Leaving an 8 year old at home alone for short periods of time?

[Waferbiscuit]

I'm a single parent without family support close by and this means I'm often stuck at home with my DD. DD is now 8 and a bit more independent.

I'd love to be able to go for a jog in the morning (even for just 30 minutes) but it means leaving DD at home alone.

What would you feel comfortable with - in terms of when and how long you might leave an 8 year old alone? Ever?

No, I would never leave an 8 year old unaccompanied - I would bring them with me in the evening and perhaps allow them to play in a playground while i did circuits around a wider area but I would never leave an 8 year old at home alone.

Personally I would not expect a child under secondary school age unaccompanied - they are not old enough to take responsibility if anything happened.

Interesting to see peoples opinions on this.

I have an 8 year old and we live remotely. I run up and down our farm drive with him in the house - at most I'm 6 mins from him. He knows how to use the phone to call me and could even wave if needed.

He's nearly 9 and I'd love to go further. I'm

I have an 8 yo and have left him alone for 10-15m while picking up his younger brother. He’s fine with it.

I have toyed with the idea of leaving him for half an hour while I go for a run and he’s not happy about it yet so not doing it.

That said I was definitely left for quite long periods as an 8 yo. I was def the more sensible end of the spectrum and we were very rural though, if that’s a factor.

Generally speaking I think 8/9 is the earliest I’d be happy to leave for shortish periods

I’ve been leaving my daughter on her own at home for short periods since she was 7. Only 10 mins to start while I’d pop to the village shop and she’s watching tv. I think because I live in a village that makes a difference - she knows to not open the door, if she needed any help she can pop to one of 3 neighbours. She’s 9 now and I occasionally leave her for 30 mins while I walk the dog or do some exercise. Wouldn’t leave longer than that. I think it depends on your situation.

If the 8 year old is comfortable with it and I think there rather sensible then yes I would do it, going over the ground rules obviously.

No cooking, no lighting candles, no answering the door, 999 in an emergency etc.

30 mins should be fine with a sensible 8 year old, if suitable ground rules are set.

I think that is still a bit young for 30 mins. You say in the morning - is this before school?

What if you fell and injured yourself? Is there someone you could call to go and get her etc Would she get panicky if you were delayed?

I leave my 8&10yos for 5 minutes or so to pop to the letterbox or local shop. (Both very close to our house). Similarly, they might go out together to the same places, or 10yo alone. 10yo isn't in charge of her sister, but is the more responsible one.

I leave 10yo for slightly longer, but she doesn't like it after dark.

I have an 8 year old and she's absolutely fine for short periods. I don't drag her out on the evenings or early mornings to walk the dog for for example and sometimes she can't be bothered coming out at 9pm for guides pick up especially in the cold and dark. Sometimes she doesn't want to come if I'm popping to the shops. Depends on the dc of course. Currently have covid and she's been walking herself to school and back every day and really enjoyed the responsibility.

Also I talked to the 8yo recently (as a reminder) of what to do in an emergency. She got the 999 bit, but blanked when I asked her what she would do if she couldn't find my phone (or her sisters). She now knows the other places to go for help (neighbours who she has met).

No cooking, no lighting candles, no answering the door, 999 in an emergency etc.

I have a no kitchen rule for mine if I'm popping out.

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

Also I talked to the 8yo recently (as a reminder) of what to do in an emergency. She got the 999 bit, but blanked when I asked her what she would do if she couldn't find my phone (or her sisters). She now knows the other places to go for help (neighbours who she has met).

How would she contact you if you'd left her your phone?

@liveforsummer that conversation was actually led on from the conversation of what they would do if I fell down the stairs.
When I'm out they have the 10yos phone.

Thx for your useful comments. My daughter has a mobile phone (kids!) and I always go out of the house with a phone, so she could always contact me. I would jog listening to music and with my phone.

Being a single parent pretty much means staying at home for 10 years - basically the last 10 years have been a 'pandemic year'!

