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Parenting

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Original poster

Any advice on how to cope with two under two?

10 replies

Newmumlake · 26/12/2021 21:43

I have one dc at 9 months and discovered im expecting again. Im overall happy with this news. Im feeling very happy with two and would like to keep it as two but wasnt planning on another so soon. Having two under two feels daunting and i am anxious about it. Id say i struggled the first 8 weeks when becoming a mum for the first time - mainly the adjustment and lack of sleep. Im anxious about how i will cope in the early days. Does anyone have any advice please?

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Mummyof2Terrors · 26/12/2021 22:02

Mine are exactly 18 months apart and other than being organised, sadly, you just have to get on with it. Get a baby carrier for the youngest so you're hands free for toddler and get out of the house as much as possible!

FindingMeno · 26/12/2021 22:04

Prepare as much in advance for the first few weeks and remember you will manage. It'll be busy but you will come up with strategies that suit you.
Congratulations!

witchimon · 26/12/2021 22:27

Get a good double buggy.
Lower your expectations- my eldest watched far too much tv in the first few months but it was more about survival and not losing my mind!
Those church hall toddler groups were a godsend, take the baby in the sling and let the older one run about, there is always someone happy to watch your eldest if you need to change a nappy.

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Babdoc · 26/12/2021 22:36

Only 16 months between my two. They are now in their thirties, but it was quite hard work when they were little. Especially as my DH died before the younger reached her first birthday.
I would recommend getting a playpen, OP, so you have somewhere safe to put the baby while you are dealing with the toddler, or to isolate them from each other while you answer the door or go to the loo.
Try not to make the toddler jealous of the baby - I always sat mine next to me on the sofa while baby was feeding, and read her a story or sang nursery rhymes etc, so she didn’t feel left out.
I found toddler reins v helpful too, so the baby could go in the buggy and the toddler could walk alongside - but as she was only 16 months and still a bit unsteady, I could pull up on the reins if she stumbled, so she didn’t fall and scrape her knees on the pavement.
It’s all rather hard work while they are both in nappies- they never seemed to synchronise bowel movements, and some days you feel you are never off your knees by the changing mat, but you get through it somehow!
And it’s great to have a v small age gap, as they like the same things. Both will be happy with toddler activities, where an older sibling would get bored and find it babyish.

Moonbabysmum · 27/12/2021 15:00

Tbh, having a toddler often makes a newborn seem pretty easy - it just didn't seem like it the the first time round because you'd not done it before

Toddler plus newborn I found far far easier than either pregnancy plus toddler or 2 toddlers. Using a sling was very much essential with 2 though and allowed me to meet their needs simultaneously.

GTAlogic · 27/12/2021 15:08

Make a pack-up for yourself and your toddler in the evening so you can have sandwiches etc in the middle of the day without too much hassle - dh used to do ours when he was making his own for work. Also get a flask so you have a hot drink available.

Don't worry too much about the mess.

Put the baby somewhere out of the way of the toddler (e.g. a swing chair) so you know they're safe when you go to the loo or whatever.

When they're both crying at the same time, go to the toddler first because they're the one who'll strop most and who'll remember.

Get the toddler involved in things like nappy changing. I got dc1 a doll and he put a nappy and cream on that when I was changing dc2.

Go out. Get a double buggy (ours was a long one so I could get through narrow doorways and shop aisles) so you have somewhere to strap the toddler in when they're tired or when you have to change or feed the baby.

Let the toddler watch TV. It's fine, honestly.

Give your toddler 1:1 time as much as you can but also encourage them to join in and play with the baby. Point out when the baby is watching them and that it means the baby loves them.

user1493494961 · 27/12/2021 15:11

You just get on with it.

JanglyBeads · 27/12/2021 15:54

When they're both crying at the same time, go to the toddler first because they're the one who'll strop most and who'll remember.

I guess that needs to be taken with some caveats and definitely not 100% of the time....

GTAlogic · 27/12/2021 17:49

@JanglyBeads

When they're both crying at the same time, go to the toddler first because they're the one who'll strop most and who'll remember.

I guess that needs to be taken with some caveats and definitely not 100% of the time....

I would have thought that didn't need to be said tbh.

NoraLuka · 27/12/2021 17:58

Agree with posters who said get a good double buggy and a playpen, especially when you get to the stage when they can both walk/crawl but can’t be left alone.

Go out a lot. Let them watch tv.

Make sure you have some time to yourself, even if you have to pay someone to look after them otherwise you go crazy always having to keep an eye on them all the time.

I found it got easier once they were both out of nappies and could eat by themselves (with supervision obviously) then easier again once they could play independently a bit.

DDs have 15 months between them, they are teenagers now and I look back at having 2 under 2 with rose tinted glasses 😁

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