Feel like I don't get to really be a mum..

[rosesarereddish]

DS is 2.5 and has always been a daddy's boy, he plays with me and chats to me etc I do get cuddles and kisses but if he hurts himself he wants his daddy, bath times he wants daddy, bed time he wants daddy, he wakes up in the night he cries for daddy. I haven't done bed time in months and months, we try and he gets so worked up screaming for his dad I give up. I sometimes feel like I'm not a proper mum. I don't get to do a lot of mum stuff. I am pregnant and I've been in bed today feeling unwell, I came down and tried to play Duplo with him and he just kept saying no I play with daddy, mummy go upstairs. I'm listening to his dad read him stories now putting him to bed and I can't lie, I'm jealous. I'm so jealous that I don't get this side of him. I've been told they all go through phases, but he's 2 and a half.. he still hasn't gone through any sort of mummy phase. It breaks my heart a bit I feel like I'm missing out on so much?

I had this with my eldest. Not quite to the extreme you describe (not screaming if I do bedtime), but definitely a daddy's boy.

One thing I will say is that it changed a bit when I had my second. Not sure if it was because I was less available / slight jealousy, or because it's clear my youngest is going to be a mummy's boy and my eldest wondered if he was missing something , or if it would've happened anyway as he was growing up.

No great wisdom, but probably a long phase. I'd say try to enjoy your downtime while you can (but seriously, it is difficult).

And I found 2.5 a really difficult age generally, got better by 3.

My son is 3 next month and is very similar, he’s also a pain to get to bed so I’m happy he doesn’t want me to do that 😅

Can your OH go away for a whole day; I find with my son out of sight out of mind, but if he’s there it’s a constant reminder?

I am sorry this does sound so hard and I hope too has change for you.
So what does your husband do to support you with this ? It’s tough being a mum but does your husband help when your DS is behaving like this. Xx

His dad goes away with work every now and then and then DS is fine with me, let's me put him to bed etc no issues, doesn't ask for him much he is very much out of sight out of mind. But his dad is here more than he isn't, so it's just the everyday stuff I don't seem to get a look in. It's hard!

I have been hoping the baby might make him jealous so he can appreciate me more, but I realise how that sounds! We'll never get this time back, I don't want to look back and just think I missed out on it all. He wouldn't give me a bedtime kiss tonight and his dad was trying to force him, I don't want to do that and have him resent me so said it was ok and just waved to him instead. Might be the hormones but I've cried since