Do you entertain your baby all the time?

[testy1997]

As a FTM feeling the pressure to constantly entertain my baby during her wake windows. But is this necessary? If I leave her to sit in her bouncer unattended or her play mat she just grizzle's and cries but I'm worried about making her too clingy?

So, with my limited experience:

You can’t change how ‘clingy’ or not they are.
DS1 was like you describe, didn’t like to be anywhere that wasn’t on me.
DS2 you can plonk him anywhere and he just bumbles about looking at stuff/eating his hands.

Do what ever gives you the easiest life.

Bit of both imo. If she's whinging and it's escalating, pick her up / engage with her. But try to build the time she spends playing on her own, it's a useful skill.

Remember EVERYTHING to a baby is new and interesting. Shadows on the wall, the TV, patterns on the carpet etc. watching you pottering about is interesting too. They can't walk so seeing someone else's legs move like that is fascinating.

I think some are clingy and some aren’t. DD1 isn’t clingy as such but still needs constant stimulation in order to stop her whining all day. Thankfully she’s starting pre school next week, she’s been ready for the best part of a year.

DD2 is almost five months and was pretty chilled until recently, though I think it’s just a bit of pre independent sitting frustration. Panic ordered a Jumperoo last night for my sanity!

Did nothing differently with either of them. In fact, DD2 has had more attention because of her sister fawning over her, so in theory should be the clingy one….

Do you have a playmat so she can be entertained by that while you potter around in the same room.

How old is your baby and who is pressuring you to entertain your baby all the time? If you are feeling pressured because your baby cries a lot, that is a lot different from another adult saying you aren’t doing enough.

I never felt the need to Sit and entertain my babies all the time, but Equally, I wouldn’t have left them unattended for any length of time - completely different to nip to the loo, or to make a cup of tea, I would do that kind of thing, but I would Generally involve them with whatever mundane task I was doing, Eg, sorting the washing, I’d put their bouncy chair on the bed so they could see what I was doing and they could watch me fold the washing and I’d talk to them while I was doing it. Daily tasks still need doing even if the baby is grizzling A bit, but if they are proper crying, it’s important to give them a cuddle and spend some time bonding with baby and entertaining them.

How old is she? You can't make a clingy baby, they either want to be held or they don't - you don't really get a say in the matter. I have had 2 Velcro babies, although they let me put them down more after the fourth trimester was over.

Everything counts as entertainment to a baby. 3mo DD enjoyed watching me dust from the bouncer earlier, and she really enjoys watching the shower. Other entertainment involves chewing on her hands.

I do play with her too but need to get on with life.

I would put mine in their bouncy chair wherever I was so I could do things like cook, have a shower etc.

Pop in a high chair or bouncer and let them watch what you’re doing eg cleaning , cooking, drying your hair, hobbies etc. plan on ten-fifteen minutes of good quality play a few times a day (depending on age ) with dining/stories/peekaboo etc. leave them to play safely at other times but if they are getting upset of course comfort or entertain- you can’t make a baby cling - it’s just part of their temperament and some go through clingy phases where as others are permanently clingy! You’ll never regret playing with your child, one day they won’t want to play anymore.

@soughsigh baby is 14 weeks

But what if she just always grizzles?? She's not a very content baby… and wouldn't be happy just staring at me folding laundry

wouldn't be happy just staring at me folding laundry

I have a 14 week old 😀.. how about a crispy toy? Rattle? Mirror?

I feel your pain, my first was a grizzler. He was a high needs baby and is now a high needs toddler.

Tbh, I did whatever I could to stop the grizzling. He started letting me put him down more from 4 months onwards. Even my much more content second baby has only just started letting me put her down more at 14 weeks.

I used to wear DS a lot of the time. He got the nickname "FOMO Baby" very early on because he would throw an absolute fit if he wasn't actively involved in whatever we were doing.

I didn't spent that much time specifically entertaining him, but he was pretty entertained by just being dragged around with me. When he got a bit bigger he LOVED his bouncer though. He also liked those JellyCat books with tails sticking out of them.

I didn’t actively entertain my baby all the time (and still don’t now he’s 11 months), but I did get in the habit of narrating whatever I was doing so he got lots of exposure to language (“I’m washing up now. We wash up so our plates are nice and clean. Now I’m making a cup of tea” etc.).

It felt weird at first, and I did accidentally do it while shopping without him… but it’s a good balance between interacting with him and getting things done.

Some babies are just really grizzly. It’s a bit of a shit hand but it does eventually pass. I also agree with @FTEngineerM, I think a newborns clinginess is pretty inherent. If they demand being held, there probably isn’t much you can do, unless you are happy to put up with wailing.

DS couldn’t stand being put down but also didn’t want to be cuddled. He wanted to be carried round, inspecting the world. From about 5.5 months he spent hours forward facing in the sling and loved it. He was entertained by me going through shops or for a walk. At 1.5, he’s pretty good at playing, but still can’t stand being on his own.

I agree with @FTEngineerM - you can’t make your baby clingy - you just get what you get. DC1 needed constant entertainment and wouldn’t be put down as a baby. I entertained her and spoke to her constantly. She’s now nearly 4 and still needs a lot of attention from me. DC2 is completely different - loved lying on his playmat and can entertain himself with toys now really well at 15 months. It’s nothing to do with my parenting whatsoever - just try to accept what you have and work out ways to cope, eg can you get on with stuff with baby in sling? Can you blitz things during nap time? Once they can sit up alone there are more play possibilities. With DC1 the first break I really had from her was when I made her a treasure basket at about 5-6 months - it would keep her busy for 20-30 mins which felt blissful.

I didn't "entertain" mine as such, but they were certainly clingy in that they would cry unless someone was holding them. So I would hold them or put them in a sling, and do stuff that I enjoyed or needed to do, which they also generally found entertaining.

@AliceW89 that's exactly like my LO. She wants to be carried, facing out looking at everything or with me on her playmat directly engaging with her. This is fine but it just gets exhausting when I need to get bits done!

@FTEngineerM yeah she's okay if I throw some of the organza sheets over her playmat to look at but then gets really fussy if I'm not playing with her and sat right next to her. I'm worried I've created her fussiness and need for attention by doing it all the time. All the other babies around me are happy to mooch about in their bouncers for hours on end! So wondered if I'd been doing something wrong

Nope definitely not. My dd would spend periods each day in her swing or in the play mat.if she was whinging while i was doing washing or whatever, she would just have to wqut until i had finished. As long as she waan't full on crying i left her for the extra 5 mins etc. Stuff needs to get done

I used to get guilt about this alllll the time. My little one is now 19 months old and happily entertains himself for short periods. I highly recommend not entertaining them all the time

Mine would go outside in the pram and watch leaves and clouds until they fell asleep. I sometimes wonder how much fresh air today's babies get.

A@Lemonysherbet do you mean guilt about entertaining too much or too little?

@eddiemairswife I might try this as she loves just looking up at the trees on a wall in the pram

I used to shift the play mat from room to room and put things around the outside of it from each room for them to look at.
If I needed to be in the kitchen then I would put the mat in the dining room where I could see her and put the different pasta jars, (safe) kitchen utensils, cans etc around of them to look at. The different shapes, colours patterns were still new to them. Ditto in the lounge, bedroom, study etc. obviously once they were moving I was much more careful about what I put down.
I was constantly talking about what I was doing, especially if they were grizzly.
Don't overthink it or get sucked into thinking you need lots of extra toys/clutter etc. everything is a new experience for them.