Parents with young kids and full time jobs - how do you

[december2020]

find time to exercise?

DS is 13 months and isn't old enough to really sit and chill for 20-30mins so I could do a home workout while looking after him.

I struggle to do a workout once DS in bed as it's usually past 8pm and I'm much more motivated in the mornings.

With working full time (WFH at the moment) but between work, dog walks, nursery runs, a quick lunch, and a pile of deadlines, I'm struggling to find how to plan where to fit a workout.

DH works but can't WFH and works long hours, on days he's off he does daddy day care. But he works shifts so some weekends he's off and sometimes he's working so I can't commit to a weekend class/group.
We have no close family or friends nearby to help to look after him.

So please - how do you do it? Where do you fit it in? Help me!

Following as am looking for an answer to exactly this! In summer I got up early abs went for a run before work. But now it's so dark I don't want to be outside alone. So exercise has fallen by the wayside. Debating getting a treadmill so I can run indoors early mornings

It either happens before everyone wakes up at about 6am ish or during a lunch break (wfh)
I do HIIT for minimum time / maximum results.
I also bought a juicer last January which has revolutionised my digestive system ha.

06:30-07:00 on weekdays. If I miss, it has to be done at lunch.

There’s no other available time when I’m capable.

I didn't really do much until the youngest was 3 and reliably slept until 7am. I think the main thing is to forgive yourself, prioritise sleep and healthy nutrition as it IS completely possible to "not have time" to exercise.

Like the people who say it's easy to sleep train, or manage toddlers, or work FT and have a clean house... it might be, for some people, and for others it might not be. And if you really can't, for these few years, you'll have to walk with the buggy, take 5min to stretch, take care of yourself in other ways until the time opens up more.

As long as you are honest with yourself about what you can and can't manage, and you're not hiding behind excuses (only you can know if you are or not)- I think it's no shame to have have a few years where you are not so fit.

My children are now 9 and 10 and I run 3 x per week and swim, it fits into my life so I am not stressed. When they were 18m, it wasn't something I could do.

It's very hard. I'm single so can't actually leave the house to go to the gym or go for a run without getting a sitter - which I can't afford. So I exercise at home in the early morning and try to take walks at my lunch hour. That's it. I'm still overweight and fairly unfit - the penance of being a single parent working FT.... you have to compromise on things like leisure, hobbies and exercise.

Could you exercise in the time you would have previously spent commuting? (If you’ve only switched to wfh since the pandemic).

Do some exercises in the playground for a few minutes.

Do a few sit ups or stretches/weights in a break between meetings.

When you do cleaning put loads of energy into it.

Put Hey Duggee, the Stick Badge on Iplayer and dance around like a loon.

Go out for a quick run or brisk walk for 20 minutes. Or do a HIIT workout.

Get a running buggy or cycle seat for going to nursery.

Extend the dog walks and make it a brisk walk?

Can you walk to nursery? Or even drive there and walk back (depending on distance)

Make yourself work out in the evening after bedtime. Definitely harder harder motivate yourself but seems like only option. If you find a class you love that will help.

It does usually come down to priorities. Most people can squeeze in half an hour here and there, you can do a really good workout in half an hour. Most people seem to squeeze in time to browse their phone and watch Netflix!

Exercise is a very high priority for me as I know how much better it makes me feel physically and mentally. I work ft, have 2 young kids and DH and I have no family support so it’s up to us to manage it between us. I go to the gym 6-7am 3-4 mornings a week and for a long run early Sat/Sun he goes in the evening 2-3 evenings a week (around kids activities) and does a long run early on the other weekend morning. We make sure that exercise doesn’t have too much of an impact on our time as a family. DH used to do triathlons and we know so many triathlete families who drag their kids around so they can spend their whole weekends competing, we knew that wasn’t for us when we had kids. We are active as a family and swim, bike and walk a lot together.

Things I prioritise exercise over are sleep as my 3 year old is a crap sleeper but to combat that I go to bed at 9pm most days. Drinking too much alcohol, as that will write off my morning workout and watching tv, I don’t watch anything tbh but I don’t care.

I have many friends who say they want to exercise but can’t possibly do it first thing as they would have to go to bed early and miss quality time with their DH. Tbh I don’t see sitting and watching Netflix as quality time! DH and I are much happier prioritising our sleep and exercise.

