Christmas with toddler - really struggling

[decemberdreams]

My toddler (20 months) has got a cold and cough and is not napping or sleeping well as a result. I also have a cold and am feeling very weary and just miserable. I’m not getting much sleep as toddler’s coughing wakes me up on the baby monitor overnight. We’re staying with my in-laws over Christmas so toddler is sleeping in an unfamiliar travel-cot and room, which is probably not helping. She woke up from her lunchtime nap after just 15 minutes earlier and in my unwell state, I am feeling exhausted at the thought of a whole afternoon of entertaining her, especially as she’s very moany and irritable due to her cold. DH is here too but I can’t expect him to do 100% of the childcare.

I’m not sure what the point of this post is really - I feel really down in the dumps and needed to get it out my system. I’m mentally exhausted and beyond tired. I wish I could just spend the rest of the day in bed with a box set - ha, if only! Thanks for reading.

Why on earth can DH not have her the rest of the afternoon so you can rest??? Mine would

Yeah if you ill and DH isn't then he can absolutely take over for the afternoon!!! Mine would too! If he's ill too then the best you can do is share!

I put the baby monitor on silent when my toddler DS is coughing. He'll soon make himself heard if he needs us!

And, yes, as PPs said, get your DH to take over! Of course you can expect him to!

If you're staying with your in-laws who are presumably well, there are three other adults in the house, at least two of who haven't had disrupted sleep, and all of whom are well.

Of course your dh needs to take over.

Get yourself into bed and rest.

I'm in the same boat OP. I am ill as is toddler DD with cold from hell. We are into the second week and all our nerves are shot from dealing with a weepy irritable toddler. Not her fault but my goodness it is hard

Ds is same age.
If he doesn’t nap or naps badly ie fell asleep in car, I put him in pram cosy and take for a walk reclined, he will usually fall asleep and better for the late afternoon and evening. I would get someone to do that the next week if he is tired.

Bath also passes time.

Lack of sleep is the worst and makes everything feel like hard work. I really feel for you. I’d see if DH or in laws want to take DD out for a bit to give you a chance for a nap or at least some rest.

Also I agree with PP about muting or at least really lowering the monitor sound so that her coughs aren’t waking you.

Could DH have the monitor near him tonight or let you lie in tomorrow?

There’s no need for you to be doing all of this alone when there are others in the house who can help out.

I remember those days.

Have you raised the head end of toddler’s bed/cot? We used to put a folded up blanket under the mattress. Always helped drain mucous etc.

Vix rubbed onto the chest to help with the cough.

Switch off the baby monitor.

Take a lemsip and sleep for a couple of hours this afternoon. Toddler will be fine with the other three adults.

Lower all expectations. Just let toddler potter, loll around, do whatever they need to do. Wrap up and go out for fresh air every day, it always helps everyone feel better.

It’s rubbish. But it’ll pass.

My dh would tell me to stay in bed and he would take over care of the children. That’s how it works in an equal partnership! You shouldn’t even have to ask him to! He is also at his parents house so will have 2 other adults to help. Dose yourselves up with paracetamol and hopefully the worst will be over by Christmas

Would she nap better on you? When mine was a toddler, and still now at 5, when she's poorly the best nap is when she'll fall asleep on me covered in a blanket. Naps better that way than in her bed.
I would also get your husband to take for a couple of hours so you can nap

@UpInTheAttic

I put the baby monitor on silent when my toddler DS is coughing. He'll soon make himself heard if he needs us!

4 adults and 1 toddler should be manageable!

Split the day into 1/4s and each take responsibility for that time!

Have you done a covid test for the cough?

Oh OP I could have written this! My 13 month old has a terrible cold and cough (not covid as confirmed by a PCR) and I'm not feeling great either. It's so so draining looking after an ill, miserable toddler. My DH is working so it mostly falls to me and in any case when she's ill she just wants me. I don't really have any advice but know you're not alone!

but I can’t expect him to do 100% of the childcare

Why?

Dh and I always do 100% when the other is unwell. And he has his own parents there if he wants company with ds.

I agree re switching off the baby monitor at night. She's 20 months so if she really needs you she'll make sure you can hear her!

Constantly full of cold 22 mo here. We are having awful night's sleep too. Your husband definitely needs to have her and then can you rope in any other family to help out? Even 2 hours of an afternoon so you can crash out for a bit can help.

Lots of Cocomelon/other infuriating TV for her. Don't feel bad about it.

We have also found with out cough prone daughter that calpol plug in makes her cough worse, and baby piriton helps if her cough is mucusy.

What's shocking about turning off the sound when he's coughing all night? My DS is nearly 2.5 and is just down the corridor. Many parents don't even use a baby monitor at that age!

^sorry, that was to @britneyisfree

DH is here too but I can’t expect him to do 100% of the childcare.

Of coursexyou can
Him and his parents
Send them out fir the day tomorrow and get a rest

@UpInTheAttic I just assumed that during a time of illness most children want to be close to a parent. I can't see why you'd want the monitor on to check how he is the rest of the time but when he's ill you'd say oh if he needs me he'll make himself heard. Surely when he's ill he needs extra attention not less??

I hope you feel better soon.

I'm also full of cold, so is my 3 year old and 7 month old. Ive been up since 3 am with the baby and my husband is looking after our 3 year old. It's tough but hopefully it will be over soon 🤞 can your in laws not take the toddler out for a drive or in the push chair to give you a break and get them to nap?

@britneyisfree

Because often my kids cough whilst sleeping and don’t even wake themselves up but it would wake me up then I’d take ages to fall asleep again.

@UpInTheAttic

What's shocking about turning off the sound when he's coughing all night? My DS is nearly 2.5 and is just down the corridor. Many parents don't even use a baby monitor at that age!

I never used a baby monitor, just listened out for crying/coughing. That is even more 😮

I can't see a problem tbh.