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Original poster

Kissing baby

21 replies

Jurassiclover · 30/12/2021 15:41

Hey guys,

My LO is 5 months and so far no one has kissed him on the lips (I suffer from cold sores from time to time so we thought best that no one at all, not even me and DP kiss him on the lips). We do kiss him on the forehead though.

Just wondering if anyone did similar, when did you start kissing your baby on the lips? I'm not exactly in a rush to have a mouth full of saliva and baby sick but LO keeps trying to put his mouth on mine and I'm just wondering what age would be safe?

Of course I'd never kiss any part of him if I had any signs of a breakout in cold sores.

Thanks guys

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

orishan · 30/12/2021 15:44

You're overthinking it. Kisses are a normal part of familial relationships so do whatever feels most natural to you. Seems like you're stressing about something that probably isn't worth the hassle and you'd be more relaxed just kissing him whenever you want to. Pathologising a normal thing is only going to stress you out more and sooner or later he'll notice that you're avoiding his kisses which will seem a bit strange

Lacedwithgrace · 30/12/2021 15:47

I kissed mine from birth! Other than cold sores it's very unlikely you'd only pass something on just by kissing them. Even by kissing their forehead you could pass on a cold or whatever

imnotacelebritygetmeoutofhere · 30/12/2021 15:54

I think kissing on the lips is weird unless in a relationship. I've never kissed a baby, child, parent, sibling, friend on the lips. I've always kissed on cheek, forehead, etc. Kisses on the lips are for DP!

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SleepingStandingUp · 30/12/2021 15:57

@imnotacelebritygetmeoutofhere

DS used to grab my ears and pull me if for a big slobber kiss.

Shoving my tongue in his mouth is reserved for DH. There doesn't have to be anything sexual about a kiss in the lips

PinkWaferBiscuit · 30/12/2021 15:59

@imnotacelebritygetmeoutofhere

Do you have your own children, I can't imagine not kissing my son. A kiss doesn't have to sexual, kissing your child on the lips is totally normal.

I agree with others that you're over thinking it. I wouldn't kiss a child on the lips of I had an active coldsore but otherwise there is no reason at all to not kiss your child.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 30/12/2021 16:01

What @imnotacelebritygetmeoutofhere said.

SleighbellsZ · 30/12/2021 16:02

Wouldn't kiss with an active cold sore no but your over thinking!
I can't imagine not kissing my DS on the lips but even then he grabs my face and I get sloppy kisses a lot.

GemmaRuby · 30/12/2021 16:02

I think this is a slightly odd thing to plan. I accept that your kids might kiss you on the lips, and that would be fine… but I wouldn’t deliberately do it to my baby personally.

I find it really weird when adults still kiss their parents on the lips and vice versa.

Metallicalover · 30/12/2021 16:06

I've never kissed my little one on her mouth, I suffer from cold sores also. The only person I kiss on the lips is my husband (obviously when I don't have coldsores) my husband never kisses her on the lips either.
I've never kissed anyone on the lips that I wasn't in a romantic relationship.
My family have never kissed children on the lips and my husbands don't either.
I'm aware a lot of people do but it's never been done in our families.

ThirdElephant · 30/12/2021 16:07

I've never kissed my kids on the lips. Cheeks and foreheads are fine.

It's just not the done thing in our family.

Santaslittlemelter · 30/12/2021 16:28

Also no lip kissing here of kids or babies. It's not important to do so. Cuddles and affection, head and cheek kisses are more than enough to communicate love.

SpinsForGin · 30/12/2021 16:48

I still kiss my DS on the lips and he's 7. He also still kisses DH. It's something we've done since birth and is lovely ❤️

Alayalaya · 30/12/2021 16:59

It’s easier to teach a child that nobody is allowed to kiss their lips ever. I’m not sure why you’d ever kiss your child’s lips when you know you have herpes? You can transmit the disease even if you don’t have any sores and your child will be afflicted for life.

SmallPrawnEnergy · 30/12/2021 17:12

Kissing baby on the lips actually increases their ability to recognize another person is physically ‘like them’, and this all depends on the reaction their brains have towards touch. A study took place last year by the University of Washington Institute for Learning and Brain Sciences (I-LABS) where they used infant brain imaging to discover how the hand, foot and lips are viewed in the brains of 2-month-old babies.
Interesting fodder.

Kissing on the lips here, no choice as others have said, if I don’t, she does. I wouldn’t force her but I would assume that’s a given. It’s very easy to teach bodily autonomy while still kissing your own child, what a ridiculous notion.

soughsigh · 30/12/2021 19:06

I don't kiss my kids on the lips and wouldn't want to as they are usually snotty and slobbery. I mostly go for the forehead but sometimes the 3yo gives me a kiss on the lips as he sees my husband do (just a goodbye peck). Do what feels right.

SleepingStandingUp · 30/12/2021 19:49

It’s easier to teach a child that nobody is allowed to kiss their lips ever. well no one is allowed to touch his genitals ever and yet I change his nappy.

Original poster

Jurassiclover · 31/12/2021 09:00

Ah seems quite mixed then!

I do come from a kissing family, but I was never really comfortable with it as a kid (I'm autistic and don't really like being touched at the most of times) so it does seem a bit odd to kiss a tiny baby on the mouth to me but that could be because of my own discomfort as a child.

I also think you guys may be right, maybe I am over thinking the germs etc. DS is my 1st after a miscarriage so I've done anything I can to keep him safe and I think I just got overly scared by the horror stories of babies dying after being kissed!

Thank you all for your replies! I think what I'll probably do is continue to not kiss him on the mouth but won't avoid it if he starts trying to kiss me. So I'll not initiate but won't avoid if he goes for the lips. I would assume by 5 months his immune system should be pretty decent now? He's had all his vaccines that he's able to so far. Gosh it's such a mine field!

OP posts:

GemmaRuby · 31/12/2021 10:22

Glad this has helped a bit OP. It’s really difficult to get the right balance between caution and not worrying too much.

I unfortunately do know a baby who died at a few weeks old from herpes simplex. But it is incredibly rare and it’s really those first few weeks and months when babies are most vulnerable.

As you say, your baby will have started building up his immune system and will be much more robust now. I think your approach is sensible - not deliberately kissing him on the mouth but not avoiding it if he kisses you. My 8 month old loves slobbering all over my face

EishetChayil · 31/12/2021 11:02

I have never kissed my toddler DD on the lips. The very idea strikes me as a bit weird. Cheeks, absolutely. Top of head, yes. But lips - no.

FTEngineerM · 31/12/2021 11:05

I kiss them both on the lips snotty nose

They’re 3m and 18m, I don’t have a choice with the 18m old though he kisses me all the time it’s so cute.

MissyB1 · 31/12/2021 11:07

We’ve always kissed ds on the lips, cheeks and forehead, never thought twice about it! He’s 13 now and still kisses us goodnight (completely instigated by him) on the lips. He comes to us to kiss goodnight.

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