Tired mum after advice baby won't sleep in cot

[dancingqueen03]

Hi everyone I'm wondering if anyone could give me and tips or just tell me it does get better

Abit of background - this is my first child so everything along the way has just been a guessing game etc my son will be 1 this month and up until December was a very good sleeper

We moved him into his own room at 8 months old and he took to it to a duck in water he started to sleep through some nights some nights he would wake for his dummy then go back off

But that's now all changed he fell very ill in December with bronchitis & and ear infection so with this he had a high fever and was being sick I couldn't leave him son his room so I brought him into our bed to keep an eye on him and it gave us some sleep in a tough time

But now he's better I can't for the life of me get him to sleep in his cot past 12 🥲 Iv tried everything by sitting next to his cot, stroking his hand, pat on the bum Iv even picked him up (which he does normally fall back off this way) but the minute you place him back down he's awake and we are back to square 1

I work and it's causing us all to have bad nights and even I can tell he's extra tired in the day

Has anyone experienced this and know any tips to help? Any advice I'd greatly appreciate I'm just a tired desperate mum now

I think all babies go through stages of struggling to sleep. Our Ds didn't sleep through at all until he was 1 years old.

It does get better I can promise you that your DS has had a spell again of being with mummy and waking up with you there , now he needs to get used to you not being there and that being ok and him going back to sleep. He is still so tiny, for me, I would just keep going to him when he needs you.

Decide a method you are happy with and stick with it, IMO consistency is key in all things with our Little ones, so when he cries go to him and hold his hand or keep tapping him on the bum or whatever method you choose to sooth him, but stick with that. Don't pick him up one night for cuddles then refuse the next, or hold his hand a few night then cuddle him the next, choose your method stick with it and just ride it out.

There are other methods if you choose them, which I'm sure more people will come along and advise you of, I can't as I chose not to use them I.e controlled crying etc.

It does get better ❤️‍🩹

@thinkbiglittkeone thank you for getting back to me 🙂

I think I'll stick with what you said go in consistently with 1 method I'm probably make him more confused 😐 it's just so hard when your that tired but I know it will get better

My first DS never liked his cot, would have to put him in asleep, the cot was in our room. He would sleep for about 6 hours at the most. We ended up getting a little bed and put it next to ours and up against the wall, so very safe. This worked for us and he slept all night and actually stayed in our room till he was about 4 years old. He had his own room and one day decided he wanted to sleep there. My second DS was the opposite, loved his cot and his sleep and slept in cot until he learned how to climb out and jump over the top at 2 years old.

My DS was like this and was waking 6+ times a night and would end up back in bed with us up until 1 yr old. At 13 months I was so exhausted so HV said keep normal routine but sit in the room with DS until he falls asleep. Say night night and if crying reassuring words a little hug but dont pick him up. If hes not crying or upset etc just be quiet and let them fall asleep on their own.
It took a good few weeks and up to 2hrs some times but it worked and now DS falls asleep within 10-20mins for nap and bedtime and when he wakes at night he knows how to resettle himself without us and sleeps 12hrs. Honestly its life changing.
It was exhausting but the consistency worked and he doesnt sleep in our bed anymore.

I really hope you find something that works for you and your little one.

@abbs1 I never thought of sitting in there I normally just left him fall asleep on me with a bottle at the moment but I might try that tonight? Did you feed your son then put him in his cot when he was wide awake?

[quote dancingqueen03]@abbs1 I never thought of sitting in there I normally just left him fall asleep on me with a bottle at the moment but I might try that tonight? Did you feed your son then put him in his cot when he was wide awake? [/quote]
So we were doing bottle and letting him fall asleep on us but then as soon as we'd move he'd wake up crying. The HV said to put him in his cot awake but stay in the room. We'd also been leaving the room trying the cry it out method but it broke my heart seeing him cry for us so we stopped after 2 nights as he cried for too long.

So we changed to bath, pjs, milk, cuddles and then put him in his cot awake said night night, lights out so its as dark as possible and then just sat there while he put himself to sleep. He would cry and reach for us so we just reassured him, held his hand through the cot bars and he calmed down. He then laid himself down and fell asleep. He has a tommee tippee breathable elephant toy which he goes to sleep with which helps a lot.
It took a good few weeks of persistance and was knackering but its paid off big time. When he woke in the night same thing. Dont pick him up just reassurance its night night sleepy time and sat there until he went back to sleep.
Since 14 months hes been sleeping basically 12 hours a night and 1 hr nap in the day. He knows his routine so hes expecting it all to happen which helps a lot as well. When we say nap time or bedtime he runs straight to the stair gate and is ready to sleep. No tantrums and crying anymore.

Get the cot smelling of you might help. Gross, yes, but get his bedsheets and give them a good run around your underarms, neck, underboob etc
Give him a somewhat 'ripe' t shirt to snuggle and see if that helps.
Make sure he's toasty warm (will have been warmer in bed with you) so run his bath a bit hotter and put a hot water bottle on his mattress and remove half a second before putting him down. See how you feel about leaving it in next to him (not sure on the safety 'rules' of that one but I did it) .

Good luck