When does it get more rewarding?

[Bridie20]

My baby boy is 5 weeks, this week I have found TOUGH. According to the wonder weeks we’re in our first leap, he’s grizzly and grumbly all the time and just wants boob. Hard on me and on DH who feels useless. We’re introducing a bottle of expressed milk after Christmas when he’ll be 6 weeks. This just feels super tough right now. Not helped by the fact I’m isolating this week and have also been pretty poorly (no idea if it’s covid as my test result still hasn’t come back yet!)

I just wondered, when does it get more rewarding and happy? The first few weeks were amazing, we felt so much joy. This week has been a real struggle.

There will be ups and downs for much of the first year! You should start getting some smiles at around 6 weeks!

For me 4 months was an amazing age and it just gets better from there.

Try and savour it it goes by in a flash x

I have a 2.5 year old and a 10 week old. The first few months are so tough, it feels like we’re starting to turn a corner with the baby now though, he’s much less fussy in the evenings now, is starting to sleep a little better and smiles loads.

I think it’s gets easier and more rewarding as you start to see more of their personality from around 6 months onwards. Some people love the newborn phase, but I just think it’s bloody hard work, older babies and toddlers are much more fun.

In my experience waiting until 6 weeks to give a bottle of expressed milk may be risky. You're told by everyone (it seems) that you should wait so they don't get nipple confusion but in my experience they're just as likely to completely refuse the bottle at this age as they've only known breast. Pretty much everyone I know who waited (myself included) until 6-8 weeks because of the advice had a bottle refuser. Many of my friends and NCT group who combination fed / gave expressed bottles from early on had no problems at all. If you think you'd like to try now, just go for it. It's hard being stuck to baby for hours on end. I'm sure the rewards come at different points for different people. I personally found it really hard for 2 years and now my DC is almost 4, it's getting better every day.

Congratulations on your new baby and bless you, the first few months really are so tough.

In honesty I found the first six months pretty gruelling. It also went pretty slowly. The newborn phase although it is special it is fairly relentless, especially if you have an unsettled babe.

However once she turned six months it started going so fast and it all fell into place a little more. It felt like she was learning something new every week and there were loads of fun new things to focus on like weaning and crawling and skill based stuff. She also became a litttle more predictable which helped.

Hang in there OP. It feels at the moment like he will be tiny and helpless forever but before you know it he’ll be running around and chucking food everywhere xx

I think once they start smiling it feels more rewarding and from then on you start to see parts of their personality and when they start laughing is amazing

Also if I’m honest for me it’s easier to enjoy it once they’re sleeping a bit more consistently

Seems to me like every new mum hits a wall at some point when they are utterly exhausted and fed up, usually about 12 weeks. Maybe you've hit one now and in a week or so you will feel a little better. But in all honesty, it's such a difficult adjustment, it will.take you time to settle in. If you have any willing family or friends to take the baby for a walk in the pram for an hour (totally fine to do this!) then it will help you to recover a little.

Lack of sleep and illness is a killer, sympathy!

Hi everyone, thanks for your replies and for the solidarity! Our DS slept amazingly last night - 4.5 hours, then 3, then 3! He’s a proper chunk so I’m not worried about waking him for feeds anymore. But he normally wakes after 2 hours max. I feel like a new woman and so much happier today. Must start prioritising sleep more!

Xxx

They start smiling soon. My mum reckons they do it at that to as its just in time to stop you throwing them out of the window in frustration!

Honestly, you are going to get ups and downs quite a lot in us first year/18 months. 4 months is a really tough time in my experience. Illness and teething make the second half of the year tough sometimes. You adapt and learn as you go. The challenges sometimes get more co plicated, but the rewards just get more and more. My 5 year old DD is the best thing in my life. My twins are 14 months and I've got to admit that are sometimes tricky, but they are so much more fun than a newborn! They give the best cuddles, they laugh so easily and they are so funny when they play peekaboo.

You'll get there!

From a year old I suddenly started seeing the point of it all

@thingymaboob

In my experience waiting until 6 weeks to give a bottle of expressed milk may be risky. You're told by everyone (it seems) that you should wait so they don't get nipple confusion but in my experience they're just as likely to completely refuse the bottle at this age as they've only known breast. Pretty much everyone I know who waited (myself included) until 6-8 weeks because of the advice had a bottle refuser. Many of my friends and NCT group who combination fed / gave expressed bottles from early on had no problems at all. If you think you'd like to try now, just go for it. It's hard being stuck to baby for hours on end. I'm sure the rewards come at different points for different people. I personally found it really hard for 2 years and now my DC is almost 4, it's getting better every day.

I agree with this. We had to use a bottle for EBM at first due to latch issues and she always went happily between breast and bottle after that and it made life so much easier. My friends who waited to introduce a bottle had huge problems with bottle refusal. Pregnant again and will be introducing a bottle almost immediately.

I disagree with the above. Another reason not to give a bottle before 6 weeks is that it can disrupt your milk supply, but after 6 weeks your supply is well established so not an issue to introduce a bottle. I’m not saying you should or shouldn’t but thought you should know that info as I don’t think a lot of people know!

Hang on in there, it got better in 4 weeks increments for the first few months. By 12 weeks it’s fairly lovely and you feel a bit more human. I feel like it goes off milestones, when my baby sat up he was happier and then moving around and then eating.

I was however waiting patiently for my life to sort of go back to how it was pre baby but just with a baby in tow, I’m almost two years in and that’s not happened, my life is still upside down but wonderful at the same time.

It does get better more quickly than you can imagine right now x

4-12 weeks was my least favourite bit. DS was mega unsettled, didn’t sleep and breastfed hourly round the clock. I agree with others, don’t leave introducing a bottle too late.

It generally got better after about 12 weeks, but there were lots of ups and downs with unsettled behaviour for most of the first year if I’m honest. So far, 12-24 months has been far more brilliant and rewarding than months 0-12. I can’t quite work out if my DS has actually got easier and more enjoyable since becoming a toddler, or if I just prefer the challenges with this stage - probably a bit of both.

Once they can move I find it much easier. No more frustrated wailing while you’re trying to get on with things.

8 weeks was the major turning point for me, that's when he starting really smiling and cooing. That's when he was happy to lie down and chat to himself and kick his legs around instead of wanting to be held all the time. Sleep started getting better then too.

I gave a bottle of expressed 4-5 times a week since birth and it never hurt my supply but that's just my experience.

DD is 21, and cooked our Christmas dinner.

I have walked in your shoes. When she was tiny she just cluster fed all the time. The early days of parenting weren't enjoyable at all.