Alone in the dark!! Would you....?

[aloha]

Just wondering, no right or wrong answers here, but wanted to know what other mothers think. What do you think of a not particularly streetwise child of 12ish, walking 15minutes alone to another house. The area is residential, not rough, but because it is 5.30 and 7pm (coming back), it's dark. Would you think this is OK? What if the child was scared to do the walk alone, what then? If you do think 12 is too young, at what age would you think this was OK?

I do think 12 is too young. It'd be ok in the daylight, but I'd feel uncomfortable about letting them go in the dark.

Well I'm WELL over 21 but tbh I hate walking from the door to the end of the drive to get in my car when its dark - wimp I know!

Seriously I don't think I'd be too happy about letting a 12 year old walk out alone in the dark whatever the time - not these days! - Even tho' its a pain I'd give them a lift whatever their age.

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If the child is scared, then definitely too young. Otherwise, I would say 5.30 OK (plus perhaps a quick "I've arrived" phone call), 7pm too late. I don't have a 12yo myself, I'm basing my response on how I felt as a 12yo coming home from school and after-school activities.

Can't decide one way or the other with this one. My son is 15 and spends a lot of his time at his friends four doors up from home - I don't like him going that short distance when it's dark. Which is strange when you think that things can just as well happen in broad daylight - not only when dark.

Hmm, if the child was scared, but his friends did it all the time, I would insist on going with him. Just to give him an out, really. No need for him to do it alone if he's scared and no need for him to get teased for making me come along, either.

Otherwise, if I were really worried about it, then I'd walk with him and if not, I'd probably let him walk alone, esp if his friends did. I don't think it's the age, but the child and the situation which matter, iyswim.

If the child is scared then definitely not.

Even as an adult I avoid going out by myself when it's dark wherever possible. I suppose it might be different if I lived in a less dodgy area.

If child isn't streetwise, and a bit scared t'boot then that child is not ready.
It is dark now between these times, and there aren't always people around and even residential streets can be scary.
Could child walk with another child (or teenager) if adult supervision is out of question?

I haven't any experience of this age - but would still feel worried for the child until I was confident that THEY were confident Iykwim.

If she's worried, then definately not, and if you're worried, then I'd say no too....! If it's something you don't feel comfortable about, then go with your gut. I personally wouldn't want my child to be walking around on their own in the dark, but then I'm constantly worrying about my little boy anyway....!

Depends on the child and the area - I used to do this all the time at this age, but if the child is scared I would say definitely not. And there is always some risk - just depends what it is really.

Well, in this case, it isn't my choice what happens... I think all these replies are very useful though.

Ah. Maybe if she has to walk because no one will take her and is scared, she could carry a whistle or alarm or something along those lines. I don't know if talking to her about safety would help her feel in control or make her more scared... someone who is close to her (a caring stepmother, maybe) could decide that.

Poor thing, hope that's not the case.

maybe 15 sounds better? but then again, I'm well over that age and sometimes feel uncomfortable myself walking in the dark although where we live is a very safe area.

I think its up to the child .. if she was adamant that she wanted to do it then I'd probably let her but I would also probably tail her (so she couldn't see me but I knew she was safe)

I'd also try to set up some kind of buddy system where a group of kids walk together

You can't tell by age you have to go by what the child is like

Everything has been sorted! A lift is now provided! Hooray!

too young if its dark

You know, this worries me. I think it is incredibly sad if we live in a society where a 12 year old (not a small child after all) can't be out alone at 5:30 p.m.

If the child is afraid of the dark, well okay, we all go thru stages of that, but if it is becos, as grown-ups we imagine murderers and peadophiles around every corner, then I'm afraid our 'civilised' society is in a parlous state.

The problem is two-fold. First our kids will never learn to take responsibility for themselves. Second, our streets do become 'no go' areas, because the fewer ordinary decent there are about, the more open the opportunities become for the minority of the 'wrong-uns'.

I seem to remember going off to friends houses when I was 12, after dark. I don't think general crime is sooo much greater now, particularly peadophilia, or street muggings (in decent residential areas at least), but I do think the press are much more lurid about it than they used to be, which heightens it in our minds.

So, in a good respectable area I would let my son or daughter walk it if they wanted to.

Sorry didn't mean to sound like I'm lecturing

sorry, can't spell paedophile !!!

too young in the dark

Probably too young. I walk the dog in the dark (morning and night) and it still gives me the shivers when I hear footsteps behind me and I am 38!! Toughie though, with it getting dark so soon at this time of the year.