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Parenting

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Husband can’t deal with three year old

7 replies

JennyFrog123 · 29/12/2021 20:50

Hi all, I’m in serious need of some advice. My husband who is a little older (in his 50s) finds it extremely difficult to deal with our 3 1/2 year old, especially when he throws a tantrum. My husband gets frustrated, extremely impatient and starts having a go at him - he basically doesn’t know how to stay calm. My son has now started saying that he’s scared of dad. It breaks my heart. He wants his father to love him and play with him but my husband so often doesn’t have the patience for it. For example, he tells our son how to play a certain game, e.g. stack some blocks and if he doesn’t do it “right” he rolls his eyes and huffs and puffs which in turn really frustrates our son to the point that he has a fit and stars throwing things at his dad in anger. I’ve told my husband that he frustrates him but provoking others is something that my husband also does. This is hugely annoying as it is but unacceptable when it comes to our child. Having said all that, I know my husband loves our son and would give his last penny and right arm for him but he cannot cope with him being a young child.

I really worry that my son’s relationship with his father will be damaged and his own self confidence will suffer.

The other point to mention is that - as a joke - my husband and I took an autism test after we watched a documentary recently. My score was very low and his, well, on the lower end of the spectrum. This explains some of his behaviour, I suppose.

My question to the group here is whether anyone knows of any organisations I can talk to for professional help? I’ve been watching this since my son was born and it hurts to see him scared and frustrated with his father.

Any other advice??

Thank you!!

OP posts:
Snoopsnoggysnog · 29/12/2021 20:56

You took an autism test for a joke?

JennyFrog123 · 29/12/2021 20:57

Wrong wording - I wanted to see what our scores would be and maybe I had some suspicions about my husband.

OP posts:
WheelieBinPrincess · 29/12/2021 21:19

Im not sure not being able to remain calm with a challenging three year old is necessarily an autistic trait!

Forget the arm chair autism diagnosis, or at least put it aside, would he d’obséder parenting classes?

Interested in this thread?

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WheelieBinPrincess · 29/12/2021 21:19

Sorry- would he consider.

JennyFrog123 · 29/12/2021 21:43

I’m not sure he would but maybe I should look into it - overall he thinks our three year old is not normal though. We have no such feedback from the nursery that there is anything developmentally and behaviourally wrong with him and he is the calmest and kindest child when he is on his own with me.

OP posts:
WheelieBinPrincess · 29/12/2021 22:37

Im sure there isn’t anything wrong with him- the three year old that is.

nonono1 · 29/12/2021 23:06

overall he thinks our three year old is not normal though.

What do you mean, not normal? Confused

Sorry but there’’s something about this thread that doesn’t sit right with me.

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