Dummy's - what are the advantages/disadvantages?

[CucumberCool]

FTM here and I'm not sure whether a dummy is a good idea or not?

Please give me your wisdom

If a baby is a determined thumb sucker I would (and did) switch them to a dummy as it can be for in bed only when they are older.

It's was torture getting mine to give up thumb sucking when older.

Looking back I think I could have made my life easier with a dummy. I drove myself half-crazy soothing and rocking and stimulating and feeding when others were popping a dummy in and job done!

Why? My mother. She has always hated them and looked down on them out of pure snobbery. She says “dummies are for dummies” (sorry, but I kid you not) and lower class etc Total snob I know but it stuck with me and I just knew I wasn’t to use one so I didn’t. 🤷‍♀️ I’ll tell my own children to do whatever they have to for an easier ride. There are no medals!

wonder invention, as pp has stated you can keep a dummy for bedtime but a thumb comes everywhere with you

My midwife told me to get one as ds was using my breasts as a dummy and I was getting very sore! Best thing I ever did for me and him. Got rid by 3rd birthday and once past the tiny baby stage only had it for nap/sleep time.

I didn’t bother as mine was never a thumb sucker. I think if I’d been trying to discourage something like that I’d have considered it but didn’t want the battle of giving them up if we didn’t need to.

We never bothered as mine didn't suckle for comfort but I would choose a dummy over a thumb any day.

I believe they slightly lower sids risk
Not all babies like them, so some won't get any comfort from them
If they work it can be easy to become reliant on them both as a parent, but also children that don't settle if they don't have one (eg. You've not got any more spares and they've lost/dropped/ dirtied the ones you have with you)

It can be a nightmare to get kids to give them up. My nephew has speech delay from his and his teeth are affected even though he'd given his up by 18 months old after a long struggle

However I have also sucked my thumb and have bad teeth from that so I wonder if I'd been better with one

When DS was a baby I tried my absolute hardest to get him to take a dummy but he just wouldn’t have it. It was boob (loved a comfort suck) or crying

The only advantage is, now he is a toddler, I’m not having any battles to get rid of it. I still would have taken the dummy when he was tiny though for the slight headache of getting rid of it!

As a word of warning sometimes people will say they are using boobs for comfort/ as a dummy when in reality it can be cluster feeding and an important part of building up your supply, and increasing it with the different stages they go through.

I'm always warey of people that try and encourage dummies as a replacement as they aren't always informed about the purpose of what looks like useless and lazy use of boobs for comfort

@Motherdare my mum was the same 😂. So embarrassed when she saw my daughter with one.

In the US they're called a pacifier, that's a nicer word.

I used one with DC1 because otherwise she'd be on the boob all day. It was a great way of soothing her but we got rid of it around 6 months as we couldn't ride out the period where it would fall out in the night but she wasn't able to find it and put it back in herself.

DC2 wouldn't take one though, I tried very hard but he wasn't interested. But he was a generally calmer baby and didn't need a lot of soothing or rocking anyway.

So I would just keep an open mind and see what you/your baby needs at the time.

Anecdotally the one of mine who didn't take to a dummy is still a compulsive nail biter, and the other two who did have dummies have straighter teeth and don't bite their nails. They were breastfed for less time though (but also they were combi fed anyway so may just be related to that). I really can't see any disadvantages if you get rid of them before 2yo, but tread lightly in the early weeks if you are breastfeeding is all.

Life saver in my case. DS1 had awful colic and didn’t want boob, dummy would be the only thing to calm the crying and screaming. He still uses them at 21 months, but it’s sleep cue. You do what you can to survive

Eldest child LOVED the dummy. Made it easier to settle and comfort them, and bought time between feeds when they were tiny. Never sucked thumb (my mum always used to say you can take a dummy away but not a thumb!). Was predictably resistant to getting rid but managed it easily enough at 3, and no problems since.

Second child wouldn't take a dummy and has been totally fine without one. Guess they didn't miss what they never wanted! We never had the challenge of taking it away, but they do finger-suck a bit.

Overall I'm a dummy fan. If the child takes to it they do make life that bit easier, which I'm all for at that stage!

I was really anti dummy before kids. Then I gave birth to a baby who was a sucker. She was only happy when attached to me. One morning the HV arrived at a point where baby was screaming and couldn't be calmed. She suggested a dummy, and we never looked back.

However, I still hate to see happy babies and toddlers running around with dummies in. Once mine was content and otherwise occupied, her dummy was popped out.

Someone proudly showed me a family photo yesterday where her happy (judging by its eyes) 18 month old had half his face covered by a huge dummy. Why do that and cover a lovely toddler smile?

was also anti dummy before having my baby... but a 5 weeks gave it to him and has been a life saver. when he is tired and needs to calm down before a sleep it really makes a difference (currently 3 months old) he spits it out as he actually falls asleep but if he stirs I give it back to him and he goes back to sleep. currently sleeps 9 hours straight at night fairly easily with/without it... but dummy really helps in the day time with naps or car rides. Also he has started to teeth so seems to help him there.

the plan is to try and get him off it before 12 months

It's given DD2 a lot of relief from her bad reflux, she's a toddler now and asks for her dummy when the reflux flares up.

I think dummies are great. Most babies get a great deal of comfort from suckling. For those that do, you can deny them that comfort, you can let them have that comfort from your breast or you can give them a dummy.

Pros

Offers comfort
Means they won't suck thumb
Good way to settle to sleep

Cons

Can be difficult to take away
Can be bad for speech/teeth (I think this is only if you let them have them all day though as toddlers)

Thanks everyone.

I am planning to bf.
Also relate the the snobbery around it, my family are the same...had previously thought they were a bad idea but I can see why you would choose to let them have one if used correctly and I guess weaned from them quite early so they don't get the speech/teeth problems and overly attached.

Perhaps not something I need to get before she is here though...

Just to add, a lot of studies have found no association between dummy use and speech delay

Best invention! My dd, liek most babeis, sucked for comfort, and no way was i sitting there for hours so she could just suck my nipple, if she wasn't feeding then she was off the breast and dummy in for comfort.

We waited and got rid of it around 2yo once she was old enough go understand the dummy fairy, 2 days and we were done, no speech or teeth problems.

I was anti-dummy pre-kids. Now I love them 😂

Both mine had/have them. My eldest has beautifully straight teeth, never bloody shuts up 😂 we got rid just as she turned 3. Had a couple weeks of disturbed nights but no problems since.

DD2 LOVES her dummy, far more than DD1. She’s almost 2.. her teeth are also dead straight and she chatters away. I am conscious she relies on it quite a lot for comfort even in the daytime .. deffo going to begin to wean her off the daytime dummy this year.. I’m in no rush for the nighttime. Easier when they are a bit older & you can explain/bribe 😂