Did anyone's VERY bad sleeper eventually figure it out on their own without intervention?

[WildWombat]

Particularly breastfeeding babies. Has anyone's baby managed to get there on their own? No sleep training, no engineering, just an organic gradual change from multiple overnight wake ups to consistent long stretches.

Did have

Yes, my daughter started sleeping longer stretches at around 18 months and then started regularly (not every night) sleeping through at about 2.5. I nightweaned her at 12mo though due to pregnancy and we day weaned at 2y2m so I don't think bf made any difference - she was pretty bad though, woke every 20-45 minutes for the first 9 months of her life.

My second is 18mo and still very terrible though if I bedshare we have just started getting a few longer stints, he's also just started doing a 4ish hour stint on his own at the start of the night. Still feeding him (despite many attempts to wean!)

Yes. Both my two were ridiculous sleepers as babies. No idea how I survived looking back but we did! I didn't do any kind of sleep training, they both just gradually started sleeping better from around 17/18 months (stopped breastfeeding at 13/15 months.) It wasn't a sudden overnight change and I don't think any one specific thing made the difference but for both of mine, moving from a cot to a bed seemed to help massively.

DS1 has been an excellent sleeper since about 2 and a half. It takes him a while to get to sleep-we used to have to sit or lie with him and read / sing for a bit (and he still takes a while to wind down now, at the age of 12) but he sleeps through like a log.)

DS2 falls asleep the minute his head hits the pillow. He slept consistently well from about the age of 2.5 also but did frequently wake once (or sometimes twice) during the night needing a wee or having a bad dream and wanting to be tucked back in. This carried on (very much on and off not every single night but it was common enough that I half expected it most nights) until he was maybe 7 ish but it would literally take me two minutes to walk him back to his room and kiss him goodnight and he'd be back off to sleep again.

I know it doesn't feel like there's light at the end of the tunnel when you're in the thick of it but there is!

Yes! Dc1 awful sleeper from day 1. Started co sleeping at 8 weeks because I literally wasn't getting any sleep at all when I tried to settle him in the crib. Ups and downs even then. At 1yo he actually slept through the night for the first time but sporadically. At about 2yo we moved him to a toddler bed and he would just jump back in with us on bad nights. Between 2-3yo sleep steadily improved and he began sleeping through most nights. At 3yo we moved bedrooms around and he helped re decorate the room he is now in. He pretty much slept through from then. Now 4yo and he sleeps 12 hours every night unless ill and asks to go to bed. Bedtime takes about 10 minutes maximum. Personally I'm glad we didn't sleep train - we did discuss it when he was about 8mo - since he absolutely did sort himself out and for all he was a pain in the butt, we had minimal tears! I remember reading on here that co sleepers never sleep through or independently and did worry for a while, but it's been absolutely fine.

I forcibly night-weaned DD at 18 months and it didn't help a bit. She still took forever with loads of crying with me beside her for years, and slept through the night for the first time at 6 years of age.
She's 12 now and a good sleeper so it does pass eventually.

Yes both shocking sleepers until age 4, after that you could play loud music next to them they wouldn’t wake up. Still sleep through anything now they are teens.

Night weaned very very gently at 21 mo (didn't send dad in or stop bedsharing) and sleep got better and better after that. Yes, he occasionally yells to be tucked in, or after a bad dream, but at 4.5yo, this has been our norm for about 18 mo now. Oh, and I have to wake him nearly every morning, he's not, and never was an early riser. Nor does he think to get out of bed and squeeze in with us- if he asks, after a dream, he waits for a parent to agree.

Yep. Never sleep trained my eldest. She had obstructive sleep apnoea so was a HORRIFIC sleeper. By 2 and a half she just woke up for a 3amwee, which she dropped about when she turned 3.

It's normal for babies and toddlers to wake at night. If you feel you cant cope, I'm sure sleep training can be very helpful. But if you don't want to do it, you really don't have to! I was very worried about all the "if you don't TEACH your child to self settle they never will!". Thinking about its bollocks. If you don't TEACH your child to walk will they stay stuck sitting on the floor forever? No. Maybe they will do it a little later, but these things are part of normal development. If you're happy for them to happen at their own pace, that's fine.

My first only slept in tiny bursts until I night weaned him at about 18 months. Then he slept for longer and longer stretches and was sleeping through by about 2. I still breastfed in the day until he was almost 3 and we coslept until he was 5 but now he sleeps very soundly in his own bed. I didnt night wean to change his sleep patterns, I did it because I was pregnant again and experiencing aversion.

@ImpossibleGirl86

Yes, but we're talking years, not months. I stopped feeding overnight between 1.5&2 and that helped massively. Just turned 4 and still wakes probably twice a night but that's so much better than the hourly wake ups when tiny!

This sounds like us. DS is just 3 and slowly getting better, but still multiple wakings in the early part of the night.

