How long will I struggle for creative time.

[Suni428]

Hi to all the beautiful mums out there. I became mum a year ago...I am happy ..however I have a query = realistically at what age do babies become independent for mum to have some me time.
I understand every baby is different and parenting style also. But I am just looking for your personal view - when did you finally started getting time to do your own creative stuff.

I am a sculpture and this requires great deal of time to come up with idea and then to execute it. however since I have become parent I am not able to pursue my StuFF. I am not complaining but I am hoping some day I will be able to .so I am writing this Query - Please let me know at what age realistically a child becomes independent enough, so that a parent can give a good chunk of time to themselves happily?

I'm a writer and it was when my baby was 3 that I got some time back. That was because she started nursery and also slept better and could entertain herself more.

@FortunesFave

I'm a writer and it was when my baby was 3 that I got some time back. That was because she started nursery and also slept better and could entertain herself more.

@FortunesFave, Thank you so much for the answers!!! It is like a light you have shown to me

What can you get done in the evenings or when she naps? I don’t know anything about sculpture but assume you can’t start and stop much?

DD is 2 and I have a small business which I make creative stuff for and I write as well. Both things I can pick up and put down but I tend to plan work for evenings and weekends when my husband is around.

She can play for good chunks of time by herself, loves to have a sit down with a pile of books, plays with her kitchen or just potters around talking to herself etc. But the second I have a deadline she doesn’t want to do anything but hang off me, go for endless wees, have a cuddle or bang her hands on my laptop…

It’s a constant balancing act.

It depends how much time you need. 30 - 60 mins here and there, maybe 3ish? But that is very child dependent - a lot of 3 yo couldn’t cope with that. If it’s something that needs hours of concentration, then a lot later than that.

Are you a SAHM? Would a day of outsourcing childcare be possible? That would probably be your best bet.

I got my evenings back when my DD started going to bed earlier at 7:30pm which was around a year and a bit. Essentially when she dropped her second nap and went to one.

She's very good though in that she plays independently quite happily in general.

I had a little smile at “ I am a sculpture “ 🙂

I do watercolours and do it when they're napping or at nursery. Bit simpler than sculpting though. Pregnant with my 3rd and assuming I won't get to do much for the first year just because rest will take priority, but having said that I did do lots of short projects eg quilts, photo albums etc at the weekends when mine were little. DH obviously looking after the kids.

Oh also I did teach some cake dec classes when DS2 was 4-12 months but that again was weekends.

When I put him in nursery.

At 7-8 they are getting to the point where you can work with them in the house and awake for more than 2 mins.

My children are 3 and 5 and I can pursue hobbies now.

This is a really good question op and it really depends on how many kids you have and support. I have 3 DC's around two and half years apart so for years I was pregnant and bf and had babies and toddlers etc. I had two really terrible sleepers, years not months and they were all extremely active once moving ( which made doing anything very difficult). We have no family support and we had loads of house projects , renovations while bringing up small kids.
My youngest is 5 now and I'm only getting back into painting. Due to being sleep deprived for so long I was just exhausted and we had so much else going on tbh.

However on the plus side my dcs all play together and the last few weeks I have sat and done some pieces while they were all around playing together( I couldn't imagine this a year ago).
My DH and I very much free each other up so at weekends one of us might head out with all 3 leaving one to do some projects and me to have some creative time.
The early years were tough though as I simply didn't have a second and was exhausted, one of my 3 dc is pretty hard work too so it was v v full on.
I have to say I am so relieved it's still in me. At 37 I am back running everyday and back to setting up a studio again after 9 years and it feels pretty amazing. So to answer, it really depends on how many kids as you had to go through all the phases with each one and support around you.

Totally depends on the child and what support you have, other responsibilities ... and what length of time you need for yourself?

My DS was an exceptionally good sleeper, 7am-7pm plus two two hour naps a day ... so I had plenty of time to do whatever I wanted when he slept, also my DH took full responsibility at weekends (I mix fed) so I would also get a full day to myself.

But if my DS hadn't been a good sleeper or I had a less supportive DH, more than one child, a relative needing care etc etc it would have been completely different.

Tbh for me evenings were very tricky as for years I would be dealing with numerous night wakes even with older DC's and so I had to prioritise any sleep I could get. Now I am up at 6 am everyday and going all day until 8/9 pm so am totally wreaked. I need a good few hours to work and to be in that creative space so weekends are great when DH goes out with them.

Yes @Ragwort is absolutely right , I have a very supportive dh ( we have no family support at all) but had two very bad sleepers for a long time so that meant years. Having multiple children also hugely different to having one as regards time.

Probably just whenever they go to nursery / school!

My eldest is 5.5yrs - I still struggle to be able to do my own work/hobbies for more than, say, 25min blocks without him needing me to entertain him. He went to nursery from 18m but I was working at that time so that didn't give me my 'me' time to do my own creative hobbies.

I now have a little baby too so assume I'll have no time for ages.

Both kids go to bed at 7pm though so I do have evenings but I actually need the evenings to do general household stuff, like shopping, cleaning, cooking, life admin and (hopefully) spend a bit of time relaxing!

My youngest is 2 and I can work around her now because she’s entertained by her big brother.

I find it is better for me mentally to get myself fully into the zone of being a parent when they are small. If I’m thinking about all the creative things I could be doing instead, I start to feel a bit restless and impatient and resentful and then sad and guilty, so I just switch it off and devote myself to them until they become more independent.

Hi,
Thank you for the replies..
I understand now that it is subjective and I need to keep my cool. Time will come for sure.

Warm regards to all.