Breastfeeding and starting nursery

[Noona86]

Looking for some advice about this topic as I have a baby who is just over 11 months and will be starting nursery two days a week in 4 weeks. She has only got the beginnings of one tooth coming through and I have been giving her three meals a day for a while but she never eats much. Mostly plays with it and it mostly ends up on the floor. I’m still breastfeeding her a lot in day and she wakes up about 4 times a night and is often up at 5.45 after a 7.30 bedtime. I always feed her back to sleep at night. Have tried the don’t offer don’t refuse method in day to see if she’ll eat more solids but she grabs manically at my top alllll the time! I’m just worried about a) my sleep and b) how she will cope all day at nursery when she still breastfeeds so much and whether I will suffer physically if I don’t reduce feeding a lot (and if she doesn’t start eating more solids) before she starts nursery. Should I just keep doing what I’m doing or should I be trying something else? Am starting to feel like breastfeeding is the easiest solution at night to get her back to sleep but like it’s a cycle I really want to get out of and like it’s all on me - if my partner goes in at night she just screams. Ideally I’d like to at least night wean but just seems so unlikely it wouldn’t be hell?! Every time she wakes up in night or from nap or in morn she screams until I feed her 😩 Can’t imagine how to ‘get out’ of this routine and feeling very tired after nearly a year of so many wake ups at night! And suggestions appreciated.

Just to help you with coping when you're back at work, I'd start some gentle night weaning now. It's not normally recommended until they're 1 but I think it would be better to start now than wait until you're at work and she has the transition of going to Nursery.

One thing I did in the day was to only feed in one chair, and then try never sit there, if you can help it.

Give up the day feeding first- for your own comfort express a little. Do you want to introduce cows milk at a year?

It might be worth giving one if the BFing Helplines a call today as well. They should help you to come up with a plan

My boy started nursery when he was 1 and I was a bit worried about the breastfeeding. I started offering normal milk in his tommie tippie which he was already drinking water out of. I'd offer regular milk before a normal feed eg. Before naps, bedtime and when he woke in the morning. I'd still offer boob afterwards but it started to shift things towards taking milk from the beaker, and meant he was ok to take milk from the tommiee tippie at nursery.

After a few weeks he was only on the boob for a minute or so at a time, just got less and less interested. I thought it was quite a nice was to ohase it out.

That sounds exhausting you poor thing! If you want to change things there will be tears but at the end of it you will get more sleep, your baby will get more sleep and will eat more solids as at the moment your baby is having a lot of overnight calories... I'd recommend the Lucy wolfe baby sleep solution or a sleep consultant. It helped me go from feeding back to sleep every two hours to having a baby sleep through the night. My baby slept through within three nights of night weaning, the night feeds weren't actually helping him sleep as I thought but actually disturbing it... He now eats a lot more solids and has grown noticeably since we've done the training.
I felt guilty about the night weaning but felt I had no choice as I'm going back to work, and actually it's been the best choice for both of us.
Good luck!

They adapt, don’t worry.
I was still BF when DD started nursery at 13 months, she didn’t have cows milk as she wouldn’t touch it. She just had water at nursery.
I fed before nursery, at pick up and several times in evening and overnight if she woke. On non nursery days we fed on demand still although she naturally wanted less. I kept BF to 26 months, it was fine.

My first went to nursery at 10’months and was still bf all the time. They had expressed milk in a bottle then cup as they got older until about 14 months when they switched to cows milk. I would express at work to stop my boobs exploding and then send that in the next day in labelled containers.
I always fed to sleep to, but it’s amazing how quickly they adapt, dc1 would still feed to sleep on me but slept well at nursery being rocked/patted.
Don’t feel this is the end of bf for you, I managed to feed until dc1 was 2.4 and only stopped because I was getting too pregnant to get them over my bump comfortably

My DS is 6 months and I'm thinking ahead to when he goes to nursery . I get up every 2-3 hours now (on a good night) and its doable but I think o will need him sleeping when I'm working

PPs suggestion of only feeding in a certain chair is a good one

I was also going to say maybe your DD won't be as bothered about BF when she is at nursery as you will not be there and she will be occupied. I find DS can go longer between feeds if keeping busy.

I was hoping by the time I go to work it will sort itself out but I realise that might not be the case

Good luck OP

@Noona86 the calm and bright sleep support ladies on Instagram saved us, they do plans but their free support was enough for us. They’re very pro breastfeeding and Gem (one of the 2 directors) is a paediatric nurse so can help with things like nutrition.

Agree with @Megan2018, they adapt.
My DS is 15 months and would breastfeed all day when we’re at home if I let him! He's at a childminders 3 days a week and is absolutely fine. I feed before drop off and then at pick up (and a few times over night usually ), the rest of the week I feed on demand

Thank you all for taking the time to respond. It’s encouraging to hear about other babies being adaptable! And some good tips and suggestions, thank you. My fear is I’ve been very much using a ‘path of least resistance’ approach (after some failed battles earlier on) - feeding back to sleep, every nap is a contact nap etc, that the transition from lots of day time feeding and sleeping on me to being away from her between 8 - 6 feels like it’s going to be quite an extreme transition. Just unsure what level of battle-having i should aim for in the hope it will make the change smoother ahead of time, or whether to just assume it will iron out when she starts! I’m really looking forward to getting back to work but also feeling really scared and like I’m abandoning her without her food source! Will try and implement some suggestions above. I really would like to reduce breastfeeding but carry on a bit longer with fewer feeds. Just can’t actually imagine a time when it won’t be the go-to solution for so many things! It feels like a blessing and a curse for me at the moment

Honestly I was so worried leaving DS2 (pandemic baby who’d never been away from me!). When at home he still contact naps and we co-sleep. They find other ways at nursery/childminder to get them to sleep and comfort them. DS was hardly eating any proper food (as he would rather breastfeed) but since being at the childminder he has started eating more and more, and now he’s walking his appetite seems to have naturally increased as well! Try not to worry (easier said than done I know!)

Thank you! This is reassuring. Sounds like it might be me who finds it harder than her!

For the day I don't think you need to do anything. They will adapt quickly. I went back full-time when my first was younger and she was breastfeeding all day long. She just got comfort from cuddles at the childminder's and started drinking more water and eating more food. She fed more at night for a bit - I coped by co-sleeping so I got enough sleep. She dropped the night feeds after a couple of months. I didn't have to stop breastfeeding or introduce any other milk. I fed just twice a day after 12 months.

Hello, my little one also started nursery at 11 months whilst I was still breastfeeding. I fed her before she went in and at weekends I expressed milk and froze it, so she could have a defrosted beaker of breast milk whilst there. I then fed her again when I picked her up. I also expressed at work on the days she was at nursery, just once was enough. I breastfed her through the night until she was 2. So you can absolutely keep up the breastfeeding whilst she’s at nursery and you will find that she might adapt quite well watching the other children eating etc. and nursery will have their own ways to get your little one to sleep, and their own routines, which worked for my child when I didn’t believe it would! as for the night feeding, if it’s not working for you that is a completely valid reason to start night weaning. It’s so hard to work after no sleep. It will be tough at first - I gradually reduced feeding over about 3 months, getting it down to once a day before bedtime before stopping completely.