How to make bedtime / naptime routine work

[AliveAndSleeping]

Ds is 5 months old now and I think it's time to start some sort of sleep time routine. So far I've been feeding him to sleep, which works quite well in the night (if it's after 8pm he just WANTS to sleep) but his day time naps have been terribly irregular.

In the evening we have some sort of routine: I massage his legs, change him, put him in the sleeping bag, reduce the lighting and then first breastfeed and then bottle feed him. I'm thinking of introducing a book as well..

I know I'm meant to do the routine and then out him into his cot when he is still awake but how does that work? The Moment I put him in his cot (if he's tired but awake) he wakes up and won't go to sleep. How do I make him associate the routine with sleeping?

Also, do you use a routine for naps? Currently he only naps on the breast or when someone is holding him and walking. The Moment we put him in his cot he wakes up. Sometimes, rarely, he'll sleep for ten or twenty minutes and then wake up and won't go to bed again. How do I make him nap without that?

Finally how do you stay on any kind of schedule when you have an older (5 in our case) around?

He’s five months old, absolutely tiny. None of mine would nap properly til they were over 12 months old.. they napped on me or in the pram on a walk before that age.
Putting babies down awake never worked for me.. they cry! My honest view is they are tiny for such a short time.. feed your baby to sleep, hold then for naps and put your feet up. Creating false routines will only stress you out and them!

The problem is I've got an older child so can't indefinitely spend an hour or longer every two hours for him to have a nap on me while breastfeeding. Also, I think he's just not getting enough sleep this way. He stays awake far longer than he should and if he does sleep it's interrupted. He's getting more and more upset about it.

I understand your pain, I’m just sharing my experience (three kids). At five months they barely napped during the day unless being held/in the pram. I didn’t create that, they just took very short sleeps or cried when put down. I decided to just go with it and not worry.. to
Minimise their tears and mine!
I took my eldest kids out and let them nap while we were on a walk/did stuff. I did lower my house standards as it is difficult to do everything

Consistency is key I have found. For naps with DS I would put him in a sleeping bag, read a book then in the cot with his comforter. This would also be at the same time(s) each day.

I'm working on it with DD at the moment. Morning nap is a bit more relaxed as we can be out and a about so she'll nap in the pram/car etc but afternoon nap is the mini routine. I've got a smaller age gap so DS still has an afternoon nap as well.

I think the age that they can start to self settle is totally individual to the child but I've found it's all about getting the right timing for DD and she'll nod off no problem. Too early or late and she's just not interested.

Feeding to sleep is biologically normal and in my experience some babies will do this for longer no matter what and as above, we need to have lower expectations of them and us.

Thanks everyone for the inputs. So has no one been able to make a bedtime routine work for them? Thought it's just me..

I've fed/cuddle both of mine to sleep until around 1 and then sleep trained them to get to sleep themselves. We have a routine but no one told my children it was meant to be relaxing 😆

Naps for DC2 have mostly been on the hoof a lot of the time - he's a significantly better sleeper overall than his sibling so I'm probably more relaxed. When he was that age he'd usually have decent sleeps in the buggy or sling while we were out but then his shorter ones in the cot or on me.

I have a 5 month old. She’s had a good bed time routine since about 3 months. Between 6-8 I take her to bed. Every other night we have a bath first. Then bottle, wind, dummy and cuddle in bed to sleep (we cosleep).

Naps I just go with what she wants. She tends to have 2 a day, one mid morning and one mid afternoon. She naps on me otherwise it only lasts 15 mins or so. I have a horse and dog to sort out too so she also might nap in the car on the way to the stables or in pushchair whilst walking the dog.

I feed and cuddle to sleep and plan on doing so until she is ready to not. Mum did the same with me and my siblings.

Feeding and cuddling to sleep with music and low lights after pyjamas on is my routine and working well for me at 6 months. I sometimes get raised eyebrows from other mums when it comes up but I love it! I just do less housework and embrace mess. I can't put baby down or she wakes so I hold her.