When does a 2 year age gap get easier??!

[Monsoon92]

Struggling a bit this week, looking to hear from people who've got a 2 year gap. I've got a 8mo and a 2 and a half year old. I thought the newborn stage would be the hardest, with me stuck on the sofa breastfeeding while trying to entertain the toddler. But now the baby is crawling and it feels like a whole new world of difficulties! Toddler has started hurting baby when she gets frustrated with her - sitting on her and kicking her, but in a slow and more subtle kind of way if that makes sense? Baby has started pulling herself up to standing, but then just let's go which means that she can't really be left on her own, and definitely not with the toddler even for a second! Baby is also a complete limpet right now - just wants to be on me unless she has food in front of her, and then it's only a couple of minutes of freedom! Luckily bedtimes are okay, although we're still waking 2-3 times a night, not too bad!

Does it get easier when the youngest can walk? But then I'll have a 3 year old! Are they worse than 2 year olds? It's so utterly relentless right now, I can't imagine returning to work in a few months feeling like this!

I'm having takeaway and alcohol tonight to de-stress

My age gap is a little under two years. It got easier at the same pace that looking after one got easier, by and large.

Now my youngest is one and walking, the two of them can play together without constant supervision. And they love each other and play nicely most of the time.

It definitely gradually got easier, but there was a significant leap when the youngest was about 13m and confident toddling around and climbing.

It was all terribly hard work, but totally worth it - they play so much better than many friends siblings with much bigger gaps.

Mine are two years apart and have Just turned 2&4. Life has been getting easier month on month since my the youngest began walking at 10 months but certainly excelled from around 22m. His understanding has come on significantly so they can play together and my eldest has more patience for him now he can try and interact with him and join in with games. I’ve recently been able to sit while they play together for up to an hour which I never dreamed possible 6 months ago.
It gets better ❤️

I found when the youngest was 8 month - 18 month stage the hardest with two with this age gap. Basically from when they’re crawling until they start to be able to communicate a bit and play with the older sibling. It gets so much easier I promise, this is a really hard bit but it will pay off having them close together.

Mine are 20 months apart.

I remember it being hard when DC2 was 7 months old and suddenly very clingy.

I was watching old videos the other day, that I forgot I had, and there are videos of them playing together from when DC2 was about 15 months up. I think once they can engage with each other, while still hard work, you can enjoy a little of the benefit of having the age gap.

Mine are 2 and 4 and I find it so easy! They play together, the youngest is picking up potty training from his brother and they are mostly happy doing the same things x

3 year olds are definitely easier than 2 year olds if that makes you feel more hopeful

Mine are 20 months apart. The eldest is nearly 4 and the youngest is 2 and a bit. It’s only just getting easier and I think it will be so much better a year from now. The early years are such a struggle you have my sympathy!

Similar gap. Much easier when I put DC2 in nursery pt too at five months and went back to work.
Much much easier in fact.

If you have cracked bedtime, you are basically a hero and winning at parenting.

2 and 4 onwards for me has been a joy. 4 and 6 onwards, even better. And it just keeps on getting better. At 6 and 8 we started to let them go down together to watch TV in the morning so bit of a weekend lay in!

They love all the same things and they are best friends. TBH watching their relationship has been the very, very best part of motherhood for me. You have so much to look forward to!! But for now, keep your chin up, enjoy that takeaway and alcohol.

I think as soon as they start to play together. Then they can entertain each other for a little while so you can do the washing up have a rest.

I’m only just seeing it now at nearly 2 and 4yrs. I found 1-2 (youngest) really hard because he wants to copy everything his big sister does - often not suitable for him! Now he’s almost 2 and walking/talking/eating things are getting easier and they have started playing together which is lovely.

Depends on the kids. But 2 and 4 gets easier when the little one starts to talk and so they can play better together. Make believe and stuff like that.

Thanks all, I feel a bit more hopeful! So just a couple of months to see a bit of a difference, and then 2 is the easier bit! I just hate the clingy stage; I literally can't walk anywhere without the baby clinging to my ankles and wailing! Love reading about the good sibling relationships, I really hope we have this as well!

Agree with @Droppingdown at 22 months the youngest has stopped destroying so much and my just turned 4 year old has stopped being aggressive and more happy to share and play. They cuddle, wrestle, play fight and fight. They run around together and play and I often do my own thing.

I've got a 22 month gap and I think I found the newborn time the easiest. But from when the youngest was nearly 2 they did start playing together really beautifully. The older one leads the game and the younger happily follows.

You've a way to go yet

Maybe when little one reaches 3? Does depend on the personality though

I have a 22 month age gap - currently have a 6 month old and a 2.4 year old and my god it's hard. It just feels really relentless at the moment. The baby is super clingy and I really don't feel like I have any personal space or time to myself at the moment. Just wanted you to know that you're not alone!

I’m a bit further behind you OP with a two year old and a 3 month old. My god it’s relentless, baby waking every 1-2 hours through the night, toddler whinging all day. We rarely get through bedtime without everyone crying, including me.
Good to read that it gets easier as they get older, I’m slightly despairing that I have at least a year to go before it lets up though.
Good luck! I’m sure we’ll both think it’s worth it in a couple of years. Just got to take it a day at a time.

I have the same age gap. I'd say 8-18m was the hardest. Then it gradually got easier, though it was a while before it got as easy as the newborn stage. Now at 4.5 and nearly 3, its absolutely fine, and they entertain eachother a lot

Solidarity @StruggleStreet! Good news is that I've seen some nice moments between them where they can 'play' together for about 5 seconds, so that's nice! Since posting I feel the baby has been slightly more stable on her feet (not letting go of the table/sofa and falling straight on her head) so she's a tiny bit less clingy. Yesterday she played on her own for a whole 10 minutes! Thanks for all the replies, it's nice to know I'm not abnormal for struggling.

Progressively got easier. Mine have just turned five and just turned three, it is sooooo much easier now. They love each other, play together. I can do stuff while they play. No one’s in nappies, honestly though I think once the youngest could walk it got easier. That stage when the baby isn’t a sleepy newborn happy in a sling or pram but isn’t yet walking
Is the worst. Once you’ve got two walking kids options for outings just open up.

I had 17 months between my two boys. They are now 5 and 7. It got easier when the youngest was 2. However now it's got hard again as they argue, fight, and annoy each other constantly. They're into the same things and can do the same activities, which is a bonus, but the fighting.... And arguing.... That's hard. I almost, wish for the younger days again!