Help please

[Sandra1989]

My little girl is 7 weeks old and will not let me do anything during the day. She doesn’t like her bouncer, she won’t nap anywhere but on me or my partner, please tell me it’s normal and it passes. Generally we struggle to get her to nap as she won’t follow the wake windows and despite trying to put her down for naps will stay awake for long periods or if she falls asleep she won’t stay asleep longer than 30 minutes. It used to be better but the past week we are really struggling. Any advice would be appreciated. We tried swaddle, white noise, putting down when drowsy but awake, putting down when in deep sleep. I’m running out of ideas and can’t get anything done or get proper rest.

It is normal and it does pass xx

This was me about seven weeks back! In the end I do slept with DS for naps. How is she in the buggy?

Soft sling and give up all chores in favour of sitting on the sofa watching tv and snacking

It’s normal, and it passes!

I swear, 6-8 weeks is the HARDEST period with a little baby. The adrenaline rush from giving birth is all gone, the sleep deficit is building up, and the baby is soooooooo clingy. I found with all three of mine that life started feeling livable again sometime around 9-10 weeks, and by 12 weeks we were really starting to get back into the swing of things.

Be kind to yourself (and to each other!) at 7 weeks. If you and the baby are fed, washed, and clothed, you’re doing just fine. House and work stuff (if you have any) can wait a few more weeks. Things won’t be this hard forever!

Welcome to parenthood!

It'll get better, I promise. And I'm the blink of an eye she'll be asking you not to kiss her when you pick her up at school because you're "so embarrassing". 😁

During the walks she will eventually fall asleep in her pram but again for short periods 30-45 minutes. I’m just worried at this age she should be getting a lot more sleep but she’s really having none of it even when we try to follow wake windows

I’ve just launched 1.5 yo DS in the cot for the night ‘awake but drowsy’ knowing there is a pretty good chance he’ll sleep through the night. His nap is equally easy. Hard to believe this is the same baby who used to force me to do thousands of steps a day wearing a sling, or sit in a pitch black room, just to get one 27 minute nap into him. So yes, it does pass. But in my experience, you are in for a fair few more weeks or even months of crap naps and nights that take lots of effort, so my main advice would be alter your expectations about what is achievable with a newborn.

I have just looked up wake window as ever heard of it before. In the nicest possible way, your baby hasn't read any parenting guides and won't be following them. Neither of mine napped for as long as it is suggested that babies do, but both in different ways. One wouldn't sleep for longer than 45 minutes ever, which was absolutely brutal. But they all grow through it and now the same child sleeps so well they wouldn't notice if a brass band struck up next to them. Do whatever works best for your baby. If that means they don't want to be put down to nap, then adjust your expectations.

I want you to know what I wish someone had told me with DC1.
All babies need different amounts of sleep.
Some babies will sleep huge chunks at a time, with very little help from parents. Others cat nap and need constant touch or jiggling.

My first baby was a shit napper and shit sleeper, couldn't be put down etc and stopped naps early too so I didn't even get the benefit of a bit of peace and quiet when she had learned to sleep.

I worked myself into an awful tizz (HV diagnosed me with postnatal anxiety) just around sleep.
She told me her baby had only slept in small chunks too, and that it was perfectly fine. She said as long as the baby is happy and alert when awake then they're getting enough.
This helped me so much and when I heard this I finally accepted my lot.

When DC2 came along I just found it easier to accept what would be.

With both of mine, they needed either walking in pram, driving, or being in a sling to go to sleep.
I found this acceptable as I walked the dogs every day and did this around nap time, or other jobs/journeys.

Bottom line, babies are dicks hard work but everything is a phase and it all passes in the end.

It does pass! But it feels like it is going on for ever. Don't expect too much of yourself - a child you stops you doing anything is normal at this stage :)

What worked for us - Lots of use of sling, and for when we did put him down, as baby-suitable, washable sheepskin (a present from my mum and I will bless her forever for it - it was a bit expensive but a complete lifesaver!). I think we started by warming it a bit before putting him down - it seemed to be the temperature change contributing to waking up so easily.

My baby is 6 months and will still only have a decent nap on me🙈in pram/cot I get about 30mins🤦🏻‍♀️On me I get a hour or two. I have made my peace with it and accept that it won't be for forever. He absolutely smashes his overnight sleep tho and sleeps for 11hrs uninterrupted.

I’ve not heard of a wake window before either. So I doubt your baby has. My baby had to be held for months when he was tiny. Get a soft sling and just carry her. She just wants to be with you because you’re the best thing in the world ever and her entire universe.

It will pass, but potentially not for a while depending on your baby. My DS would only sleep on me or in a moving pram or car seat in the day until he was 8 months old. Now at 15 months he goes in his cot awake for naps and bedtime no bother, he also hated his bouncer etc until about 12 weeks so before then I got absolutely nothing done in the day, it was very claustrophobic. But try and make naptimes as restful as possible for you, get Netflix on or a good book if that’s more your thing and try and rest. It’s hard but some babies just need that extra help to sleep when they’re tiny, you will drive yourself mad trying to ‘fix’ it! Also as baby has to nap in the same room as you for 6 months it’s much nicer having a sleeping baby on you watching TV than having to sit in a dark room with a baby sleeping in their cot with white noise on!

Have you tried a dummy? I found the Tommy Tippee ones to be the best.
What bouncer do you have? Some can be over stimulating?

Her cot, is it small or big? Babies like a smaller space to begin.

A baby’s wake window is very small, but babies that don’t sleep can become over tired which may lead to them being more upset and awake for longer. Catch 22.

Check her tummy, is it hard? It could be wind. Rubbing it anti-clockwise while she lies down in bed can be soothing for her. Put your hand on her while she falls off to sleep in her bed. Sing to her and maybe gently rock her. Lullabies are great.
Put her down awake, so she knows where she is and doesn’t wake up with a fright.
If all else fails, try white noise.

Don’t give up on bed. You need to sleep and rest too. Just try lots of soothing techniques while she is in bed. She’ll get into the swing of it, once she knows she won’t always be picked up straight away.

No sorry, I made a mistake, please rub her tummy clockwise. Not anti.