Baby crying alot - temperament or enviroment? Opinions please.....

[justme27]

Hiya all

My sil and me had babies very close together - my dd is generally great in public, goes to everyone, happy little chappy. My neice screams alot, when shes hungry, when she has wind, when there's new people, whenever really!!

Key difference - me and dh live alone with our dd. My neice lives with her parents and my inlaws. Since she was born, she has always had four people at her beck and call and passing her around when she cries. She sleeps in the same room with her parents which they also spend alot of time in as it is their space.

Just wondering whether anyone thinks a difference between the girls could be down to enviroment?

I think that a child's character is formed in utero. Wouldn't have believed that until I had children, though!

I have four DSs and DS2 has always been a crier. He's now 7 and is our (very lovely) resident drama queen.

DS1 is stoical. As is DS3. DS4 is shaping up to be similar to DS2.

Also, another thing I wouldn't have believed, character can be genetic. I'm sure this must be true as DS2 has exactly the same temperament as my MIL.

DH and I have just one DS and he's a very happy little chap. That's not to make you feel worse, just that I don't think your DD just being with you and your DH has anything to do with it. Some babies are just more sensitive than others unfortunately. My friend's little boy is just the same as your DD. I'm sure they'll both grow out of it though. Perhaps she has an artistic temperament?

She does seem to be getting better - I love them both to pieces and both me and sil treat both babies as our own. I actually get more defensive when people say to my dd 'you're the good baby aren't you'

My poor neice, babies cry for god sake!!

Just something I wondered as bedtime routines etc are so different due to the different make up of the households.

I'm lucky I guess! Maybe I should stop at one

OMG, I read your OP completely the wrong way around. What an idiot! Ignore my post then. Clearly being the only one is good for both of our DCs.

i think it depends on how old they are. up to maybe 9 or 10 months then i would say it is probably temperament, older then maybe environment?
although i have lived with just my dh for a few months, and now with parents and have done for 10 months, and feel my dd is behaving worse now than when we lived on our own.
or maybe she is just growing in to her own skin?
in other words, i dont know what im talking about, and just rambled on a load of crap.
it made sense to me.

well a bit

Temperament. My dd's and ds' personality were evident from birth.

Enviroment:
Well if you follow a truby King/ gina ford type routine the baby will cry less. The baby will have learnt that there is no point in crying because its cries won't be answered. It gives an illusion of a good baby when infact its a baby who has just given up. This is desperately sad imho.

Some babies have a more trumatic birth or maybe were less mature at birth. It can make adapting to the outside world harder.

Nature:
Some babies suffer colic or reflux.
Some babies are high needs children. They demand more attention.

It does get better. I don't thinking sharing a room with a baby does any harm. Infact it reduces the risk of cot death. I diliberately had my son beside my bed when he was little so I could pick him up and feed him without getting out of bed.

I think it is a mixture of temperament and enviroment. I do sometimes think it to do with the pregnancy and birth.

I have 2 dd's, dd1 was a happy baby from day 1 she slept and only woke every 4hours for a feed and was a happy child and still is and now at nearly 4yrs she is a happy, independent child. I had an easy pregnancy and birth (at 39wks) with her.

Now dd2 (16weeks) and she is a screamer. She screams for no reason. She is much more of a cling on only seems to be happy when close to me. I had a difficult pregnancy with her, i didn't enjoy it at all. She was a breech baby had to be turned, then i had to be induced at 41wks as i was in a lot of pain. I don't think she was ready to be born, and when she was born she was a blue baby.