I'm really struggling with being a mum

[B9r0kre]

My beautiful daughter is 8 months old, and the last 2 months I feel empty, alone and broken.

As soon as my husband leaves for work, I totally break down and cry all day. He doesn't understand or get when I'm crying, or struggling.. his response is always 'You have a nice house, Nice car.. just keep yourself busy with the house and our daughter' so I'm always hiding how I'm feeling because he just doesn't sympathise with things like that. I've only ever had a few hours to my self in 8 months.. and that was to get my coil fitted in 2 weeks ago.. all I want is to do is curl up and disappear. My daughter does nothing but cry when she's with me, and that's only a recent thing, and I just sit there in emptiness thinking 'I need to leave, or I wish I wasn't a mum' because the crying goes through me. I felt today like I was going to throw her because she wouldn't stop crying, and In my head I think I shouldn't be a mother!!! Ever since I was a child I dreamt of being a wife, a husband and at first I absolutely loved it.. but now I cant think of anything worse

I've recently been feeling she would be better off without me, that her dad would be much better because he's so patient and loving with her it breaks my heart. I have 1 friend who lives 2 hours away, and the same with family. I just feel so underapreciated.

I'm not sure what Advice I'm looking for, all I know is that I had to just let it out xx

Awe- it's so difficult isn't it.
I second Reindeers advice- that was my coping strategy- try to get out every day.
I used to go to do something each morning. Tricky at the moment- I'd imagine some things are still cancelled, but a group of friends made such a difference.
Good luck.

Put her in her cot and walk to another room for a break.
Find a nursery and book her in for a half day / day a week to give yourself a break.
Join a baby group to meet some chums.
Be honest and tell people you are really struggling and then they can help you.
Good luck. You can do this.

I agree @1ofthosedayz. The OP may have superimposed PND (and hence should speak to her GP as a matter of urgency). But what’s described here sounds far more like complete burn out, loneliness and loss of identity, secondary to the unrealistic societal expectation for new mothers to care for babies in isolation (and love every minute). The realities of the early years of parenting are miles away from the idealistic dream that’s sold.

I agree that it doesn’t necessarily
Sound like PND, rather it’s a depressing situation day in day out. If I hadn’t gone back to work I imagine I’d have similar thoughts. Can you go back to work?

Yes I think we have all been there OP. Looking after a baby is so demanding and hellish at times. But it will pass. Do you have close friends or relatives who can help? Also you really need to go to the GP of you think your better off not here or speaking in those terms.
When the baby cries too much to bear just pop them in the cot and close the door, make yourself a cuppa tea safe in the knowledge that the screaming is just for attention. There is loads online about crying infants. Sometimes it’s best to just lay a baby down to scream it’s little heart out.
I think it’s probably been a shock to your system but things will get easier in time. You have to harden yourself to the crying. Good luck x

UPDATE:
It's been up and down this week, managed to speak to GP and thanks setraline will help but I've gone out everyday this week so far and that's definitely helped.. even nipping to the corner shop. I opened up to my OH, and he called me a miserable person who has no reason to be down. So, that went down like a Wet fart and now I'm loosing the patience. I was up all night last night, and been downstairs since 4am, did the shopping this morning and he only just woke up when I got back. And he has the cheeks to go back to bed just an hour after waking up... Last night I asked him to bath our DD, but he said 'Leave me alone'. Sorry for the half positive half negative post. I'm going to the park for a walk to calm down, thankyou to all of you ❤

I'm glad this week has been better.

I know a lot of other posters have mentioned depression but I've been in your shoes and I wasn't depressed. I hated looking after my LO. I found being a mum to a baby sole destroying so at 8/9 months I found a new job (we'd relocated) and I sent her to a childminders three days a week. Having some time to myself, as well as the sense of accomplishment from work was amazing. She's now 2.5 and we're only just starting to have fun. She's now into dressing up and her vocabulary, as well as her imagination, is amazing so we're able to go on lots of pretending adventures - which is something I finally enjoy.

If we look at parenting logically we aren't going to enjoy every stage. If you throw in an unsupportive husband, lots of crying and no down time into the mix its natural for your well-being to suffer.

When both of my DSs were 8 months it was a dark/depressing time simply just because of what 8 month olds are like, so please don't feel bad. Any mums who are 'oh this is so lovely I'm soo blessed!' Will either have a difficult time with the second one and are completely oblivious, have a nanny, nursery care 5 days a week, or extremely helpful and hands on grandparents. The saying it 'takes a village' is so relevant to those first 3 years. Pre-school was a game changer for me, I know you're a long way off from that, but if you're thinking of nursery or childcare for your little one it might really help you mentally.

Your DH sounds awful

I expect your MH would be better without your twat of a husband.

Sertraline is great, I take it myself. But I suspect losing your awful husband will be the best thing for you.

Hi, I feel exactly the same and would love to know how you got on, I feel so alone

hi, I would love to know how you got on I feel exactly the same and feel so alone **

Ur not alone beautiful

And you will get through this .... ur mind can the a horrible place but please fight through it! You have a lot to live for 🩷🩷🩷