Those of you who night weaned, how did you go about it? Did you just stop one night or reduce feeds gradually? Did the babies struggle to adjust? DD doesn't really need her feeds now. I'm convinced she only wants them for the snuggly feeling. I'm worried she'll be inconsolable when she wakes in the night if I cut her off 😬

Oh my goodness, yes he eventually did but it was a long haul. He would typically be up 25-30 times per night, it was awful. What worked for us by recommendation from a sleep clinic was to take him out of the cot and put him in a bed. He was still small so we went with a mattress on the floor which felt safer! After two restless nights, we've never looked back and he's turned into the best sleeper in the house, an earthquake wouldn't wake him!

When should breastfeeding stop at night?

Generally speaking, the evidence seems to suggest that night-weaning is best left until after around 18 months. Many mothers find that gently cutting down feeds at this point is much easier, as the baby is learning to talk and the mother can help to explain any changes.

From La Leche League....my go to!

@WildWombat

Those of you who night weaned, how did you go about it? Did you just stop one night or reduce feeds gradually? Did the babies struggle to adjust? DD doesn't really need her feeds now. I'm convinced she only wants them for the snuggly feeling. I'm worried she'll be inconsolable when she wakes in the night if I cut her off 😬

Very slowly as we didn’t want it to be traumatic. Out starting point was DS co sleeping with me on a floor bed and feeding all night. Cot was sat redundant in the same room with DH in the spare room. We were in the lucky position of DH working from home, with relatively flexible hours.

DH put DS down for his first nap of the day on the floor bed for a week or so. He then put him down in the cot for a week or so for the first nap. Stayed and supported throughout - usually by humming to him and stroking his back. We then progressed to both naps in the cot, again for a good few weeks. We then took the plunge and tackled nights. We side car’d the cot to our bed. Initially DH just put him down for the night so he could self settle, but any wakes had a breastfeed. We then loosely followed the Jay Gordon method - so no feeds initially between midnight and 06:00, but feeds right up until that point. We then started increasing the time, until eventually he wasn’t having any feeds at all. Any wakes were met with stroking and shhing and humming. We then detached the cot and gradually moved it away from our bed, before finally moving it into his room.

I have to say, by 10ish months he quite rapidly dropped to a maximum of 1 or 2 wakes a night. We then had a relatively bad 12 month sleep regression, but after it went (at about 14 months) he quite consistently slept through.

My DD started consistently sleeping through the night by about 4.5 years old but it had been improving for about the year before that with normally only one or two wake ups a night. We didn't sleep train, co-slept till she felt ready for her own bed.

I don't think breast feeding has anything to do with it personally. Three all weaned by 10-11months from fully breast fed, none ever had bottles. One slept through from that point 12hours, other two were 4yrs old before slept through. Gets easier when they can trot along the landing and just climb into bed with you 😴😂

Hi Alice,

I could have written this - you’re describing us right now. I cannot sustain the constant boobing/cosleeping. She’s awake constantly and wants boob in her mouth all night. I need my partner to be able to help. I’m at my lowest now. Baby 10months. I read about habit stacking. Can you tell me how you did it?

x

Yes, but not until he was about 3yo.

I know this is old but I wanted to add my story in case it helps anybody who may be google success stories in the middle of the night.

My son was the worst sleeper I have ever heard of in my entire life. I never came across anybody on google or real life whose baby/toddler/infant slept like him. When he was a tiny baby he slept 10 hours every night and I thought I hit the jackpot, then the four month sleep regression hit and it all went to shit..

He, no word of a lie, woke 20-30 times in a 12 hour period. Now if you do the math that’s roughly on average him waking every 15-20 minutes and I wish I was kidding. He was really bad. If he wasn’t waking a million times he was waking for long periods. When he was about 2 he started waking at 2/3/4am (was always random) and staying awake for 3-4 hours completely wide awake. It was hell on earth honestly. I remember one night he woke at 1am and didn’t go back to sleep until 10am, we tried everything, it didn’t work.

I got super ill just before he turned 3 and he was still nursing occasionally at this point and absolutely still nursing at night as it was the quickest way to get him back to sleep. Anyway, because I was so ill it almost forced us to get his dad to do the wake ups in the night. He just used to cradle him like a baby and bounce on the end of the bed (we coslept) and after a couple weeks of doing this it was like a light switch flipped and he didn’t wake anymore. He slept through the night, every single night.

As he approached 3.5 we decorated his bedroom, bought him a toddler bed and tried him in there one night.. he still slept all night. A couple months later I stopped breastfeeding him to sleep and just said goodnight, closed the door and that was it.. he slept. I couldn’t believe it, he’s now almost 5 and I still can’t believe it.

He still has random moments where he takes a while to wind down and fall asleep, he can sometimes come out of his room with all manners of excuses at bedtime but they are short lived and absolutely NOTHING like the hell we went through the first 3 years of his life.

I now have a second who is 8 months old and he too is a terrible sleeper, I don’t think he’s quite on par with his older brother but he is definitely not far off. Writing this out has helped remind me that it does end and they do just all somehow get it in their own time.