Struggling with baby

[RedRuby26]

My baby is 10 and half weeks old. He has reflux and on omperzole and gaviscon. For the past 10 weeks I've had maybe 1 or 2hrs sleep a day. He refuses to sleep in his next to me bed (even with my hands on him and it inclined, tried it all warming it first putting my clothes in it etc, has a ewan and a zedd which vibrates as he likes movement) or his moses basket. He won't co sleep either he will cry after 10 mins even on his side. He will only sleep on my chest and he has a habit of trying to bury his face into me. So I can't sleep as massive risk of sids. Won't settle at all for my DH.

He also cries a lot and fights sleep constantly. Today he has cried and been awake from 4pm till now 2am. He is teething as biting his hand constantly. Given him calpol and cold teething rings, dummy etc nothing helped. Cant give much else till 3 months.

He is formula fed and normally good at taken a bottle and pretty greedy tbh but is horrendous when trying to wind, he screams crying as he wants his bottle and just fights against you. This week has been the worse he is in inconsolable after winding and refuses his bottle unless you feed him stood up and walking. I don't know what is going on.

My hv just is at a loss on how to help and just keeps saying she feels sorry for me. My drs say he will get better with age and its colic. He is healthy as gaining weight and plenty of wet nappies.

I feel like I can't take anymore. Tonight I sobbed and pleaded to god to please help me as am so exhausted, my back is broken and my heart seeing my little one like this. I keep thinking we out the woods as colic peaks at 6-8 weeks but its just gotten worse.

I just came on my first period as well and in agony to make it all 10x worse. Been on massive long walk with him in carrier which normally helps but he wouldn't even sleep then.

I feel like he just a highly strung narky baby

Oh and I have white noise on super loud, shush him (he doesn't like swaddle and starting to roll on his side so can't swaddle anyway) pat his bum etc. I've read so much about soothing baby and YouTube videos nothing helps, he hates the bath. I give him massages, bicycle legs etc. He has a dummy, gripe water, dentinox and prebiotics. I feel like I have tried everything under the sun. We going to cranial osteopath soon was meant to go before Christmas but It was cancelled due to osteopath having a cold. He also hasn't had his 8 weeks needles yet as delayed due to Christmas. Having them on Tuesday.

Oh my goodness, that sounds like torture. Are nappies are normal colour? Have you considered CMPA?

Gosh, that’s sounds horrendously tough, I’m so sorry.
I think at this point I would be pushing further assessment to rule out any other underlying medical issues. It might just be the reflux but maybe there is something else going on?
In the meantime have you got anyone to help you? Maybe to take the baby for a while so you can get some sleep or at the very least a mental break?
It must seem endless at the moment but it WILL get easier. You are doing great 💐

I couldn't read and not reply to this, this sounds like an incredibly tough situation for all of you. I agree with above, it sounds like there are definite underlying issues here. My now-6 month old DD was very similar to your little one. We tried gaviscon and omeprazole for her reflux too, they only made her worse! Eventually we got to the bottom of it - she has CMPA and an egg allergy! We're now awaiting an appointment at the allergy clinic to rule out any other allergies. If you have Instagram, a page I found incredibly helpful is 'rockabyereflux'. Are there any family members close by who could watch baby for an hour or so whilst you get a little sleep?

I'm sending you all the biggest hug, reflux is so brutal for both baby and parents xx

All I can say is

Is your husband helping support with other areas. Prepping bottles, cooking for you, cleaning, shopping etc.?

Also can you discuss with him about taking the baby for 4 /6 hours in the day and you pop earplugs in/he goes out so you can get a block of sleep.

Keep going to the doctors as agree there sounds like something else at play- If formula fed can you just buy a range of free from/allergy formula's and work through them to see if that helps?

@Totalwasteofpaper

All I can say is

Is your husband helping support with other areas. Prepping bottles, cooking for you, cleaning, shopping etc.?

Also can you discuss with him about taking the baby for 4 /6 hours in the day and you pop earplugs in/he goes out so you can get a block of sleep.

Keep going to the doctors as agree there sounds like something else at play- If formula fed can you just buy a range of free from/allergy formula's and work through them to see if that helps?

