Thinking about switching schools

[Phos]

My daughter is 5 in March. She goes to a small independent school. She started in their preschool class when she was 3 and is now in their reception. In preschool everything was absolutely fine, she enjoyed school, went in happily every day and even asked to go to breakfast or after school club some days. Then came reception and it’s been a bit of a nightmare. She cries every day at drop off, keeps saying she doesn’t like it but we can’t really get a clear reason why.

I’m arranging to meet with the school to try understand what is going on but the more I hear “I don’t want to go back to that place” and see the changes in her (worse behaviour, seems less confident) the more I’m considering moving her. The only thing is I feel terrible tearing her away from the only friends she really knows.

Has anyone ever done this and have any food or bad experiences?

(PS I’m not looking for slagging off of independent schools.)

Sorry that should read good or bad!

Is she able to say whats so bad? The routine, a staff member, another child being mean?

Talk to the teacher to get to the bottom of the problem before moving, or it may be the same in a new school.

I moved my ds1 in P1 (reception) and it was totally fine. He met his best friend on day 1. I'll never forget him coming out after the first day smiling, saying "mummy, in my new school the children are so kind"

I think you need to get to the bottom of it. Talk to the teacher and if possible talk to other staff as well who may see her in different environments such as the dinner ladies, teaching assistants etc.

DS had been v unhappy, crying every day, couldn't tell me why. School response was woefully inadequate. It later transpired that it was bullying from a group of older kids in playground - I only found out from another parent when they moved onto her child after ds moved.

How school reacts is v important.

Unless the school is over-subscribed, they will be 100% invested in getting you to stay, no matter how unsuitable a place it is for your child.

You need to be really specific with your questions. Start with the academic.
After a term, assuming class sizes are small, the teacher should know exactly how your child is fairing.

She's very young. It could be dyslexia, or she just doesn't respond well to the teacher, or it's a specific child.

Get to the bottom of it and don't hesitate to move her if you find reason to.
At 5 she will make new friends and transition easily.

It’s massively oversubscribed - I think there were 25-30 on the waiting list for her year group.

I don’t think it’s dyslexia, she can read and write well for her age but I’m wondering if maybe it’s to do with the teacher. Unfortunately it’s a one form entry so I can’t ask if she could move classes otherwise that would have been a possible avenue to explore.

I'd move her. Honestly the simple question is what's more important here, attending a prestigious school or her being happy at school?

If the school have not even begun approaching strategies with you after seeing her cry every single morning at drop off and her behaviour changing then they are failing her. As a teacher I would have been discussing this with you months ago and trying to find out why she is so unhappy.

I would move her, she will make new friends I promise you.

Moving schools was the best thing we ever did for DS. He wasn't happy, no confidence, thought he was stupid and only attempting Y1 work (despite being Y2 in a mixed year class) His teacher said he was fine and 'meeting expectations'.

New school, now 12 months later, he's a different kid, bounces into and out of school every day, reads and writes for pleasure and LOVES his teachers. Teacher immediately recognised the confidence issues and has worked so hard and successfully addressed it.

If your DD isn't happy at age 5, move. Without a doubt. Kids age 5 don't hate school for no reason.

I think you speak to the teacher (ideally at an agreed time not just for 5m at the school gates). You try and get to the bottom of it and what, if anything, the school can do to help.
You give it a few more weeks and then yeah,
See about moving her. Probably worth finding out now which other schools have spades for her age group.

Spaces
Not spades!

We’ve emailed her class teacher (she had two on a job share last term and from this week it’ll just be the one, who incidentally seems the nicer one!) to request a meeting to discuss. I guess we will take it from there. I’m going to see if I can find out which schools have spaces. I’ll only move her if I can get her into a school I’m happy with, the reason we went independent in the first place is there are some really naff primary schools where we are!