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Parenting

15 replies

Tiresome · 01/01/2022 14:26

I'm a full time mum to an almost 3yr, partner says I'm lazy and that I don't do much with our kid. He's expecting her to able to talk fully and potty trained by exactly 3 and that me trying my best isn't good enough. Am I parenting my child wrong because she isn't fully doing all these things yet??

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SleepingStandingUp · 01/01/2022 14:28

Well there's no right or wrong answer to that, some kids are by 3 and some aren't. Assuming you're interacting and doing all the usual stuff and working towards toilet training if so SN then you're fine.

How much does HE do with her? Perhaps he can stay home with her full time and you work given he's SO much better than you 🙄

TheFabledSnake · 01/01/2022 14:29

Er no, your husband is a dick. Children toilet train at different levels and some don't talk very well either. Also depends on what he means by speaking - does he want to have a conversation with her at 3 years old? That's not going to happen!

How well do you think your child is developing?

Echobelly · 01/01/2022 14:33

And why is this your 'job'? What is he contributing to parenting other than standing at the side criticising?

I think kids do potty train later than they used to - neither of mine were out of day nappies until after they were 3. I think it's because nappies are so much better than they were when we were kids that it's harder to motivate little ones to get out of them as there's less discomfort involved with being wet/dirty!

Some kids are very conversational at 3 (my DD) and others are barely putting 3 words together (my DS - note, same parenting!)

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Tiresome · 01/01/2022 14:35

I think she's coming along nicely with talking but people don't understand what says saying because she's so softly spoken. I told him that children develop at different rates but he's convinced that all I really do while he's at work is be on my phone and not interacting with her...

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Xmasiscancelledagain · 01/01/2022 14:36

What's he doing to help her then? Other than badgering you?

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Tiresome · 01/01/2022 14:42

He actually did say he was better than me in everything he does, I'm a young mum that moved far away from my home town with him. He likes to remind me that his education landed him with jobs where as I struggle, that he's better with our child and so on... but he can't do much with her since he works, has band practice and likes to go out after work... I just feel like since becoming a parent I haven't gotten a break from the criticism...

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SleepingStandingUp · 01/01/2022 14:45

Did you have support back home op?

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Tiresome · 01/01/2022 14:59

I have little support from my family, his mother is very supportive and will sometimes take our daughter for a week if I need to get stuff done or deal with mental health

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TheFabledSnake · 01/01/2022 15:32

So what exactly does he contribute except criticism towards you?

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Tiresome · 01/01/2022 15:50

He spends time with our daughter mainly on his lap while he games, says he colours with her and he said that making her watch nature documentaries is more beneficial than what I do with her? Pays his half of rent and bills. We previously agreed that he put 50 towards groceries then when it came to it he put 30 and said his consumption is less than 30... after me telling him I need more too for our kid he started paying...

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TheFabledSnake · 01/01/2022 16:09

@Tiresome

He spends time with our daughter mainly on his lap while he games, says he colours with her and he said that making her watch nature documentaries is more beneficial than what I do with her? Pays his half of rent and bills. We previously agreed that he put 50 towards groceries then when it came to it he put 30 and said his consumption is less than 30... after me telling him I need more too for our kid he started paying...
So not very much then, considering how much he gets on your case. He doesn't sound very supportive. Making a nearly 3 year old watch documentaries is not the way to teach them. Whatever you do with her is probably a darn sight better. Usually by this age they know their colours so him saying colours with her isn't very beneficial unless she had additional needs. Sounds like he isn't a very good partner to you.
Starcaller · 01/01/2022 16:11

He's a useless mean sod, isn't he? What's the point of him?

Notamaidenname · 01/01/2022 16:14

What’s he doing except telling you how good he is?

SleepingStandingUp · 01/01/2022 17:46

@Tiresome

I have little support from my family, his mother is very supportive and will sometimes take our daughter for a week if I need to get stuff done or deal with mental health
His mother is regularly taking your daughter for a week when you have stuff to do?
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Tiresome · 01/01/2022 18:16

At least once a month or two months, we live far from them so they love having her down

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