Ashamed - pelvic floor

[Knees90]

Name changed for this and not sure it really belongs on parenting forum

But basically after 3 kids my pelvic floor is f*cked. And I don't just mean a little bit of wee. Having really embarrassing problems with number 2s. I literally can't write it down as I'm so ashamed even tho I'm writing to a bunch of strangers

I do my pelvic floor exercises 3 times a day. I've seen my GP who told me to eat fibre and basically just put up with it. I saw a private physio who said "doesn't seem that bad" when she felt my pelvic floor exercises and just told me to do the exercises standing up

But it just gets worse and worse. I have 3 kids under 5 so finding two mins to go to loo is difficult enough without all this.

Is there anything that can be done except those stupid exercises? I can't have to put with this forever surely.

Sorry for gross topic.

Go back to the doctor that's not an acceptable answer. Or go to a different one

No you shouldn’t have to put up with it. If it was a man suffering the same symptoms you can bet he wouldn’t be expected to just put up with it.

What were your births like? I had similar issues to you after a forceps birth and eventually I had surgery to repair the damage. I had to have it done privately on my company health insurance. Would something like that be an option for you?

You can’t reasonably be expected to live like this for the rest of your life. I’m assuming you’re only in your thirties?

Op if you’re faecallly incontintinent I am not sure that’s your pelvic floor. You need to see your doctor again,

I just want to say that I am having the exact same issue as you, it is starting to rule my life. I went to my doctor (well I telephoned them) and they checked a blood test and stool sample and I have heard nothing since and that was 6-8 weeks ago. They don’t care

Have you told the Dr and the physio specifically what is happening/what the problem is, or have you been vague about “pelvic floor problems”? The more specific you can be with them, the more they can help. If you find it difficult to physically say it to them then you can write it down and hand the note to them.

@Interrobanger Yes. So my second was forceps and it started being issue but covid hit and wasn't able to sort anyone. It wasn't that bad but a bit of an issue. Then got pregnant again, had another birth with stitches etc and now it's so awful

I did read that it won't get better without surgery. Did your surgery totally fix it? Do I have to have private insurance?

Go back to your gp and demand they do something. They way womens post birth health is treated as something we must put up with is appalling.

On FB there are pages about this,
The pelvic power movement and APOPS... There's lots of help out there. I'm not sure doctors unless they are experts in it can do much.

You need to push for a referral. Have been suffering for 7 years now, 5 lots of surgery and waiting for 6th but took over 3 years to get correct diagnosis. If I could go back I would be pushy, even pay for one private consultation, which is possible without committing to private treatment. But need referral to correct speciality so need to really talk to Dr.

You have a bowl prolapse and maybe a bladder. Get your go to refer you ASAP. Don't take no for an answer x

Do you eat/drink a lot of dairy? This sounds like me if I consume dairy

[quote Knees90]@Interrobanger Yes. So my second was forceps and it started being issue but covid hit and wasn't able to sort anyone. It wasn't that bad but a bit of an issue. Then got pregnant again, had another birth with stitches etc and now it's so awful

I did read that it won't get better without surgery. Did your surgery totally fix it? Do I have to have private insurance?[/quote]
The surgery hasn’t 100% fixed it but it is so, so much better than it was. Totally worth doing.

I had private health insurance as part of my work benefits package so I was able to get it done that way. But my friend in my NCT group also had a nasty prolapse and she got the same surgery on the NHS. I think she was lucky and had a really good GP.

Go back to your doctor, or find a second opinion and be really pushy.

GPs don't give a shit (no pun intended) about women's post-natal health. They just want to fob you off. You have to be REALLY specific and insistent. Don't use vague terminology, spell out exactly what problems you're having and don't take no for an answer.

Damn it why are women treated so badly?!!! Seriously are second class citizen's medically.

I haven't got this issue but my friend did and she had surgery but she had to push for years. In the end she was afraid to leave the house longer than taking the kids to school. It's gore Sous and not right. This is fixable.
Do NOT be ashamed!
It's your body and has to do so much work.
Get back to another GP and really be specific about the problem. Demand a referral to a clinical specialist.
I'm so sorry OP. It is not just you. You deserve better. Don't suffer in silence.

