Breastfeeding help

[GoBrookeYourself]

Autocorrect originally changed the title to breastfeeding hell which is actually more appropriate. We have a 9 week old DS and breastfeeding was originally going a lot better than it did with DS1. Feeding every 3 hours, gaining weight etc etc.

Over the last week or so it’s suddenly changed. DS gets himself so worked up that on my boob he’s crying so hard he won’t even latch. Once he’s latched he’s fine but it can be 10-15 minutes of crying first which is so stressful. He’s still feeding every 3 hours-ish and I’m so tempted to give up and give formula now because I don’t think he likes my milk which is what my DM suggested. He’s had his tongue tie cut (at 6 weeks) and just seems miserable through the day, naps well when he naps (on us) and settles by himself in his next to me at night but in between sleeping during the day all he seems to do is cry. I spoke to the doctor re reflux and was prescribed gaviscon which didn’t do anything and now omeprazole which we haven’t tried yet as I’m not convinced it’s reflux as there’s no arching etc it’s just constant crying.

Please please please can someone tell me what I’m doing wrong and how to make the crying stop? I feel like I’m now crying as much as he is and my 4 year old DS keeps saying he misses me and wants me to play with him which is so hard when I’m the only one who can comfort DS2.

Didn't want to read and run!
This is totally normal behaviour. Fussiness at the breast is a way of increasing supply, probably due to a growth spurt. My baby was the same and it was so hard. It settled again after and just for easier from there. Maybe try feeding more often than 3 hourly if you can? My baby is 9 months old and has only just started going 3 hours 😂 The Kelly mom website has great advice on this as well so check that out.
You're doing a fabulous job and breast-feeding is wonderful for your baby. But if you don't want to do it then of course that's up to you. Again, loads more info on how to switch to formula on Kellymom.

JqI would contact LLL for advice. If you feel comfortable try to giving a few sips of formula to stave off the hangryness until he is calm enough to latch. I did this when needed for the first 6 weeks with DD2 and then we were able to drop it.

Sorry that should say a period of fussiness is normal - obviously not if baby is miserable every day!
Also maybe be worth considering an allergy? Once I cut dairy my little one was a different baby. There were other symptoms as well though!

The National BFing helpline are brilliant for BFing advice also.

They're open 9:30am-9:30pm.

0300 100 0212

www.nationalbreastfeedinghelpline.org.uk/

Not saying you shouldn't ask here! I've had some great advice from MNers but just that they're great if you want to talk anything over.

(I posted this on another MN thread too, in case anyone is having de ja vu reading this!)

Please, please ignore anyone who says silly things like your baby doesn't like your milk.

Speak to LLL or the BFing helpline for decent advice.

My DS2 sounds very similar to this. Taking him to a chiropractor seemed to help a lot. I also pretty much constantly carried him around in a sling.
Part of it I think is down to their temperament. DS2 is very tactile now. If he's sat next to someone on the sofa he always wants to cuddle and hold hands, this is fine by me, but his friends don't seem so keen! He's also quite quick to anger. Maybe it's partially down to your DC'S personality coming through?

Thank you for your words everyone. I’ve tried the national breastfeeding helpline just now but the lines are all busy with no option to queue, just call later so I’ll try later.

I must admit @christmascharade I had a bit of a cry at her words. She said the same thing with DS1 so I ended up giving up breastfeeding early and I really didn’t want to this time so I was so pleased when it worked so well initially but it seems to have gone wrong. He did have his 8 week jabs yesterday but this fussiness predates that by a few days so I can’t just put it down to that.

@Jijithecat, my DS1 is the same, always wanting cuddles and to be close to me so maybe it is just his personality, but he just seems so miserable all the time, until he settles and then he’s happy as a clam.

@User65412 I did consider a dairy allergy but the selfish part of me can’t bear the idea of giving up dairy, chocolate etc. I don’t have much anyway, no milk or anything so it’s primarily chocolate which is pretty much a food group for me these days.

