Toddler obsessed with TV and screens

[nearlythere33]

I’m a SAHM to a lovely 22 month old boy. Two months ago I came down with a bad case of Covid and was really quite unwell. Because of this I did very little with my toddler as we were stuck at home for 10 days and I wasn’t well enough to do much for two more weeks after that. It was really hard keeping him entertained and I ended up turning to screens in order to keep him occupied.

Now I’m feeling much better and have stepped up the activities and park time, but whenever he’s at home he just wants to watch TV. He’ll point at the television in the lounge and ask for it repeatedly and also tries to take my phone, as he knows it can play videos.

I feel so terrible that I’ve allowed him to get into this bad habit and am unsure what to do. Should I introduce a blanket ban on TV and phones going forward? WWYD?

Don’t over worry about this. My first had very little TV as i was anxious about the effects it might have on him.

My youngest has watched a bit too much as the TV would be on for her older brothers. It doesn’t seem to have harmed her in any way. I don’t leave it on non stop but i use at at certain times in the day when i need a break!

My DD is the same. She’s had so much TV time over the last couple of years with various lockdowns, isolations, and trying to juggle working from home with childcare. We’ve just had to rely on it but she’s gotten so used to it that she’s now utterly obsessed, as soon as she goes into the living room she’s asking for the TV on, I would love to go back to the days before she knew about cartoons.

Im trying to limit to just a little bit in the morning while I’m getting the baby fed and changed, and then a bit again in the afternoon when I’m sorting dinner. I do find that in between those times I have to really keep her entertained with other activities, or get her out of the house, else she’ll just start asking for TV again and then I have to deal with the tantrum if I say no.
There are some days though where it just all goes to shit and she ends up watching Disney for hours. I’m trying to let go of the guilt around it and try again the next day.

Id ban them until he's much older personally. My son is a professional artist and would never have developed this skill if he'd been glued to a screen all day. As he didn't have screens he spent precious hours drawing and painting instead. Same with music or any other hobby.
Its quite worrying that my 11 year old cat has developed a screen addiction and wants.me to put cat videos on all the time. I'm not joking she pats my phone until I put mice or fish on. Shes very demanding.
If screens can do this do a cat what are they doing to a babys brain?

Yes
Ban them
Far too young

Can't read and run as I went through this-think around 18 months (also in lockdown). It was like she lost all interest in toys and being at home was REALLY difficult because she only wanted TV! So we had to be out (at parks!) all the time! It was a phase though and it passed. I used to beat myself up about tv time but now as long as she's done plenty of playing and had plenty of stimulation in other ways I don't mind her watching it for a couple of hours in bits across the day. Certainly after nursery etc she needs the down time! X

I wouldn't do a blanket ban, it's just not always a feasible option, plus screen time isn't the devil.

Ds (2yrs, so slightly older) asks for TV quite a lot, but he's totally obsessed with dinosaurs and construction vehicles, so dh and I try and distract him with toys and books. It's not totally foolproof and sometimes picking battles is easier and we end up watching Blippi or some other godforsaken children's TV show, but I figured an hour or 2 every other day isn't actually that bad. He doesn't understand phones yet, so isn't interested in them.

I totally understand why other posters are saying total ban, and if its possible, sure, but I genuinely don't think its feasible, especially when they've already been exposed.

Thanks all. I’m really worried I’ve affected his development. I could remove the TV altogether, but DH and I do enjoy watching it in the evenings to wind down!

It won't affect his development. It doesn't cause harm in itself, it's the time being taken up that could/would otherwise be spent on things like explorative play, activity, creativity etc. That can easily be made up from now on so don't worry. It would only be a problem if you decided it wasn't an issue and let TV be the main entertainment all the time.

Just cut it down and stick to predictable times with a set end point. For the first few days you'll probably have to direct a lot of the entertainment or be ready to redirect or suggest other activities but after that it should level out and regulate a bit.

To manage disappointment or tantrums you can say things like I know we normally have the TV on, but we're doing things differently today. Let's (suggestions). Or It can be hard to make a change.

Sometimes it helps to do a total cold turkey ban to break the cycle but in general no it's not a problem for young children to watch some TV. That's the only reason I could think of for doing a total ban.

It depends what you mean by watching. Our TV is probably on most of the day because I don't like a quiet house and the radio irritates me.