My only concern with leaving young sensible kids at home alone for even a short time is fire. Fire really can panic adults let alone kids and it's can spread fast! There has been a case recently of a women who left her kids at home ( they were younger than 8 to add though, I think 2 and 4!!!) a house fire ripped through the house and killed them. The poor children would have had no way out of the house and did not stand a chance.

I have a very sensible 9 year old and would be concerned that all logic would go out the window should something catch fire. I appreciate its highly unlikely but until I am confident that she would just walk straight out of the house herself I won't leave her for 30 mins. Possibly when she's 11?

I wouldn’t leave an 8 year old alone.

I wouldn't. Think of the worst case scenario. What happens if you are taken ill/have an accident while out and can't contact her and nobody else knows she is home alone.

All kids are different, if you think yours is sensible enough and she's happy to be left on her own, then I think it's fine. You need rules about what not to do while you're out and run through different scenarios with her (e.g., what does she do if there's a fire?) Also helpful if you know the neighbours well enough that she can go there in an emergency.

We were leaving DS alone at this age but we were in Germany then and this would be completely normal there.

I had an 8/9 year old I was happy to leave at home alone for about 20 minutes at a time. Others were scandalised, but I knew my DD. She was very bright, very capable and confident about being on her own for short periods of time.

@rambleonplease

My only concern with leaving young sensible kids at home alone for even a short time is fire. Fire really can panic adults let alone kids and it's can spread fast! There has been a case recently of a women who left her kids at home ( they were younger than 8 to add though, I think 2 and 4!!!) a house fire ripped through the house and killed them. The poor children would have had no way out of the house and did not stand a chance.

I have a very sensible 9 year old and would be concerned that all logic would go out the window should something catch fire. I appreciate its highly unlikely but until I am confident that she would just walk straight out of the house herself I won't leave her for 30 mins. Possibly when she's 11?

People do panic when there is fire but that panic response is usually to run away from it, I would think a sensible 9 year old would do that? It's very different to a 2 year old.

It's not like things in your house will just spontaneously combust for no reason. If you make sure all appliances are off, no candles etc., then the only concern is some kind of electrical fire, and you would have to be extremely unlucky for that to happen in the 30 minutes you are out.

I gave DS very simple instructions, if he ever smells smoke or sees fire, just get out of the house.

8 is too young.

Depends on a few factors. How mature and responsible the child is, where you live, what relationships you have with the neighbours, whether or not you have left them alone before (ie been next door chatting with a neighbour or popped to the shop at the end of the street) plus what you personally feel is safe for your child.

I live in a quiet rural village. Kids as young as 5 roam alone or with friends on the park and street while parents are indoors. As someone who lived in a busy town all her life it was a shock to see. Children at 6 or 7 walking home from school with a friend or even alone if they're just a street or two away. It's completely normal for farmer children too to be left to their own devices on the farm.

My kids have now been raised the same and are pretty much free range (with iPhones so I can call them in for dinner and track their whereabouts when a pal calls at the door for them.) I wouldn't and don't think twice about leaving my 9yo alone at home.

If I lived where I grew up? I'd think completely differently.

Re the fire risk, it's terribly unlikely your house is going to burst in to flames if you have some basic rules - no kitchen, no candles, make sure washing machine and tumble direr are off at the wall, in the tiny tiny chance it does happen and waits til the 30 minutes you are gone, dc know to exit the house by whatever means possible straight away.

I've also never in my 42 years popped out for a quick walk or jog round the path and had an accident that left me unconscious so the odds of that happening on the rare times I go alone are pretty tiny. These are not levels of risk that need to be restricting your life

Yes I leave my 8 yo alone in the house for short periods. Usually for about 10-15 mins; the longest has been about half an hour.

My daughter is almost 9 and I've started leaving her for 15 minutes to walk the dog in the evening. She's fine, she wouldn't try to cook anything and doesn't answer the door