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Parenting

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Fallen out with MIL

32 replies

Newboymummy · 06/01/2022 19:32

Me and my mother in law have had a big falling out over my baby. She's always telling me and my partner to go to her house with our little boy, if we say we're busy she gets mardy about it, for example last weekend she asked if we was going to hers and we said we didn't know as had other plans - later that day she messaged and asked why we didn't go and my partner told her we had a lot of other stuff to do and we just wanted to be home, she then got moody, bear in my mind she lives a walk away and could easily come to ours but she doesn't, she then went onto say she will have our baby for us and we both said we don't need you to but thanks anyway - she replied and said "well do it all yourself then" and said our baby won't know any of them (partners side of the family) if we don't leave him for a few hours which we have a few times already with her, I told her he will know them as they see him through visiting but only mainly when we make the effort to take him for people to see him, nobody hardly offers to come to ours it's always us going to them.. once when we were going to pick him up from her she sounded very mardy about us going to get him and said to us "just get him later" - I was made to feel as though I couldnt go get my own child without upsetting her. Back to last weekend - she said he will end up a spoilt mardy child - all this because I don't feel the need to be away from him, he's a very well behaved baby and I don't feel the need to be away from him if I don't need to be, I confronted her over the phone about how she's interfering and making me feel down because this isn't the first time she's been this way with me - she told me to f* off and called me a silly cow. Later on my partner said to her I was willing to talk things out but she said she didn't want to and that we will never get on when it comes to my baby. I've been made to feel daft for wanting my son with me and not wanting her to have him all the time. I just don't know how things will ever be the way they used to be.

OP posts:
sjxoxo · 07/01/2022 04:31

There’s endless threads on mn with the same MIL behaviour- it’s so predictable and just ridiculous. Why is it that so many women who become MILs behave like this? Mine is the same and I am on eggshells waiting for her to blow up and take offence because we don’t do the things she wants us to do. It’s exhausting and counterproductive even to the very things she wants to achieve- a close relationship with GC. It pushes everyone away. My own MIL puts herself above my mum and dad and forces ‘help’ when not required and then gets offended when you say no thanks. My son is due any day now & I’ve sworn when he is married or has a girlfriend I will do everything to make her feel welcome and be friends first rather than your typical MIL! Op all you can do is be civil and limit your contact with her as much as possible. xo

jamandmarmaladethesecondcoming · 07/01/2022 04:58

A situation created and ended entirely by MIL.

She's shot herself in the foot behaving like a 'mardy spoilt brat'.

You have dodged a massive bullet. Do nothing.

NearlyAHoarder · 07/01/2022 07:49

She told you to fuck off and said you're a silly cow?

Wow.

I agree. do Nothing.

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Babydust13 · 07/01/2022 12:03

[quote toomuchlaundry]@BlueberryLane if you want to see more of your grandchildren you tend to have to be nice to the parents of the children[/quote]
100% true

IncompleteSenten · 07/01/2022 12:09

Leave her to her sulk
When she stops pouting, invite her to yours to see the baby.
When she tantrums about that, say we're inviting you over to ours for a while. If you want to see your grandchild you will make the effort

Then leave her to it. She either sulks or she gets over herself.

Anyone sticks their beak in you say she's been told she's very welcome to come over. She's choosing not to. 🤷‍♀️

Hollywolly1 · 07/01/2022 18:30

This is just sooo outrageous and you are the baby's mother and its perfectly natural to want to spend all your time with your little one.what is wrong with these people, they reared their kids their way now its your turn and absolutely do not let anyone make you feel quilts for spending time with your babyFlowersfor you

jamandmarmaladethesecondcoming · 07/01/2022 21:18

p.s she seems to have forgotten that you are the one who is the mother to your baby.

''The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world''......

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