Can anyone help with my transition back to work please? I'm struggling to cope.

[Sofiegiraffe]

I've been on maternity leave since March and I'm due back at work next week. I'm starting to feel really stressed and anxious and have managed to convince myself I won't be able to cope with juggling it all. I've also convinced myself that my baby will forget about me and/or think I've abandoned her in childcare. I am going to miss her so badly, I haven't left her with anyone except her Dad or the childminder for longer than 3 hours so far, only a handful of times, and I was incredibly anxious the whole time. I have to leave her for 8 hours next week, the whole day. I'm considering quitting my job it's so unbearable.

Can anyone please help or talk to me about it? My head is such a mess and my heart is really hurting.

Does childminder know how anxious you are? Can she let you call occasionally or send a photo. She will be fine and there's no feeling better than when they welcome you home. You can eat and pee and think for a second.

I know it may not seem like it now but going back to work was one of the best decisions I ever made. I went back when my DD was 8 months old and I really needed it. I missed her like crazy but it made me appreciate her even more.

My DD is 19 months now and I’m still working (3 days a week), she doesn’t forget me and the greeting I get when I pick her up is so amazing.

I'm due back in May and having all the same thoughts and feelings. I'm also considering not going back at all 😭

Just take it in stages. Rather than quit now, just tell yourself that you’re going to give it a chance, a week, then two weeks etc. Once you settle into a new routine and you see things working okay it’ll be fine. At the moment it probably just feels too daunting and overwhelming because it’s such a big change.

I’ve just gone back to work much earlier than I wanted to (baby only 5.5 months old) and I was literally dreading it but it’s not so bad.

Will you be full time or partime or working from home or outside of the home?

Your baby will be fine. I was very worried when I went back full-time when my first was only 7 months. She thrived at the childminders. I brought money into the household that made our weekends and holidays fun and provided opportunities and she saw her mother having a career and providing for the family. She had such fun and an fantastic early education with her childminder. Our bond was unaffected but she had some great new relationships with the childminder, her family and the other mindees. I'm on my second maternity leave now (oldest is 6) and having longer off this time. I'm not sure how my full-time role will work with two kids but I'm going to give it a go for a bit.

OP, I was there. I went back to work full time in November and my DS started full time nursery. Prior to that he never left my side since he was born. Settling in first 2 weeks were a bit tough, but after that he actually enjoys nursery very much and has so much fun there. Nursery did wonders for his solids intake, he started eating reasonable amounts with all the peer pressure of his little mates there! I miss him during the day, but work has actually been good. As pp said, you will get some headspace to pee in peace and enjoy a cup of hot coffee. Also, it actually made me a better mum for times when he is with me. I am a lot more enthusiastic about doing stuff with him and we have lots of fun.

As your DD already goes to childminder it may not be such a big issue, but nursery illnesses when they start are lethal. I found that to be the hardest part.