I would highly recommend you try a few different ways of fitting it in, stick with each for a few weeks. For example, if you go with first thing it does take a while for that to feel ok, don’t give up after 2 days. Plus, if you have a really bad night with the kids, missing a session isn’t an issue if you are generally consistent at other times.

Running was the only exercise I could fit on when mine were that age. 30 mins, 2-3 times a week, while my DH got them tea/ready for bed or first thing at the weekend while DH does breakfast. I don't know how anyone has time to do classes or go to the gym.

Mine are older but when mine were little I did nothing but walking (around town, not country walks) for years. I had 3 under 5 for a while which didn't help. Once DS was about 2 I started doing exercise againand still do the same routine. I swim at 6.30am before work and do yoga on youtube at the weekend. For a while I did a yoga class at work at lunchtime which was great but Covid scuppered that. Every evening we are driving teenagers from sporting activity to sporting activity so no time in the evening for me to attend classes unfortunately.

@Jk987 when my little one was sleeping badly I always found that starting my day with exercise and a shower energised me much more than that extra hours sleep did. The only time I couldn't manage was when he went through a horrific phase of waking at 5 for the day, there was no way in earth I would set an alarm for 4am to fit it in!
I work full time and just found that at the end of a day of work I couldn't face exercising so it was early mornings or never.

I have to say when he was a newborn though I did have a good 4/5 months where exercise wasn't on my radar at all except for daily walk with the pram. And I imagine will be same with this one too (currently pregnant)

I'm not doing any exercise just now but I did join a gym once I started back work after maternity leave.

I used to go on my lunch break (it is only 5mins away in the car). If I was too busy at work I wld try and finish early and then pick up the kids from nursery on my way back. Wld also go one day at the wkend and dh wld watch the kids. It's hard to find the time but u just need to put in the effort and have a partner that is willing to help.

If I want to exercise, I do it in the morning before everyone wakes up as I know I'll be too tired in the evening. I'm talking 5-5.30am I wake up and hit the gym for an hour and then come home at 7am to get ready for my day, if I'm going into the office I'll do my workout at home so I can start earlier (I bought equipment during lockdown if I'm doing weights or I run with my dog).

I do this three weekdays and then workout at the weekends too. It's tiring and on top of a full work day I'm in bed passed out by 9pm but it's a routine that's worked for me for years x

I think you have to go with what is possible. When you have tiny kids and are physically and mentally knackered, not sleeping, kids waking at 5am, serious exercise is a challenge. If all you can do is 10 mins brisk walking with the buggy that’s fine: increase it when you can. My youngest is 3 and has only just stopped waking at 5am so I now have energy for a 1 h class at the weekend when my DH looks after them. The rest of the week it’s a 20 minute brisk walk in my lunch break or a too-slow walk with the kids.

Also don’t understand how people do it in the morning. Even when I get up at 6 it is a full on rush to get kids ready for school/childcare without trying to do exercise too.

@Soraya5 It depends if you have a useful DH in the morning. Mine gets up with the kids and starts getting them sorted. I’m back in at 7 and we generally share the whole routine (as much as possible done the night before,) until we leave the house 7.50-8ish.

If you have a DH who is out of the house or (more likely from reading on here, useless or you are a control freak that won’t let him do anything because he won’t do it the way you would). Then it will be trickier.

I think you also have to be a fairly low maintenance person to be able to fit it in. I wouldn’t have time for the makeup and hair regimes of many of my friends.

Even when I get up at 6 it is a full on rush to get kids ready

You've answered your own question. You get up earlier than 6.

Thank you everyone!! and sorry for the late reply.

You've given me so much inspiration and things to try out to make exercise a habit again!
I'm going to try a few different options and hopefully find something that works for me but also that I enjoy doing (like seeing how I could do a 20-30min weights workout at home).

Also thank you for making me realise I'm not the only person who's struggling with this and it does hopefully get better once DS is older and a bit more self sufficient for 30mins.

You're right, it's definitely something I need to prioritise for myself and my well-being and I feel infinitely better after having done some exercise.

It's hard isn't it. I have a husband that leaves for work at 5 and I always have lots to do for work in the evening, before even thinking about housework as well! I know I would feel better if I exercised more , trying to get to an exercise class occasionally, and walk more where possible.