When are you out of 'the trenches'?

[beggingforsleep]

Just that really. I've got a 2.5 and 4.5 year old. The oldest is at school. I work full time so the little one is at nursery.

I still feel like I'm in the trenches. Am I?

I'm thinking 'never'! My eldest are 13 and 15 and they honestly get harder as they get older because they have their own minds and you can't just take them everywhere with you. They never want to go to sleep! I had a newborn when they were 10 and 13 and the baby and toddler stage was a breeze compared to teenagers! They can be really horrible and ungrateful and be embarrassed about you as they get older and that doesn't feel very rewarding. At least babies and toddlers love you! . I thought, maybe when they get to adults and move out, but apparently you never stop worrying and then it's even worse when they're living their own lives and you don't see them. It's a lifetime commitment.

Oh yes and slept through, and got out of my bedroom. Massive gamechanger.

@HelenaJustina I have 15 year old twins 😬 good to hear we might be at peak though

I think it depends on the sort of parent you are though.

I'm the weird sort that actually likes newborns and teenagers.

Can't stand toddlers though.

It depends what your triggers are.

I dont cope will with physical neediness and lack of sleep but cope better with endless worry (weird i know!).

I cope well with my teenager's strops, moodiness and rudeness. To me they are understandable on some level. Toddlers are irrational and totally incomprehensible!

@AlphaJura tweens and teenagers are embarrassed by you, but you have that power in your arsenal

Toddlers on the other hand embarrass you, and don't give a shit!

I have 4 under 10 and feel as though I'm very nearly out of them! My 2.5 year old is potty trained, more reliable with sleep, can talk and we have pretty much ditched the buggy. It will get harder again when he drops his nap, but by this time next year I'll be laughing.

To me, in the trenches means needing a massive amount of physical personal care and grunt work.

Mine are 17 & 15. The years from about 6 to 12 were lovely. From 13 - 16: def back in the trenches. The 17 year old is lovely again now, but the worries are different. I worry about them drinking too much, taking drugs, vaping. In many ways I found the early years easier. I found it much easier to be consistent and calm.

As for teens - girl, 16, a relative dream, boy, 18, I'm amazed I'm not bald the amount of hair pulling I've done....

I always felt 3 was a turning point . Or when you can go for a pub lunch and don't need to take a rucksack full of distractions

@WhiteXmas99

Trenches 0-3/4

Golden Years 4-12

Aerial War 13-18/19/20/21

Peace 21+

This covers it. With my DC age ranges I find myself in a multiverse of these all at once 😂

I'm amazed by all the people rating 3 yo. Three year olds are actual sodding goblins. I would have happily skipped 3 yo altogether.

Mine are 6 and 8. It’s the sweet spot.

Dd is 7 and I just feel like we've got to a point where we're stable. And now I'm pregnant 🙃 The trenches are never ending!

@Einsteinsong no multiples here but if it’s any consolation, 4 girls in 6 years!

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal

I'm amazed by all the people rating 3 yo. Three year olds are actual sodding goblins. I would have happily skipped 3 yo altogether.

Agreed! 3 has definitely not been a turning point for us. We're in the thick of tantrums, attitude, wanting independence but not at the same time, not sleeping well, still needing help with toileting, and did I mention the tantrums?! When do they stop bloody screaming??

I love her dearly but counting down the months until she's 4. And starting school. I'm sure my 6 year old got a lot easier when she started school. Now she's a delight, apart from when her sister gets involved.