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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Communicating with 6 year old

5 replies

magicstars · 31/12/2021 10:30

Ds 6, is highly sensitive & whilst he is sweet & lovely, he can also be hard work at times. He got cross this am when he was pulled up for adding an extra marble to his reward jar.
We have the grandparents coming round today. I want to communicate with him that if he sulks/ shouts/ is rude today, then there will be consequences. The rewards only for good behaviour, method doesn't seem to be working. Mostly I ignore the negative & praise the good.
I seem to get this wrong however. I am 'gentle' & I don't shout or use time outs etc.
How do you communicate most effectively with your dc of this age, to get a clear message across that the world doesn't always revolve around them?

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Original poster

magicstars · 31/12/2021 10:32

To add, he has health issues & significant family changes. So on top of the pandemic I have gone for a loving approach, but I fear I have taught him that I'm just a push over.

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Fallagain · 31/12/2021 11:38

I won’t go in with consequences. Rewards and regular use consequences are not part of ‘gentle parenting’. I would start by asking him what he thinks is a good way for him to behave to day and then talk through what he will do if he begins to feel frustrated or angry. Discipline means teaching him and as parents we need to teach skills to deal with emotions. For today that may include him having the option to have time out and go and lay in his bedroom or watch TV for half an hour.

Fallagain · 31/12/2021 11:39

The books how to talk to little people are really good.

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6 year olds Behaviour & development Families General parenting

Original poster

magicstars · 31/12/2021 15:11

Ok thanks. I'll look into that. We've had to take away regular tv use as he was quite hooked on it & it really impacted his behaviour. I can still set the tv up for the occasional film etc.
I like the idea of him being able to take himself off for time out & the chat in advance .

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VioletLemon · 31/12/2021 15:18

Try noticing when he makes a kind choice or does something positive and reflect it back to him. Give him meaningful compliments, "I saw that you put your own socks on, I like the way you were careful with the pencil, I am proud of the way you were kind to your sister" goes a long way. Consequences at that age is more about the adults.

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