I shouted at my 11mo

[Jcmummy32]

I’m a FTM and DS is 11mo now. He’s SUCH a good baby but today I was sooo tired and he would not sleep and I shouted his name as loud as I could over his cot. It’s the first time I’ve ever done it and after I shouted he jumped out of fright and just lay there staring into space.

I feel just horrible. He seems so subdued now he’s up from his nap and I’m worried he remembers me shout and it’s going to affect him.

Am I being silly? Everytime I look at him now I feel overwhelming guilt.

I'm pretty sure it's not going to have any negative effect on him. Please don't worry about it but if you do just give him lots and lots of cuddles. He'll be fine. Tiredness does horrible things to us and I know how frustrating it is if they just won't sleep. I hope you can get some rest soon!!

Agree with PP. Lots of cuddles. I'm sure you're smashing motherhood!

He won't remember it but I would see if someone you trust (mom, sibling etc) could watch your son so you can maybe have some sleep. I've been in a similar situation but screamed into a pillow instead and no fun when your ill and baby was up all night at the time.

It wasn’t great and I’m not going to pretend it was. But learn from it, please don’t shout at your baby again, and move forwards.

It does sound like you scared him from his behaviour. I do think it’s right that you feel guilty as it wasn’t a good thing to do. But it’s what you do in the future that matters most.

I think you're being a bit harsh @BurbageBrook

OP You're probably sleep deprived. Try to catch more naps

@Jcmummy32 sending love. Parenting is bloody tough at times. I remember at NCT talking about how if you ever felt rage to put baby down safely and walk away. At the time thinking how could you ever feel like that towards your baby? Cue 8 months down the line. Severe sleep deprivation. Totally isolated thanks to covid I remember horrible one night I was up for the 9th time that night trying to settle my DS and I felt really angry with him. I put him down carefully and walked out of the room and shut the door. Burst into tears because I couldn't believe that I had that anger in me when holding my baby. I was so upset for a good few days. DS was obviously none the wiser.

You've recognised that it's not ideal but don't beat yourself up. Your DS won't remember. Try and get some support so yo can get some rest. Sleep deprivation is a genuine form of torture.

@BurbageBrook Thanks - I know shouting wasn’t ideal and I already said I feel horribly guilty. I thought this forum was for support and for sharing similar experiences so we could help each other - not re enforcing how terrible we already feel.

When i get like this its usually because im feeling very tired of over whelmed, you're not a bad parent, try and get some time for you in , i know its hard, I have a 5 month old and a 3.5 old, there was a time when I was poorly and having a particularly shitty day,my son was a few months old and I shouted at him to shut up :( he is a sweet boy now and doesn't remember a thing, I take each day as it comes but find I still shout sometimes! Parenting is hard!