My 2.5 DD watches it for 5/10 minutes and then goes off to do something else, to draw or read or play with her toys, with glances up if there's some music or a programme she likes - she's not actually watching it constantly.

Doesn't seem to have affected her negatively.

I don’t think you have anything to worry about.

Stick to CBeebies (quality stuff with no adverts), and get physically away from screens when you can.

Mine had too much tv in lockdown, but now doesn’t care much about screens. I think that if I banned them or made them the focus of some sort of conflict, then he would want them more.

We just have set times for the TV and outside of that it's not switched on. It's easy to stick it on as anyone who parenting in lockdown knows but I find the certain times only a much better compromise than a total ban. Plus I can use the TV to my advantage - Zog buys me enough time to sort the dinner out and have a cup of tea in peace!

A few weeks of screen time will have zero affect on his development. Just use common sense and intersperse play times with some screen time. Used well with play with other children, play with yourself and playing alone, it can be beneficial.

Screens play a huge part in all our lives, so banning them completely is nonsense

I have never limited age appropriate screen time. Dd is nearly 5 and top of her class with reading and maths.

Because it’s never been a “no you can’t have the tv/tablet now” Dd has self regulated pretty well. She will often choose toys over a screen, but sometimes she just wants to veg out and watch fun kids stuff, and that’s fine too.

If she’s doing nothing else then we get out. But screens with good hands on play, imaginative play etc isn’t going to do any harm.

Dd is nearly 5 and top of her class with reading and maths.
It's not about reading and maths. Especially in four year olds. It's about attention spans and developing imagination.

This child isn't self regulating, and many of them can't. DS1 can't either. We still have limits on his screen use even though he is 13.

It could be to do with the content. Some children's TV particularly youtube and so on is honed to be addictive and stimulating, meaning they find it overstimulating and almost hypnotic rather than merely relaxing.

DD1 had barely seen children’s tv until lockdown 1, then DP was out at work and I was trying to teach from home. Usually she was at grandparents four days a week but obviously that wasn’t allowed back then. She very quickly was allowed to watch huge amounts of tv and play games on a tablet.

She’s just turned 3 and now it’s almost like that period of time overdosing on screens turned her off them. Yes she likes watching Paw Patrol etc, but she doesn’t obsess over it and actually likes to do things like colour or bead threading while it’s on, so it’s more like comforting background noise.

I don’t know if this would apply to every child, but out of her peers she’s the only one who can take or leave tech and much prefers playing with others, and I’ll always wonder if that’s because I didn’t limit it so it’s not a novelty.

Worrying about the impact on tv on children has been around since they were invented and we’ve all done alright. Don’t overthink it. Also don’t underestimate how educational tv can be on the right videos. I had a lockdown baby and we did lots of bbc baby club, mr tumble nursery rhymes and the sing and sign dvd. I loved doing those things with her and she’s 15 months and can say animal names do their noises and make the signs!
I really would just try and find a balance that works for you between screens and play and not worry too much!

He's very young to be sitting in front of a screen of any kind for long. Don't let him look at your 'phone, and perhaps only let him watch tv for very short periods, now and again. They are used far too often as a way to keep children quiet, but what it does is make them boring and dull. I say this because my own grandchildren want to look at stupid things on TikTok on their tablets all the bloody time. When they are at my house, we play board games or things like charades (your little one isn't old enough for those, I know).#

Encourage your little boy to look at books, play with jigsaws, cars, tea sets, Duplo bricks, etc.

A few weeks won’t make any difference but in your shoes I’d be limiting screen time- it is very rare for such a young child to be able to self-regulate. I’d particularly limit phones especially if you are using apps which are designed to be addictive such as YouTube.

Nothing wrong with a bit of age-appropriate tv but ideally it should be an activity you actively choose then turn the tv off when the programme is over, not just on all day. I think the risk is less that the tv is itself harmful but that it edges out everything else, including normal social interactions.

@SnowmanFace

Dd is nearly 5 and top of her class with reading and maths. It's not about reading and maths. Especially in four year olds. It's about attention spans and developing imagination.

If you continue reading my post you’ll see she chooses imaginative play over screen time as well.

When you make something off bounds you make it very interesting and desirable.

So screen time is never off bounds. And because of that it’s never been an addiction. Dd watches when she wants, but we also play, read, she plays independently (with imaginative play!) and is still atop of her class.