Free from formula costs £50 plus a tin and you need to know which order to do them it. There is no point doing lactose free unless there is a family history of it.

Ask the GP about CMPA.

I had no idea they were that expensive!!!
Apologies for the crappy advice...

Oh OP I remember this so well I hope you are doing OK. It is torture! I have some small bits of advice that might help a little...

1. What formula are you using? We found HIPP comfort/reflux much more gentle and easier for DD to digest.
2. We lay DD on her side and jammed her in the beside the bed cot with pillows either side so she wouldn't roll onto her face. Please make sure the pillows don't come up past her armpits and are lower than her face for obvious suffocation reasons.
3. A deep bath in the afternoon before the witching hour at 4pm helped a little with sore tummy.
4. Baby massage for her stomach - you can YouTube videos
5. Get outside and go for a walk even if you LO is screaming their head off (obviously fed, burped, changed) but it's important for your mental health
6. We found infacol, gripe water etc did more worse than good

I'm so sorry you are finding it so hard, it is sooo bloody hard!!! I will say that 10 weeks is far far too young to be teething and it is just baby has found their hands to chew on- very normal! Do you have anyone who could give you a break? Come over and look after your LO while you sleep? I'm sorry it's so hard but it WILL get better. You are so strong and doing an excellent job!x

We were very similar the reflux meds helped a bit but he also had cmpa so had to cut dairy out. For months I basically went to bed 7-12. My husband stayed up til 12 and then I took over. I didn't co sleep I would settle him then put back in cot. We found sleeping on his stomach helped( not recommended) but we had a breathing alarm so would do that if desperate.

That sounds very much like my little boy. I wrote a similar desperate post on here and people suggested CMPA. We were lucky to be combination feeding so I was able to stop FF and go vegan, the difference was enormous. He is a totally different baby. He still gets quite a lot of wind and on a bad night I hold him most of the night but in general he’s a decent sleeper and just is much happier and more peaceful.

Sounds very much like my DS was at that age so you gave my sympathy. DH used to take him out in the car so that I'd could get an hours sleep.

With DS it was Tongue Tie. Have you had it ruled out? The symptoms are here.

It could also be the formula or CMPA. Which formula is he on now @RedRuby26?

Oh OP my son is almost 15 years old now and your post brought back so many memories😢
We really struggled so much with my son's acid reflux from birth. Health visitors were no help. I remember clearly surviving on 1-2 hours sleep a night and just thinking, "I'm in hell."
Colic stuff didn't work, gaviscon didn't work. Ranitidine from the hospital worked - but only when he was about 6 months old and when they got the dosage right. I have a vivid memory of my 2 year old repeatedly saying, "Mummy, the baby's not crying any more!"
I don't think they use it anymore.

We cut out all dairy.
Try not to lift his legs for nappy changes as it squished his stomach and causes acid to rise.
Don't put him down flat- he just spent all his time in a cloth carrier thing strapped to me or propped up or on dad.
We stated solids at 16 weeks on advice on doctors just baby rice to see if it would help the vomiting and help weight gain

It WILL get better as he gets older and learns to sit up, stand etc...

It's tough but it improved immensely after 3 months usually

Try and palm him off to friends and family who pop round so you can have a nap

Have you a sling? Helps with refluxy baby to keep them upright without killing your arms and back so much.

Are you doing paced bottle feeding yeah?

Why can't your DH take the baby once he's asleep and can sleep on his chest while you get sleep? Or if the baby won't settle anyway DH might as well take him and you can sleep then with ear plugs as someone else recommended.

I wrote a respond and didn't post ffs.

Formula wise he was on hipp and then hipp comfort. Dr said try aptamil comfort. We did for 3 weeks and really didn't agree with him made him not go very often and windy. He didn't go for no2 very often with hipp either. We switched a month ago to kendamil and been improvement in bowels and he defo less congested and chesty. We trying kendamil medi for colic constipation at moment but not finding it helps and he prefers organic.

We have tried every single bottle basically and he has dr brown now. We try pace feeding and little but often but he so greedy it's hard. He goes mad when you take bottle away even when you put a dummy in. He suffers from terrible hiccups as well.

