DD refusing to do anything

[Ricepops]

Currently sitting in the bathroom while DD (4) rolls around on the floor. I'm waiting to brush her teeth but she is refusing. This is how everything seems to be at the moment, she pretty much refuses everythin- getting out of bed, getting dressed, brushing teeth, going out, getting ready for bed.

Any tips? I thought I would see how long it would take her to crack, but been 15 min so far. She also has gymnastics in a couple of hours, and I'm dreading trying to get her to that. She loves it, bit I know she will refuse to go based on how she has been generally this week.

Remove all the things she wants from around her, turn tv off, have door to bathroom open with toothbrush on the sink/stool/cup on the floor whoever she can see it. Tell her it’s time to brush teeth then sit with cuppa and wait it out. Only speak to her to say Time to brush teeth. Battle of wills

My 3 year old is similar. She knows if I say she has to do something I mean it and will generally comply or spend a few minutes messing about and then comply. My partner made the mistake of having variable boundaries and making a joke out of not doing things. He can’t get her to do anything. He generally ends up with a naked, hyped up child. Today he tried to get her to go out with him, which resulted in a semi naked child making him do ‘races’ whilst she covered herself in pen.

I have sympathy and my only advice is don’t give in!

Does reverse psychology work on her or "racing".

I bet you can't do X by the time I have done Y.

Or " i wonder if you can do 50 brushes in 30 seconds? Shall I start the timer now, or when you start scrubbing?"

Do the "even though you know" approach. Like "DD time to brush teeth"
And if she says no you say something like " you don't want to brush your teeth, even though you know you have to do it every day?" And things like "you'd like it we never had to brush out teeth, even though you know your teeth will fall out if you don't"

Can you get up a tooth brushing song on YouTube? That’s what I resort to with mine, pick your battles!

I found offering 2 choices worked well most of the time, nothing worked all the time but this was better. The choices always end up in the same place but she felt she had some power.

So:

It's time to brush teeth, do you want a toothbrush toner video on YouTube or the stopwatch on my phone?

It's time to get dressed, do you want this dress or these dungarees?

We're going to tidy your room now, do you want to make your bed or put away the Lego?

Take away anything interesting and leave her there until she does it. No interaction except reiterating instructions. Literally the only way I can get my threenager to do anything. It’s honestly a battle of wills, so use a time when you don’t have to be anywhere immediately to stick to your word.

Thanks all. It's been a very challenging day, and week. Today we had the luxury of it being Saturday, but weekdays this week have been hard getting her out of the door on time for nursery. Interestingly, she was always very placid and compliant until a few weeks ago! Anyway, she did eventually give in after about 20 min.

She then resisted going to gymnastics, it took about 20min to get her out of the house, partly through bribery. She then said she wouldn't join in, but did pretty quickly. She clearly had a good time as she was telling me about everything they had done (I was watching, but she clearly wanted to tell me anyway), but then said she doesn't want to do back again. Sadly I think I'll have to cancel this activity after Christmas even though I know she likes it. It's like she wants to sabotage herself at the moment!

Thanks for the tips. I do the offering of two choices tactic all the time, but it is not working at the moment. And often these tactics have already been exhausted on getting her to go the toilet, get dressed etc. I will try the competitive angle though, I think that might have some legs. The other thing I remembered that I did with my son was to print out a laminated checklist with pictures associated with all the activities he needed to do in the morning (eat breakfast, brush teeth etc). I did have some success with that so think I will try it if only for getting out of the door on time on weekdays.