Can anyone tell me who I should be asking to be referred to? Thanks in advance and sorry OP for jumping on your post

Ask for a referral to a gynaecologist.

Sorry you're suffering OP, you shouldn't have to.

I know this isn't an option for many, but I went to a private woman's health physio after my GP refused to examine me and referred me to a physio who would only do a phone appointment...not helpful for diagnosing prolapse.

Honestly it was the best £80 I've ever spent. She was amazing and did so much to put my mind at ease about everything. She told me mine wasn't as bad as I though but I've opted to be fitted for a pessary anyway just to give me peace of mind. Honestly I cried after the appointment out of relief that someone finally took me seriously and took the time to listen to me and actually tell me what was going on.

My take away from it was that you DO NOT have to suffer - there are many options for women with all kinds of pelvic floor issues. It's shameful that the NHS is so poor on this.

Innovo is a thing I see advertised to help with pelvic floor Exercises.. I haven’t tried it..

Ps people just constantly parroting 'do more pelvic floors' does my head in. Noone bothers to check whether women are doing them properly, they can make things worse if you have too much tension, they're not going to push a prolapsed organ back into its original position.

If anyone is on Instagram, Helen Keeble Physio is a great resource.

I'm so so sorry you're experiencing this but please don't feel ashamed!! It's really common to have all kinds of pelvic floor issues after giving birth. I have bladder prolapse and it's been a difficult journey but I've seen huge improvements. Definitely don't accept what you've heard so far from the health profession. If you're on Instagram I massively recommend following @clarebournephysio. She has loads of really helpful and accessible info. She also does video consultations for £50, which might be a good way of getting decent and caring advice before taking on other providers. I had one with her and it was amazingly helpful.

I'd definitely go back to your GP or ask to see a different one at your surgery.

You shouldn't just have to put up with it.

It infuriates me that women go through birth and get such substandard aftercare.

Hope you get it sorted!

You 100% need a referal and a physio, but if you're worried about doing pelvic floor exercises wrong while waiting an elvie is an internal device that tells you what you're doing and measures progress. I really like mine. Not a substitute for real help but thought I would add.

Thank you so much all. V helfpul.

I did see a private physio at one point who said she didn't think it was that bad from what she could feel BUT it's getting worse and even if she says it's not that bad - what I am experiencing is that bad and impacting how I can live my life.

I thought that if I continue to go down private route - then do I commit to doing surgery privately? E.g. I can afford to see physio as one off (£50 - £80 here and there to actually be able to speak to someone who cares) BUT - I couldn't afford to do the surgery privately so do I need to get that NHS referral I guess?

I will book another GP appointment and if she tells me to eat flax seed I'm going to scream.

After birth of my son where they used forceps - I went to a GP and she literally said 'you don't need me to examine you do you? It sounds like it's all fine down there' - the problems had just started but I said 'Urm, I'm sure it's fine' and she was like 'yep' and looked relived. and then covid hit a month later and i couldn't see anyone for months and months obviously and it just go unbearable. That GP honestly acted like the thought of taking a look was so gross to her. I wish I hadn't been so awkward and insisted on it.

Gosh wow I'm so sorry they have both been so unhelpful and insensitive!! That's definitely not what I have experienced from my GP and I doubt what I have is any more dramatic than yours - from the sounds of it it could be less so. It's really hard to comment without knowing exactly what your issue is but from my own experience I've been able to get massive improvement in my symptoms without needing surgery (I'm currently 16m postpartum after 1st DC). When I first googled it the stuff I found definitely made me feel like surgery was the only real way to get meaningful improvements but for me and my condition that's not the case in reality. It's just a very narrow and unhelpful view of women's health. Just to repeat I 100% recommend speaking to Clare Bourne just to get some helpful and proactive info on what your options could be. Really wishing you all the best of luck!!

If you're on Facebook, join the (private) group FPOPS UK. It's very supportive and there is a wealth of knowledge among the women on there. We are legion!

I experienced prolapse following my forceps delivery. Surgery is certainly not your only option. Finding a good women's health physio is a great place to start. You can always ask for recommendations on the FB group.

You don't have to live like this, but unfortunately it can be a fight to get the right treatment. Good luck