Toilet troubles. Please help

[Fueledwithfairydustandgin]

I am at my wits end with DS8. He has wiped his bottom for about a year and maybe didn’t always do the best job but nothing too bad. Recently when he gets off the toilet his hands stink even after washing them. I’m sending him back sometimes 3 times to rewash. I’ve showed him how to wipe and how to wash his hands but it’s not helping. In addition he’s going to the toilet about 4 times a day. It’s making me really stressed. I’m worried we’re going to end up ill and also if he ever needs to go at school, (he says he doesn’t go there) that he’ll be teased. I can smell him from about 5 steps away. He also seems to cover the toilet seat and up the back of the toilet. Above where the water rinses. Any help would be gratefully received please.

No experience in children this age yet but wondering if maybe wet toilet wipes might help with the cleanup side of things so his hands don’t get so messy?

I'm not a doctor OP, but not sure that sounds entirely normal. Maybe a visit to a GP to check for allergies or irritable bowel syndrome or something along those lines?

It doesn’t sounds normal to be going that regularly and covering the back of the toilet etc. Presumably if it’s all over his hands it is a loose texture? I would get him to the GP to investigate.

Going 4 times a day is not normal, you need to get that checked out. Are his poos very loose?

He should be getting it on his hands either. Your hand shouldn't actually come into direct contact with the poo? Try using wet wipes, maybe show him again aml few times how to do it. Also maybe do it for him, or supervise him, just to check how he's managing to get in such a mess?

Is it possible he has IBS or intolerances? If it’s making that much mess and going that frequently his stomach can’t be happy. Does he have emergency dashes to the loo? Is he comfortable going for a poo?
Also, how’s his diet and health in general? It should not be that smelly or runny?!

Also, I know a lot of kids don’t like pooing at school but if he (for whatever reason) is withholding, he may be creating blockages

I'd be getting him checked out but I'd also be stepping in at this stage where I could and when he's at home.

I'd be supervising wiping, I'd be supervising proper hand washing and id keep antibacterial wipes/ a cloth and disinfectant spray in the bathroom to just do a quick hygienic wipe over of taps/ toilet flush/ light pull etc.

I've been here with my youngest who's now 15 and the best way to deal with it is briskly, kindly and just ensuring he doesn't have an opportunity to be dirty or smell (focussing on when he's at home here.)

Sone children just need a little longer to get there and that's fine. I can assure you I'm not doing all this for my 15 year old now 😀

But get him checked out too

wet wipes play havoc with the sewage system.

That doesn’t sound normal at all. It shouldn’t be getting all over the toilet & his hands. Get him checked out.

Thanks so much everyone. I’ve rung the GP to get him checked. Fingers crossed