AITA

[Tootirednow]

It’s 3am and I’m fuming! My lb (5) is scared of the dark. It’s quite a recent thing. Not sure what’s brought it on but it’s normal. My Husband sleeps on the side of the bed closest to the door. He mentioned the other night that lb has started waking him up during the night to go to the toilet with him. He has to pass the bathroom to come to our room. I then ordered some sensored night lights for both the passage and the bathroom and just waiting for them to arrive. Tonight I was woken with my lb asking his dad to come with him and husband refusing and telling him to go himself. Lb has then stood in our doorway and wet himself. Husband is furious and blaming our lb but I think he is totally in the wrong! Lb was crying and embarrassed that he had wet himself. Husband should have just gotten up and took him to the toilet! He’s 5 and scared of the dark! Do you think my husband is in the wrong? Or would you expect your child to just go alone? My husband always says I’m too soft with him but I think he is too hard on him and expects too much for a 5yr old!
I have now told my son to come wake me when he needs a wee and I’ll go with him. Hopefully lights will be delivered on Tuesday after the bank holiday.

He knows the lights are coming, he could have done it for a couple more nights.

When you saw he wasn't going to get up and take your son, why didn't you?

To be honest in the middle of night when you're half asleep I'd be annoyed with my 5 year old too and would probably call out from bed to try going on their own

Why didn't you just sleep with the landing and bathroom light on or something?

@Sparklfairy it was too late by the time I woke up. I just woke up to voices and didn’t realise what was going on til my husband shouted. @bonetiredwithtwins I suppose I should have left the light on in hindsight. He doesn’t wake up every night as we make sure he goes just before bed.

Why is your dh furious with a 5 year old?
My dc are adults and my dh has never been furious with either of them.
More likely he knows he's in the wrong for being a selfish arsehole and minimising your ds's anxiety.

I don't understand why you wouldn't leave the light on in the bathroom. If he's walking past it , surely then he'd go in himself?

I admit I'd ne a bit at ds walking past the bathroom (in the dark!) to get to me.

To answer your question, being woken isn't fun. If he didn't want to do it he should have woken you. Perhaps you could have taken it in turns or something until the lights arrived.

I have a "just turned" 5 y/o who knows how to use the bathroom (and doesn't like the dark either) but he is old enough to know he's going to pee. He could have gone himself, he could have turned the lights on himself on the way, or he could have woken you. So while I wouldn't have yelled at him for peeing himself, I would have told him that he knows better than to wet himself and next time to wake me or turn on the lights or something.

Segue - We got our son a flashlight/night light that he can carry. I got it off Amazon but this is what it's called "Zazu Kids Nightlight Torch Lamp Giraffe Toy - Grey Flashlight and Bedside Light, Cordless, Multiple LED Color Options, Auto Shut-Off - Gina The Giraffe". 

It's USB charged, and the auto shutoff has saved us in battery costs!