youngest DS (19) are still thick as thieves. Both get on with middle son well enough but still not much in common.