We do lots of massages and change him before we feed. We also have wedgehog for his changing mat and play gym.

I have pushed and pushed both GPS about CMPA but they said they don't think it is because he has no rash, no diarrhea or blood in stools and doesn't vomit. His reflux is more silent and spit up. He is gaining weight amazingly and has about 6oz around 5 times a day. So they say he is healthy even though I told them he never settles and cries for hours just said its reflux and colic. They said see how he is in few months when he more mature.

My hv has tried a referral to dietician so hopefully they will see us.

He has taken his bottle today and slept OK from 2am and all morning been ok but then 4pm rolls around again and settled for 30 mins then woke up crying. I've taken him for walk in carrier though my back is broken but it started to rain so had to come back. He sleeps in his carrier so I wanted him to get some sleep so not overtired. He had a bath with me and massage and bottle and asleep now but not sure how long for. He was very unsettled with hiccups. I give him some cooled boiled water but it didn't help this time.
I think its colic because he defo less unsettled when you stood up holding him but it seems to be worse at 10 weeks than ever. We thought 6-8 weeks was bad but that was just like 3 or 4 hrs of crying and then he settle and sleep from like 10 till 2am and 3am till 8am.

Am going to call drs tomorrow and ask to be seen. I want to ask for liquid omperzole as the tablets u have to dissolve is nightmare it gets stuck in the syringe. He spits half it out (do a tiny bit at a time and into side of his cheek etc) and the granules just stay stuck to his tongue.

I use a sling but he only tolerates it and sleeps for tiny amount of time.
My husband can't really deal with him crying he gets very stressed which then makes baby more stressed. I can't sleep if I know he is crying and even imagine he is crying when he isn't am that on edge. Am on anti depressants now for 6 weeks and even been given sleeping pills by perinatal team. I have headphones on full blast but I can't sleep knowing he is crying and not settled. I can't sleep when he is out (we don't drive) eith husband as I can't relax till they are home. Am terrified of him dying for sids constantly as well. I know the lack of sleep making me more anxious.

My mum occasionally helps out but she is disabled and has just recovered from cancer though still on hormone tablets. So she can't really help much. He settles for her but hasn't done this week. I manage to get maybe 2 or 3 hrs when my mum here. My husbands parents know we going through super rough time and have barely been near. His dad wouldn't even drive us to A&E when he was few days old with jaundice. So says it all really. All my other family and friends have small babies or toddlers so can't help either besides give advice.

I had a super tough pregnancy had constant sickness throughout, pgp and round ligament pain, migraines and terrible acid reflux. Was in a wheelchair by the end. That's why I had to have elective c section well I chose to because I was in so much pain and consultant agreed be best especially with my migraines and I have a heart condition.

Thanks everyone for advice and comments. Everyone keeps saying cmpa to me and even hv querying it but drs won't listen but I going to just have to keep going back. I think they just think am anxious first time mum. I am having councilling and she use to be a midwife and has suggested asking gp can we go to hospital for 48hrs to be monitored as its not normal behaviour.

Not sure why your GPs are saying that. I have CMPA and o don't get a rash or vomit, it's not common with non-ige CMPA.

Have a read of this from Allergy UK. It has some useful tips on what to say to the Doctor

does he have a dummy? if he is crying for the bottle, maybe he is just a sucky baby and would settle better in a sling or in a cuddle with a dummy? you may have to hold it in place until he gets used to it, but if it helps him sleep, that would be very good. And might then help him sleep in other locations too.

Thanks i will print off some info from allergy UK for dr. I don't see how a trial of milk with hurt. Its clear medication isn't working fully its been over 5 weeks since on omperzole. 2.5mg he has and is 12 pounds probably more now. He has a dummy yes he uses it a lot but also spits it out a lot. He defo is teething he has dribble, red cheeks and chin, sore gums and nearly took my finger off when I put my finger against his gums. We just bought the teething gloves for him.