It’s nice to just not feel so lonely and not feel like such a failure. Everyone else’s babies seem to be so happy and smiling and I’m pretty sure when DS2 smiles it’s just wind.

Oh I forgot to say, some of the times when he cries he’ll poo or trump and then settles but he doesn’t have constipation (the opposite actually and normal loose stools) so I’m not sure why it seems to be causing him so much discomfort. He also has an umbilical hernia but the doctor said that won’t cause any pain or discomfort.

All my five babies had a period of being like this - it's horrible when you just don't know what's wrong with them, when they're crying and thrashing around and won't latch on. Quite often there isn't an answer. Just take things one day at a time and eventually it will improve.

One thing I learned after the first couple (of babies) is that a stressed mum equals a crying baby (which is why quite often our babies settle right down when someone else is holding them -- thanks!!). Easier said than done, I know, but trying to stay calm and not getting too worked up does help.

I used to do a sort of humorous running commentary of what I thought my baby/babies might be saying when they were crying -- this really helped to ease my tension and inject some humour into a stressful situation, especially when I had two babies to look after.

Breastfeeding is tough so some support from the organisations other PPs have mentioned would be worth trying. And ignore the stupid comment your DM made.

Is it possible that your DS is so hungry that he needs some 'instant gratification' with the feeding. My experience of breastfeeding boys is that they are ravenous compared to girls. Fallagain's suggestion might be worth trying or maybe try expressed milk from a bottle.

Good luck...

Yes I totally understand not wanting to give up chocolate! My baby had lots of poos, very runny, lots of mucus, lots of farting, pain when passing stool etc. Even if I have a piece of chocolate now she will have a reaction. There's loads of vegan treats out there though so I don't mind so much. It might be worth trying for 2 weeks to see if there's an improvement! Of course, might be totally unrelated but I was desperate so I tried anything.
Second the sling suggestion, it was massive comfort for my baby. As pp said, it will get better 🌟

The sling has been a lifesaver, he cries when going in but settles quickly and sleeps in there. The only problem is when I move he wakes up!

Thank you @LightSpeeds, the one day at a time mentality is the only thing getting me through. I’ve forgotten everything from DS1, but had PND so I think I’ve blocked it all out but I know he wasn’t an easy baby and everyone kept telling me you don’t get 2 hard babies so I naively didn’t prepare for this!

I’ll try expressing some milk and giving him that to begin with; I recently started expressing a bottle for DH to give him as his last feed before bed so I could have a bit of a break and he seems to drink loads (9oz a couple of nights ago!)

Here’s a picture of him in his sling looking like butter wouldn’t melt.. Christmas Day was spent with him in the sling and me stood up the whole day jigging him, I even ate Christmas dinner standing up lol

I think I’ll have to bite the bullet and give up dairy to see if that helps. He doesn’t have mucus and poos about once to twice a day at the most, but it’s a mustardy colour and pretty loose. The crying when pooing may also be pain as once it’s out he calms down, but I don’t know if that’s normal. It’s so hard when they can’t communicate.

8-9 weeks is always prime fussy time ime. Honestly, if nappy output is good (runny, yellow, mustard seed poos are completely normal) and weight gain is happening then you are probably fine. I'd power through and see if things have improved in a week or so before making any drastic changes. Fussiness is totally normal - if it's stressing you out, take everything back to basics with lots of skin to skin and frequently putting baby to the breast can help. I also found a swaddle and feeding while rocking in a rocking chair soothed them when they needed to latch. I spent a lot of time browsing formula and bottles online at 8 - 9 weeks with both of mine and both times it ended up fine

Just sharing my experience incase it helps…

My baby got really fussy at this stage too! I think his crying and fussyness peaked at about week 8 and it settled down again.

I also had a problem with oversupply and it came too fast for him. So many times he would unlatch and get absolutely covered. It was like a shower head spraying the poor kid. He would get hysterical (and it did look a bit funny but I felt awful). In the end I had to pump a bit before I fed him. However at about four months it all settled.