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Parenting

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Original poster

Do you go to toddlers groups?

20 replies

Broodymomma · 21/12/2007 20:49

Just wondering how often you all go to baby groups? I took ds this morning but just felt so out of place. Spoke to a few people but felt such a twat as it seemed like everybody knew eachother or had their own little groups to sit in. We have been a couple of times now but cant seem to get past that pleasant chit chat of "aww he/she is lovely, how old ect". Are they all like that?? I really want to crack it as my lo loved it - felot like i was back at school and not part of the "in crowd".

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ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 21/12/2007 20:52

I think everyone feels like this, especially if you find it hard to approach/chat to people you don't know.

I would say carry on going, it will change as your face becomes a familiar one - although it is cringy until that happens.

mustrunmorewantsanewname · 21/12/2007 20:54

How well I ermember that feeling! Do you have a choice of diffrernt ones to go to? I found there to be a huge diffreence between groups. Some are cliquey, some are lovely. Sometimesw you just need to find a little in-road into the circles. We go to 2 a week now (and counting down till I can escape forever!!). One is very nice; I talk to alot of adults, have friends there, ita s social thing for me etc. The other is fantastic for the boys, but I never talk to any of the adults, and TBH, I dont care really! The boys love it, and I'm happy playing with them or just having a cup of tea and a think!!

Dont lose heart; you'll get there.

fishie · 21/12/2007 20:57

they are hell but you have to really. find the one which suits you best and remember you will be seeing quite a lot of them until at least primary school and maybe your child's entire school career. hopefully you can make friends with at least a few of them.

ds is 2.5 and i seldom go to groups any more because i work 4 days a week. i don't know many of ds' compadres or keep up with their mums - they have babies and i didn't even know they were pregnant. not good i will have to do better when they start at nursery.

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Original poster

Broodymomma · 21/12/2007 20:57

Thank you! So I am not alone then! I think next time I go I will look out for someone sat on their own and hope they feel as out of place as i do and befriend them. It is a nice group it just seems hard to get past the initial chit chat. I will persevere though as my lo had such a good time. I did get a nice sit down with a cuppa and a penguin biccie so it wasn't all that bad xx

OP posts:

foxythesnowman · 21/12/2007 20:59

Yep, it takes a while but it happens.

You could help things along and maybe get involved. Help with the teas perhaps? Or just turn up and like the others have said, wait until you aren't the new girl anymore.

It is worth it in the end. I've made some good friends through toddler group, and positively look forward to the opportunity of adult conversation once a week now!

lulalullabye · 21/12/2007 20:59

I spent the first 3 weeks on my own, then somebody talked to me and she had friends. I had just moved to the area so knew nobody. Now I have three more friends and we are all off to see take that tomorrow, so stick with it, it's worth it.

lulalullabye · 21/12/2007 20:59

P.S I do have other friends too !!

SantasLittleToiletFlusher · 21/12/2007 21:00

Everyone has felt like you I promise, I know I certainly did. You just have to grit your teeth and get on with it I'm afraid. I kept at it and after a while made some fantastic friends who I still see now. You just have to fix a smile on your face and get talking to people (about the area, what they do etc etc).

I too, hated going to them at first, i used to force myself to go.....your persistance will pay off!

Report back in 6 months time!

fishie · 21/12/2007 21:02

thinking back i remember the worst bit was having to be really nice to everyone, when really i was missing being bitchy in the office and having a lovely whinge. i soon found a nice chum to do this with. is the politeness which gets you down....

lulalullabye · 21/12/2007 21:04

here here fishie. We now have a little mothers meeting in the corner, anyone welcome

StarlightMcKenzie · 21/12/2007 21:06

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Original poster

Broodymomma · 21/12/2007 21:06

LOL - you lot really do understand. God I miss a good gossip!! I am new to this area too so not really got many mates here with kids so I have to get some!! Right my new years resolution is to take him every friday until i go back to work. Mind you the child who never crawls in the house managed to get himself to another kids snack bowl and i found him looking up guiltily with a maryland cookie rammed in his mouth - think he thought he was in heaven lol! His bowl with banana and raisins was obviously much less exciting as it got launched across the floor!

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lulalullabye · 21/12/2007 21:10

They will never eat their own food, or drink. My dd used to sit in the baby section at 15mths and smile at all the babies. You will get there, don't give. Where are you living ? There must be someone on here who goes to a playgroup near you.

Original poster

Broodymomma · 21/12/2007 21:13

I love in Dunfermline Fife. You just made me laugh remembering the other incident today when i saw ds pick up a girls sparkly cup and take a big slug of water out of it - wee bisim refuses to drink out of his own one!! Perhpas i need to buy him a pink sparkly one - would love to see dh's face!!

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lulalullabye · 21/12/2007 21:16

I live in Leeds, nowhere near you, shame.

moljam · 21/12/2007 21:18

i do with ds2.same one i went to with dd and ds1 and i used to run when they were too old and before ds2 was born(so have been going for 7 years-aarrrgghh).i dont enjoy it half as much as ds2 does.for me it simply breaks up day and ds likes playing,also good for him to socialise.not that i think i'll be able to go again after fall out last time about swearing

Original poster

Broodymomma · 21/12/2007 21:22

oohhh tell us more!!

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moljam · 21/12/2007 21:24

here

lulalullabye · 21/12/2007 21:27

ooh naughty lady, we only swear when friends ds escapes for the fortieth time out of the door. Under breath though !

JingleyJen · 21/12/2007 21:29

I go to two regularly - one that I run - and we have an understanding about regulars and new comers - it is a small group - so when there is a new face one of us tends to go and chat with the Mum - usually a mum with a similar aged child to the New mum. We haven't sat and organised it - it is just what tends to happen.

After a couple of weeks you will have worked out who the "cool kid" was at school who was the "sporty" one etc.. Enjoy - we are all in the same boat!

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