Sons father using friends urine for drugs tests, substance abuse, contact

[Newhere1394]

Hi all. After ending a 9 year relationship with my ex partner due to his cocaine addiction. I have found out the tests he would do to see our son he has been very sneakily using his friends urine. His friend told me out of concern due to my sons dad severe overdose symptoms as of recent. I’m not sure if contact should be allowed to continue at my songs grandparents (ex’s parents) which is where he’s spent time with our son for a few hours once a week since the split. When he’s not using or ill on a comedown he is a good interested capable father however I don’t think he will ever get clean long term & the lying of the urine tests makes me question if he should see our child at all?

Good God.

You need to report it. Firstly, there just has to be a clear picture available of his capability - his REAL capability - and ability to take parental responsibility. Presumably, right now contact is supervised by his parents? The assumption here is that ultimately, with him 'passing' drug tests, it will move to unsupervised. That clearly can't happen, and to prevent it and protect your son you need to report.

The issue of actual contact is trickier. If you don't think he'll ever get clean then it's a case of whether some kind of supervised contact could continue indefinitely. Would his parents be able to continue with this, as part of their own contact with your son? It's beneficial overall for him to know that side of the family and to have contact, if controlled and supervised. Do you get on with them? Would you be able to talk to them and explain that you will be reporting BUT not as a way to stop contact but to ensure that there is no chance that your son is put at risk in the future?

I have a urine test as part of my works medical as part of my job

No issues and happy to provide one 👍

One of the checks is the temperature of the sample which should be carried out literally straight away when sample is provided and handed over

If not, something wrong with their system 😳

The urine tests are for me and not to progress contact, well they could have progressed contact to alone days out with his son but he isn’t clean, his parents are more than happy to facilitate their contact and they’re nice people yeah.