Tips for leaving toddler at another house overnight

[KL92xxxx]

My 21mo is a delight, he truly is awesome in every way, but sleep has always been a struggle for him. I’ve made peace with it and that’s just who he is and it’ll resolve eventually etc.

So he’s obviously almost 2 and he’s never stayed overnight with anyone else due to him being unsettled overnight. We’re coming up to a big birthday for his dad later on this year when our toddler will be 25 months.

It might sound selfish, but I’m desperate to go on a night out, it’s been almost 3 years since my last one. I have no idea how or if this will ever be possible so I was hoping for tips.

We have a close family member who always offers to have him overnight so we already have a volunteer. However I feel like it’ll be awfully unfair for them and toddler as I’m worried he’ll be really upset and they’ll just despair with him. My partner says we should just let them have trial runs and if it goes terribly wrong we can go pick toddler up but I don’t know if the whole thing is just a bad idea.

Anyone else been in the same situation or have any tips?

If the close family member has had babies of their own and has offered in the knowledge that DS isn’t a good sleeper, then it won’t be unfair for them. They’ll know what they are letting themselves in for!

As for DS…I suppose it depends what you mean by being unsettled overnight. Does he only fall asleep in your bed, with you for example? Does he go down easily but wake up loads? Does he know the relative really well?

At the end of the day, even if he doesn’t go to sleep until he crashes in the early hours of the morning, one night won’t be a disaster. On the other hand, kids have a surprising capacity for doing things differently with different people and he might just pleasantly surprise you!

Wanting a night out isn’t selfish at all and you should go, if you think you’ll enjoy it!

Ime awful sleepers aren't always awful when with other people!! My dgc slept through here from 5 months. Didn't elsewhere!

As long as he knows the person he is staying with well it will be fine. One unsettled night isn't going to harm anyone, and if you make sure he stays for at least the afternoon as well, it's likely he'll be so warn out with the excitement of it all, he'll sleep without any problems.

I also have a 21 month old who hasn't stayed overnight with anyone else yet but has been babysat while we've gone out so other people have put her to bed. In my limited experience (less than 5 occasions) she has always slept better when someone else has put her to bed. It's like she knows I'm not an option so sleeps better haha.

The only "issues" we've experienced was that she didn't quickly settle in the same way she does with us, so on two occasions grandparents just let her fall to sleep on the sofa and then transfer to her bed, more recently she has settled in her bed like she would for me or my DH.

Obviously all these occasions were in our house so it was more familiar, she has slept in other people's houses but it's always been us that's settled her there so I can't comment on how she's would be there.

If the person you know is generally calm and patient I wouldn't hesitate. Just tell them your routine but make it clear that they change it if it doesn't work for them, one night falling asleep on the sofa won't hurt if that's the only way.

Enjoy your night out !

Sounds perfect. You have a willing baby sitter, time for trial runs and the option to pick up if you need to...but you won't need to. Do it and then enjoy your night out

I'd just go for it. You'll probably find it harder then he will. DD was a crap sleeper for us but always has a good sleep with her grandparents (probably because their house is hotter than the sun). Last time they slept over I walked in and both my kids looked upset I'd come to get them.

If it's someone who knows how his sleep is and is prepared to have him then go for it. My sil is going to have our nightmare sleeper in a couple months when we go to a wedding. She said if she's up all night, needs to sleep in with her etc it doesn't matter for one night, she'll have a nap once we've picked baby up, or have an early night. I'd go and make the most of it!

DS is 2.7 and not slept at anyone else’s house yet but we’ve had a couple of nights out and nights away with grandma at our house. We thought he’d be best staying in as close to normal routine as possible, in his normal environment. He was a bit fussy at bed time, asking where we were but did settle ok and slept through.
Is having someone come to your house a possibility?

I would definitely try it, my 3 year old has recently had her first sleepover and I was absolutely dreading it as shes a shocking sleeper and always ends up in with me at some point. She was fine and slept through, couldn't believe it! I know yours is younger but I would have done this much much earlier if not for covid and lack of volunteers! Good luck