8 year old having thoughts they are uncomfortable with

[Dayrider]

8 year old is a sensitive child, worries sometimes about usual things like death, covid, climate change.. but recently has disclosed they have thoughts they don’t love mum (me) and that they have enjoyed seeing sibling in trouble or reprimanded. These thoughts have not been disclosed at same time but in same week.
I did advise we all have these types of thoughts and they are just thoughts not always real or what we really think/feel etc etc.
Is it normal for child to have these thoughts or do you think underlying anxieties

The odd passing thought to try out the concept - totally usual
Intrusive, distressing thoughts that they aren’t in control of - not usual, can be a symptom of OCD as well as other mental health conditions,

These intrusive thoughts are generally linked to anxiety, ime. Sounds like you’re saying all the right things to dc, but worth keeping an eye on so that they don’t cause further distress. If they did continue/start to cause more problems then you need to work on strategies to address them.
But yes, normal for a sensitive child I think.

but recently has disclosed they have thoughts they don’t love mum (me) and that they have enjoyed seeing sibling in trouble or reprimanded

Have they had any events in their lives? Any indication they aren’t neurotypical?

I struggle with “love”. It’s too much of an abstract concept. How do you know what it is? How do I know if this feeling is love? If I imagine someone dying and the idea isn’t totally devastating does that mean I don’t love them?

I actually have no idea. Love to me is a mix of feelings- responsibility, protection, dependence worry…

It’s a big concept for an 8 year old.

As for enjoying seeing a sibling in trouble, well that seems normal to me. I hate getting in trouble, or getting things wrong, and after being told off was an all consuming mass of self loathing. Seeing someone else in trouble made me feel better that it wasn’t just me that got things wrong.

It may just be her personality. If she can talk openly and honestly about her feelings that’s a huge thing, i never had that and ended up shutting down as I thought my feelings were wrong.

Thank you for input so far, she doesn’t seem too distressed, enough to bother her I guess but she told me didn’t like the one that she didn’t love me because she knows she does.
Nothing significant has happened in her life, I think she’s always been sensitive and takes things very personally but she seems happy generally. I wonder if turning 8 and growing up a bit, trying to make sense of thoughts and feelings might come into play?
I know a fair bit about mental health in adults but not so much children and it’s hard to differentiate what’s normal when it’s my darling child and it’s heart wrenching to think she will suffer with anxiety disorders potentially

I have OCD and it does sound like the sort of things I might get intrusive thoughts about. Poor her ❤️

Sounds like intrusive thoughts. I’d look them up and have a talk with her.

I think it's an age thing, becoming more aware of their emotions.

To have conflicting feelings about things and feel guilty for "bad" thoughts is part of maturing.

Have you read "how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk" plus "siblings without rivalry"

It's actually really healthy they've dumped those thoughts and feelings on you.

I’m certainly not qualified on any mh issues but for me I see this as “test running” emotions. Kind of like testing how they’d feel “if”, it sounds to me as if your dd is perhaps emotionally more mature than is usual for her age and the fact she’s articulated it to you so well is a great positive. I would allow her to speak freely (as it sounds like you’re doing already) and let her talk through those emotions to safely “thrash out” the morals behind it. If you feel concerned, you know her better than anyone, have a chat with her teachers if she’s at school, I feel very lucky as the rare time I’ve sought their advice they’ve been amazing.

I distinctly remember when I was very young having these terrifying thoughts that I wanted my parents to die. I know this sounds awful but it was very much the opposite of how I really felt (I still now, at 35 have daily fears about my parents passing away). But it was almost like my brain going ‘what’s the worst thought I could have’ and then being frightened by its capabilities, even though I didn’t really feel like that. I don’t know if that makes sense? I agree about the idea of ‘test running’ emotions above and also it seems great that she’s raised her feelings with you!