Ruined my life? Advice please!- young mum

[accidentlygothereagain]

I was told due to severe malnutrition from an eating disorder, and extra hormonal factors that I would be infertile. This was in 2016. I fell pregnant last year and now have a beautiful baby girl.

I love her so so much, I am in a good place with my partner in terms of security and finances, (he earns a decent wage and we have savings)

I hear everyday that having children young is 'ruining your life', and I guess I just feel scared. Obviously I've been more restricted since she's been born but isn't that natural?

I'm not sure what I'm looking for here other than some reassurance that my life isn't ruined ...

If you're enjoying life then of course it isn't ruined.

Just make sure you're protected if your relationship goes tits up. I mean in terms of financial security etc.

I had my son when I was 18 (not planned) and it has been the opposite. I went back to Uni and got qualifications when he started school. I was able to work around his school times and had loads of energy. Now he is grown and married and I’m still young enough to do stuff - travel, have quality ‘me’ time, concentrate on career advancement, go out, have fun! I would say having him you MADE my life. I would not have had the drive to succeed if I had not had to make sure he was ok too.

What rubbish!

Congratulations.

How old are you?

Having children isn't ruining your life if you are happy. There are benefits to having children young such as still being young when they are teenagers and enjoying life with them.

I think it would be a good idea to think about your career and to make sure that you are protected money wise should the relationship fail.

No of course not, but think about what you will do once kids at school.

You haven’t! Everyone told me your life is over now… it started the day my baby was born. Congratulations.

Your life is certainly different once you have kids but don't let others tell you what your life is like.

Drink in the good times as raising children is challenging but I've found it brings a lot of joy into my life. I hope the same for you.

...and who the heck said this to you? What exactly is a ruined life? Maybe if you'd been imprisoned for murdering someone but 'ruining' your life is pretty extreme

You said you have a beautiful baby girl, are in a secure and good partnership. What is not to like?

Enjoy the love that surrounds you, and the love you give your child and DP. Ignore the rest.

Seriously!

Theres no sych thing as a right age to have a baby, ignore any nasty comments and crack on with living your life...... I was a young mum 23 years ago. Im still with my partner, the house we bought early to give our dc security is paid off... We live a perfectly normal life.

My mother used to say having children ruins your life. But she also says everyone should have children…. I think what people mean is you can’t go back. You will now always be a mum and that will affect what you can do and when. But it doesn’t literally ruin your life. Just changes it.

And if what you are doing is not what someone else would do, who cares? You are happy and that is all that matters. Horses for courses and all that.

You haven't ruined your life. Life changes irrevocably once you have a baby, whatever age you are. Older parents have a longer period of freedom before parenthood. A younger mother like yourself will hopefully have more freedom once your child is an adult. Your peers may be knee-deep in nappies/school runs when you wave yourself off to Uni, work etc
I had my first at 18, last at 27 and now at 48 have my home completely to myself and can do what I like within reason.
My friend of simliar age is doing battle with her adored and very active 4 yr old, and whilst she's obviously in love with her LO, she's on her knees. I can have my GC for the day then collapse with a cuppa, knowing that the 24/7 grind is long behind me.
Raising kids is a long old slog, I think I did it the right way round for myself. And you may well be the same so do not let anyone dent your confidence and give the doom mongers short shrift.

As long as you keep working and having hobbies. Once there's pause in your work history, it makes life hard if your spouse gives himself more say in decisions because he's the breadwinner.

Best thing that ever happened to me was having my daughter young at 20. Life is amazing when you become a mum.
My advice is meet up with other mums with babies, go to baby classes etc.
You will make life long mum friends.
And stop listening to others, embrace your new beautiful life and show them all that they have no clue of what they are saying. Let them see that you have a happy life and it's far from ruined, op. It's only beginning x

I'm always a bit slow with these kind of posts. Is it an actual question and you really are this [I'm trying to think of a nice way to put it] worried? Or is it a parody, some kind of satire? Or just a humble-braggy way of telling us you had a miracle baby?

Congratulations and no of course you haven’t ruined your life, you have the exact same opportunity and possibilities, you just have a little person alongside you