Child having a phone

[kylierose]

My daughter is 9 and has time split between me and her dad.
She's been asking for a phone.
Personally I think she's a tad young but what age is good for a child to have a phone?
Thanks

I see no reason for a 9 yr old to have a phone.

Round me they all get them for starting high school at 11. So thats what we did. Also shared care 50/50 here.

They do start asking for them early though. But we said no.

Just before secondary school round here.

My 9 year old has a phone. She's also at an age where the school allow them to walk to school alone. (Although I'm not ready for that).

Their future as adults is all about technology, if anything you're only advancing your child by letting them navigate phones, iPads etc etc, they can learn a lot!

It's up to the parent to monitor and keep them safe.

Phones are good.

Just given my 11 yo DS his first phone for his birthday. The majority of the kids in his year got one for Xmas ready for secondary. A few had them earlier as they started walking to school alone. I wouldn't have given mine a phone earlier as I'm really worried about bullying, porn, violent content and needed him to be mature enough to abide by the rules we set out for him around phone use. We're still a bit apprehensive but prefer we have 9 months of figuring it out with him whilst he's still at primary and more compliant than he'll be once he gets to big school.

Agree with PP. Gave DD a phone when she was half way through Y6 and walking home. She happened to be 10.5yrs at the time (young in her year). Wanted her to establish good 'phone behaviours' whilst at primary school - because so much to process with the move to Secondary. So thought a few months before Secondary school started was a good time for a phone.

End of primary here. My youngest finished primary during all the Covid closures and got her phone a little early, so she could make sure she had her friends numbers.

My observation amongst my daughters friends was those with separated parents got them around 8-10 (English years 4/5) and those with just one home got them around 10-11 (yrs 5/6). Quite a few also got them in lockdown. Those without them in Yr6 borrow their parents to talk on WhatsApp or similar.

My 9 year old wants a phone so he can call...me and his dad and that's pretty much it! So no, he doesn't have one.

He does however split his time between myself and his dad, so he has a tablet on which he can FaceTime and message me when he's not with me. It only works on wifi so I don't have to pay a contract for it.

I got my first phone when I was that age… but bare in mind I’m 28 so phones 20 years ago were VERY different to what they are now. I could only call or text on mine, I don’t think a primary-aged child needs a smartphone.

My kids have had phones since that age. They've been able to speak to both parents whenever they want depending on who's house they are at.

Ds got a phone for his 10th birthday - we have a middle school system here so he started walking himself to and from school now hence wanting him to have a phone. Otherwise I probably would have waited a little bit longer. He can’t do much on it though, he has a few games on there, can call and send messages (doesn’t have WhatsApp on anything ) and I have blocked most of the internet much to his disgust!
But I don’t like the idea of him walking alone even though it’s only 10m without having a way to contact or be contacted so it was inevitable really.

I think it.is a different scenario having separated parents, I can understand why your DD would want to contact the other parent when she isn't with them. Could you get her a cheap PAYG phone for texting/calling only?

Or a tablet like Shirley's DS?

DD got a phone aged 9.5. She only used it really for homework and to phone for a lift after her drama rehearsals. Then lockdown came and she was so glad of it as an only child.
I agree with the point about establishing healthy phone behaviours a year or so prior to secondary school - it's a huge change, friendships bend and sway and you have whatsapp groups coming at you from everywhere.
She's in Y7 now. Doesn't have Snapchat, Insta or TikTok.

Fine for a simple pay as you go 'brick' that she can text and call either parent on when she's with the other parent.
No need for a smartphone or friends' numbers at this age.

Mine is now Yr 8 but got her first phone in Yr6, WhatsApp was blocked though as there were many a sleepover and numbers would be added to new group chats and all that crap, so I didn't allow it until later.
In Yr7 she wasn't allowed to join any group chats either except for a small group of friends, but I changed the settings so it was invite only on her phone. I use Family Link on it so it sets limits etc for how long she can use and when it turns off.

Some games were allowed but Internet was mostly blocked, much to her disgust but she has access to the desktop in our living room any time she requires and she uses it. Tiktok and all that crap are blocked. Fortunately she has shown little interest in it.

For seperated kids, I'd simply put the phone away when they were with me if I didn't want them to have a phone.

"Advancing your child" giving them a phone at 9?
Have heard it all now.