Controversial question

[WJM2020]

Hi all.
I have a 15 month old and whilst I have no intention whatsoever in doing what I'm about to write, I would like some feedback (please be nice) and guidance on what to do.
DS currently in his no cot, all good. When the time comes to take the side off his cot and pop up a side barrier thingy I know for a fact that he will climb out of bed and try to escape(he's already trying it now!)
My DS's bedroom is at the top of our stairs.
Baby gate at the top of the stairs already in place. If I put a baby gate on his door too it still won't stop him from escaping. He is already a wannabe stunt man and rock climber and attempts to get over the baby gate already!
My absolute fear is that he is going to climb over the baby gate that will be fitted on his bedroom and then over the baby gate at the top of the stairs, which equals a most likely very banged up child with possible broken bones and god knows what other damage on his way down the stairs!
We are right at the other end of the landing and whilst we have a baby monitor what if we don't hear him, or get to him in time?
My little boys door is fully closed each night and has been since he went into his own room. His room being at the top of stairs and the stairs are in our lounge, so having a closed door means less noise he can hear to disturb him.
Anyway, my controversial question is, there is a lock on his door (it was there when we moved in) and given his bedroom door is already shut, when the time comes, do I lock it in order to keep him safe?
Or is this going to be deemed me imprisoning my own child in his room, child services being called etc etc? He won't know any different, he just won't be able to get out of his room and nice he goes to bed.
I'm trying to think of a safe and acceptable way to keep my child in his room once he is old enough and tall enough to climb out of bed and over the baby gate.

I'm asking for help and guidance, so please be kind.

Thank you in advance everyone 💙

No, you can't lock him in.

My DS didn't climb over the gate on his door until he was well over 3, so I don't think you need to worry about that yet.

No sure about that one. Could you get a mattress sensor so that you know when he's out of bed instead?

His safety comes first but it may be pretty distressing if he woke up to do the dangerous climb and can’t get out?
Aren’t there double height baby gates around?
Hope you find a solution

What baby gates are you buying?! My son is nearly 3 and a half and cannot even begin to climb over the stair gate that stops him getting out of his room & the one that stops him from getting to the stairs. And he has weekly gymnastics training!

Argos do extra tall pet gates for large dogs. Pretty much the same as a baby gate but higher. Could reduce the risk of climbing

Raise the baby gate off the floor so that it’s not high enough to get under but he can’t get over. You cannot lock his door, what if there was a fire?

Don't raise the gate up - he might try and climb under and get stuck (I'm a paramedic and have seen this happen). Best to get a tall gate if he can climb over

My DD was a ''climber'' too... climbed out of her cot bed well before she was 2. I'll never forget the day she escaped during her day time nap... the mattress was on lowest setting, sides almost as high as her. She had piled her teddies at one end and used them as a 'step' to climb over the head board onto a dresser and then down the rocking chair.. onto her bed room floor. She'd then got over the stair gate. She was 20 months old.

In the end I put the stair gate on her door up off the floor, not so high she could get under it but high enough she couldn't get over it and started teaching her to go down the stairs on her bottom. I did look for a higher stair gate but no luck 12 years ago!

No you can't lock him in but you need to take the gate away from the top of the stairs. Gates are more dangerous than the alternative once they start to climb them and gates at the top of stairs are simply lethal in that circumstance. A bell on his door can alert you if he tries to escape

Don’t lock him in as it’s a fire issue.
Safety gates should be good until 3 years old. The bed guard won’t be very effective as they don’t go from head to foot of the bed (even short toddler beds) so the toddler usually just crawls to the foot of the bed and slides off the bed that way.
Our daughters were in a loft conversion and we just closed their bedroom door. There was a safety gate at the top of their stairs. The door handle to their room was fairly high though. Can he reach the door handle?

Some sort of alarm that sounds when his bedroom door is opened?

What about a dog gate instead of a normal baby stair gate? They are much taller

On his room, I mean.

Yep either dog gate or door alarm. Locked bedroom doors are a fire hazard.

I had a friend who had an escape artist daughter in the end she removed all stair gates and put her in a cot bed from a very early age as it was safer. No harm came to her. My DS wasn’t a climber but my younger DD was.

Also if your dc is physically capable of climbing the gate (plenty are at 2) then they are physically capable of being taught to go down the stairs safely. Make that a priority

No: fire risk.
You can buy taller dog gates.

Get a tall pet gate.If a fully grown Border Collie cant jump the pet gate,your DS will not be able to get over it.I think you worry too much,your DS most likely will not be able to get over a baby gate.

Can you put a new door on or change the existing one to have the handle where he can’t reach it? Or mine have handles that twist to open rather than pull down - my 3 year old hasn’t worked it out yet.

Someone else mentioned up thread but a movement detection mat (under the mattress) might help. Intended for when the child is younger, but we still use ours and it loudly alerts us when our child (2) gets out of their toddler bed. Might not work on all types of bed, we’ve had no issues though. Or the bell on the door sounds like a good idea too. Locking them in - no.

Thank you all so much for your comments and advice.
I think the tall baby gate and bell may be the solution.
He's super tall for his age now (95th centile) and he is centimetres away from the door handle now when he reaches up, which is why I'm starting to worry.
I didn't even know they did tall dog gates (and I have a dog!) so probably the best and safest solution going forward!
I'll be sure to purchase one when the time comes to remove the side off his cot bed

Thank you again, you've all been super helpful x

One piece of advice for fellow parents of climber toddlers... make sure windows have restrictors on how far they can be opened on all floors. Seeing my 1yo escape out of a window (thankfully ground floor) is amusing in hindsight, but wasn't at the time....

Some small children can and do climb over gates/cot sides well before 3. In my experience, once they've shown they can climb over it, the safest thing to do is remove it and then work out how to make things safe. When we took the sides off DC's cot, we didn't bother with a bed guard but instead put a mattress next to the bed. DC only ever fell out twice whilst asleep and both times just carried on sleeping. (We did go through a painful period of about 6 weeks of having to sit at the top of the stairs at bedtime for ages as DC kept testing the boundaries of getting out of bed rather than going to sleep, but that novelty eventually wore off).

I agree with PP about teaching them how to go down stairs safely being a priority.

Remember too that your DC's communication skills, both listening/understanding and speaking, will change so much over the next year and that will also help you manage what comes.

DD started climbing out of her cot at 18 months, that was too dangerous so we took the side off. She has also started opening doors around same age.
Have tried tall dog gate, normal baby gate, nothing stops her. If anything it annoyed her even more.
We have decided to keep her door shut and just be extra vigillant (keep our door open sometimes) to be able to hear if she leaves the room.
In 5 months I don't think she's ever left the room. She gets out of bed, opens the door and waits until she is picked up.
A nightlight is also a must once the sides are off so that little legs can see where they are going.

Do stairs lessons a few times a day so he knows what to do if he ever escapes and gets to the stairs alone. I let mine climb up and down with me right next to her - teaching her to hold the bannister and to sit on each step and move down that way. The odd time she would stumble and i would catch her but the mistakes helped her learn how to go up and down safely.