Toddler is sooo exhausting

[user463876887]

I know this is nothing new and I've seen plenty of thread along this theme on here, but DS3 is just sooo terribly exhausting. He goes to nursery from 9-3pm and then bedtime is 7pm but in those 4 hours between coming back from nursery and bedtime he manages to take it all out of me. He follows me around constantly, will not let me go, throwing a tantrum if he doesn't get what he wants (mostly asking for sweets).
I've locked myself in the room upstairs as I'm in a meeting and need some space and he's downstairs with DS10.

How do people cope? Is DS worse than most or does this just come with the territory of the toddler years?We hardly ever go out for meals because it's just not pleasant. He wants constant attention and wants what he wants when he wants it!

He's tired and wants to reconnect with you.

Is there no option for wraparound care? Not fair on Either DS, nor really counting as actually having a toddler cared for.

My DS was similar to this - but he didn’t go to nursery! If you find it hard, which is completely understandable, then count yourself lucky that you have some time away (working?) from 9-3. How do you survive weekends?

Sounds like totally normal toddler behaviour (in my limited experience). I wouldn't dream of going out for meal with my toddler, nor would I expect it - she's just too little and it wouldn't be enjoyable. It won't be forever though, and I'm sure we'll have plenty of lovely family meals out when she's older.

After nursery she is often tired and emotional - totally understandable (doesn't nap). It might be easier just to give into it and give up any notion of being 'productive' in those hours. It sounds like you're still working from 3pm - I would personally find this impossible.

Do you think maybe you're finding it particularly difficult because you're trying to work and look after him at the same time?

I find even ten minutes dedicated time playing with mine and doing nothing else does the world of good. I become less interesting after that.

My DS is like this after nursery, he's knackered.
We sit on the sofa have half hour chill watching something on the tele so he can pull himself together.

Anyone around to help for an hour or two after nursery?

I work also after picking him up, take my dinner hour when he's finished so I have some time with him then by the time it's over DP is home to take over.

I was also going to suggest at least 10 minutes of complete focused time with toddler, doing whatever he wants to do (literally don’t do anything else but give your toddler your full attention for that 10 minutes). Ideally it would be 30 mins. I find if I do this I then get left alone for a bit. They need to reconnect with you properly after being at nursery all day and multi tasking actually makes them more clingy and just drags it all out.

Are you working and looking after him at the same time? If that’s the case I’d get him into a nursery with longer opening hours or that has wraparound care. I don’t think the current situation is fair on either child.

Thanks for all the advice. I'm usually trying to work and look after him at the same time, though even when that's not the case (like on weekends) it's a challenge. His grandparents have just moved nearby so they've been having him a few hours after nursery a few days a week. That has helped. But as you all suggested, I think he needs the quality one-on-one time to reconnect after nursery. I'll try to give him 30 mins of more or less undivided attention and see how that goes.

I think as well as the need to reconnect, he just gets really bored at home. We haven't done any after-nursery activities with him as we did with older DS, no swimming/football etc. Will have to look into that in the new year. Older DS is going through 11+/secondary school exams right now so I've had to focus pretty much all my mental/emotional energy on him. By the end of the day I'm so touched out and have such sensory overload, just feels like it's surviving from one day to next. I should say that DH is very hands on, even then it's tough. I think it just goes with the toddler territory.

Sounds pretty typical! Of course he wants your attention when he gets home. If he goes to bed at 7pm, can your work be done after he's in bed? He needs 1:1 time to connect with you. Tbh, even giving him 30mins of attention sounds pretty minimal to me.

I find that a good walk helps in our house. If we go out and get some fresh air , my little one is much more likely to happily play independently, or even sit and chill with tv if I need to get stuff done.

Can you and DH switch so you get every other day free as such?

That’s typical and you’re not alone. My toddler is wild and he does not stop for a minute :) he goes to creche 9-5pm and bedtime is 7.30 and in these 2 hours he takes everything of me and husband:) he loves creche though and is never tired after it. Weekends are all about surviving at the moment. He is the sweetest boy in the world but I wouldn’t even dream of going to a restaurant with him at the moment - wouldn’t be enjoyable for anyone. It will pass, I know it’s hard but you aren’t alone if it helps/