Couldn’t read and run. We were in and out the doctors trying to figure out what was up with our son during his first few weeks too , although no where near as bad as your situation and slightly different symptoms too.
But I came across cow & gate anti reflux and regurgitation. I used Amazon to order it as it’s quite hard to get, you can get just anti reflux from quite a lot of places but specifically this one worked for us. Maybe worth a try in the mean time?
We had also tried the baby Gaviscon prescribed by the GP, gripe water etc all seemed to improve him for a few days but then back to square one, but this worked a treat. It’s a thicker formula and getting the right teat so it wasn’t fast flowing but also wasn’t too hard to get out was trial and error at first. We used no2 Mam teat as we had Mam bottles.

You could buy the CMPA formula yourself to see if it makes a difference? We were prescribed aptamil pepti. It's quite expensive but might be worth a try? Some babies can still be sensitive to this, if so they can go to SMA althera, Alfamino and neonate. These should all be used under the guidance of a doctor or dietician, however they are freely available to buy.

We actually trialed carobel which is carob bean gum which is in the cow and gate and all anti reflux milk. You can use it to thicken normal milk. It didn't help anymore than gaviscon unfortunately. To be honest omperzole should neutralise the acid so its not painful when coming back up anyway dr said but he seems to cry after winding when you can hear milk coming back up and being swallowed.

The kendamil medi plus colic is partially Hydrolysed Protein and reduced lactose so wouldn't i notice a difference due to this?

Not sure how to edit my posts to add stuff but we where checked by the dr in hospital for tongue tie as we had massive issues breastfeeding (struggled with large boobs, I have sweaty hands so made it difficult and he struggled to latch on and just would fall asleep. I ended up pumping for 2 weeks and combi fed made myself ill and ended up with bad mastitis on antibiotics for 3 weeks and decided to formula feed as my milk supply was awful and I couldn't have migraine treatment whilst breastfeeding either). Hv also checked for tongue tie and also said really doesn't think so but she has referred us to tongue tie specialist but said there is a really long wait list but she be happy to refer us just incase we have missed something.
Am hoping dietician will see us anyway since hv put referral in as he is greedy and like to guzzle the sooner we can wean under guidance the better. He already nearly has full head control and is starting to roll onto his side.

I worry more about him not sleeping than me. I obviously am dying not having barely any sleep but am managing but its the weeks of crying and not settling and not seeing any end in sight. We been trying to put him in his moses basket for even 10 mins to get him use to it. I think he prefers sleeping on his stomach so when he can roll fully be much better.

At the moment we are working it where my husband sits in bed with us for few hours and watches us whilst watching something on his phone and I try doze with the baby on my chest. Its pretty hard to sleep like that but I may get an hour or so drifting in and out of sleep and obviously my husband can make sure baby isn't suffocating.

We also live in a small flat on first floor on big victorian house with no lift and a lot of stairs into the house and onto the first floor so I can't even take him out in the pram. Its a nightmare. We where in middle of buying a house just as I got pregnant and about to all go through and It fell through. House prices have since gone up 50k in the area and we can't afford it and rent doubled. Our neighbours in the other flats must hate us between the shush and white noise on full blast and baby crying 24/7.

Honestly I just wish I didn't have to sleep and he would settle. I never get angry or want to be away from him. Am just exhausted and my body broken. Hopefully he will get better with age. The past 10 weeks has flown by so I know the next 3 will as well and I am looking forward to spring when it's not as cold so can have longer walks and not so many bugs going around either.

Can you try to put him to sleep on his front as long as one of you is watching? It was recommended I think back in the 70s/80s and they changed it to front later on. So whilst it's not currently recommended it must have been considered OK back in the day.

Also you could try putting his to sleep slightly upright? We used to put rolled up towels under the mattress to elevate one end of the mattress.

It sounds really stressful.

Every single thing you have written is exactly what my son was like, right down to sleeping on my chest. We got to 9 months and finally got told they suspected he had CMPA, but by that point he wouldn't take the formula as he was so used to it. I'd definitely look into that as a possibility.

I felt so anxious reading your post, remembering my poor little baby going through all of that and how I felt so powerless. I'm so sorry you're going through this too.

I'm sorry, I don't really have much advice here, just offering solidarity.

One thing I do wish I had pushed earlier though was the CMPA route.