Baby doesn't sit in anyones lap

[testy1997]

Help! My baby is 11 weeks old and she has always been high needs since birth. However she just won't sit in anyones lap at all like a normal newborn. She starts squirming and wants to be stood up or lying flat. Is this normal? Aren't newborns meant to just sit in your lap and cuddle?!

LOL OP

I was apparently like that, a happy birthday unless someone tried to cuddle me.

I'm still like that as an adult, I don't hug family and only one friend.

Baby's have personalities, not very big personalities but they definitely do have their own ideas.

Sorry I can't wave a magic wand.

A happy baby not birthday.

Aren't newborns meant to just sit in your lap and cuddle?!

Nope, newborns are not "meant" to do anything . You need to roll with the flow and just accept that your baby is still getting used to being out in the world. She'll do what makes her feel comfortable, not what you expect her to do . Just enjoy her and don't put your own expectations on her .

My ds hated being still. My sling was an absolute lifesaver!

Mine was exactly like this. Still not a hugger at 6, unless it's me or her dad. Used to find it hard at mum group catchup when all the mums would be sitting chatting with their babies in their laps and mine would be trying to launch herself out of my arms! She is very inquisitive even now and doesn't like to be still. Its just personality.

Mine was exactly like this, I stressed so much about it thinking it wasn’t “normal” now at 14 months she’s the cuddliest baby every and wants to be attached me to at all times!! Just go with it she might just be a baby who doesn’t like being restrained. She is too young to really understand affection.

Yep DS was like this. From about 4 weeks old he was only happy if being walked around, held outwards, facing the world. He still hates any form of restraint at 1.5. When people used to say ‘enjoy those newborn snuggles’ I didn’t know wether to laugh or cry.

Thanks everyone. I know I should be more relaxed about this it's just hard when people come over and she won't sit in their laps but is just trying to escape and stArts whinging, I'd also like for her to sit with me from time to time!

My daughter is 15 months and is exactly the same and has been from a similar age to your daughter. Always fighting out of people’s arms. It used to really bother me but as each stage has come and gone (rolling, crawling, walking) I’ve noticed how on the go and interested in the world she is, so hates being restrained. She’ll happily interact with people but as soon as they want to pick her up she’ll squirm and wingde unless being walked about so she’s seeing things. It’s tough and I sometimes can feel embarrassing when they do it but looking at how interested in things she is and how much she’s achieving from being let loose, it’s actually a good thing. We get our cuddles when she’s wanting a rest and put Shrek on but other than that it’s go go go. Just wanted to give you some reassurance that it doesn’t mean she’s unsociable, just ready to take on the world and learn

Thanks @Leadust92 it's so full on isn't it! All my friends are able to go for lovely lunches and bounce baby on their knees and there's me on the move or constantly swaying

I think of newborn is maybe the first 6 weeks. Your baby is almost 3 months so will want to be doing something other than just lying still. Totally normal.

Dd2 never really liked being held as a baby. Even now at 18months she'd rather stand beside someone and lean her head on them than sit on their knee. She jumps down instantly if you try.

I've just spent the evening with my SIL and 8wk old niece. She hates sitting still. Squirms to get away/upright, needs to be constantly walked around upright, loathes being cuddled. Mine were the same and at 14 and 10 respectively, have grown up to be pretty affectionate young people. They were just curious.

Thinking about it, I know way more babies like this than the placid cuddlers. I'm increasingly convinced that high needs is simply the normal behaviour of young humans and it's the chilled ones who are remarkable.

My first was like this. My second was like a teddy bear. Over 10 months, the first has been way easier. She was just bored of being a baby.

Hey OP! Thanks for sharing this. My baby is the same. She’s 11 months but has been like this since newborn and we have queried neurodivergence. Can I ask how your daughter is getting on now with this stuff? Thanks! X

Hi @Bexhesk not the OP but I commented a few years ago on this thread to same my baby was exactly the same. She’s now 3.5 years and the most affectionate, cuddliest, amazing and smart little girl. Absolutely not ND in any way at all. She was just very active as a baby and very curious, didn’t want to sit down ever even on someone’s knee! I now have a 12 month old DS and he’s pretty much the same, I don’t have any concerns about him at all!

Hey @Bexhesk sorry for the late reply! Am now on baby no 2 who also doesn't like to sit in laps...
my first is absolutely fine and no ND! Just a really energetic kid - who still is - but is now very affectionate but still won't be cuddled in my lap!