My baby fell and I didn’t tell anyone

[Worriedguiltymum]

My little one is 8 months old and thriving, a super happy and lovely boy. He’s meeting all his milestones and everyone comments on how happy and content he is.

His Dad left when he was 6 weeks old. About 2 weeks later I fed him in the night and fell asleep in bed with him. The next to me was by the side of the bed but I woke up to him crying and he had fallen out of the bed. I was hysterical but he stopped crying the minute I picked him up and was calm. I googled what to do and it said to watch for signs of concussion and take to hospital if any concerns. He was completely fine and has been since. We saw the doctor for his 6 week check the day after and I should have mentioned it, but I was terrified that social services would be called or they would think I was unfit and give him to his Dad. I think I was suffering badly with PPA and was so ashamed that I’d fallen asleep with him in the bed because I know it’s not safe.

The bump bruised and then calmed down. I thought it had gone but then I started noticing a slight shadow/bump when I took photos of him. It’s not a noticeable bump at all - nobody has ever commented on it in person or in photos so I don’t know if it’s just because I’m looking for it if that makes sense.

There is still a slight bump now. I’m terrified that his skull is fractured and he’s going to be permanently damaged. He seems totally fine as I said. I was wondering if I should take him to the doctor to be checked but I’m worried that it will now look like I have something to hide. I feel so stupid and I can’t believe I didn’t say anything at the time but I didn’t think I needed to unless he had signs of concussion. It makes me so sad to think that I’ve failed him and he could be injured or even in pain because of what I’ve done. What should I do?

What did doctor say about the bruise and bump? Or was it at back of his head and not obvious? You need to make a doctor apt and get someone to check him out for your peace of mind and his safety. Or it will play on your mind forever. Yes it was a silly thing but plenty sleep deprived parents have done similar things off bed sofas or changing mats. They may or not want to do extra checks but whatever they decide it’s best go with it. If you ignore it you will be worrying for years to come.

This happened when he was 8 weeks old and now he’s 8 months old?
If I’ve read that right?
If so he’s fine! X

One of my DDs rolled of our bed when very small - she landed with a sickening thump and was winded and stopped breathing for what seemed a inordinately long time. She then took a massive breath in and howled for England - and was none the worse for it all. These things happen - do not beat yourself up. But, get him checked out. Doctors are used to seeing little ones who have got bumped and bruised in these sort of mishaps.

I once dislocated my DD's elbow swinging her round by her arms. I felt a bit bad about that, but the GP did not bat an eyelid, just slipped it back into place.

Honestly he’ll be grand, but get him checked for your peace of mind. Just say you’ve noticed the bump for a bit and you’d like him checked. If they ask if you have any idea what it could be, you can say he rolled off the bed once, but was fine and you thought nothing of it (which is true -,there were no signs to be concerned about).

It’s right in the centre of his forehead but it was just a bump and hadn’t bruised - the doctor said nothing about it, and we saw the health visitor for a weigh in the same day and she didn’t mention anything either, it isn’t a huge bump or noticeable and wasn’t at the time either. I feel so silly for not mentioning it to them then but I was so nervous they’d think I was useless and had endangered him. Yes this was nearly 6 months ago! That’s why I’m worried that I can still see a tiny bump, I’m scared that it fractured his skull or something and hasn’t healed correctly because he wasn’t seen :(

IANAD but in the massively unlikely scenario that your son had an old, healed skull fracture and is now healthy and developing normally I doubt there's a doctor in the world who would do anything. It's not like a leg bone that could be broken and reset.

He is fine! If you want to get him checked out then do, and just tell the truth - you haven't done anything wrong! All babies fall off the bed at some point.

Oh OP, it’s so awful for parents when it happens, never mind the babies! Mine rolled off the bed twice when she was tiny onto our wooden floor. Once with me, once with her dad. I took her to the urgent care centre the first time to be told by the doctor that we were the 4th bed roll he’d seen so far that day so it does happen a lot. I agree with PP’s that if it happened a few months ago and he’s doing well, he’s more than likely absolutely fine but if you’re worried, there’s no harm in checking by with your HV or GP.

I would imagine that what you’re seeing isn’t a bump at all and is actually just the shape and shade of his head! As a teacher we’re clued into looking for unusual bumps etc and i often find myself having a closer look at what I think could be a bruise/bump and realising it’s just the shape of their noggin!

If you are really concerned I’d do what someone suggested above, say you noticed it recently and that they fell off the bed when they were very small but were fine when monitored so you thought nothing of it until now.

Honestly though, it he had a skull fracture you would absolutely have known about it at the time not months and months later!

Be honest. He is thriving, so obviously not neglected or abused. Ask your doctor to check him, so you can stop worrying.