I'm a rubbish parent when looking after both DCs

[prettygirlincrimsonrose]

I have 2 DCs, DS is 4, DD is 9 months. When I'm just with one of them its generally fine. When I'm on my own with both of them I keep messing up. For example when I'm trying to sort out 3 lots of food I end up with upset DD, and snapping at DS for pushing her/snatching a toy etc. I get frustrated with DS repeatedly asking me to do something with him while I'm obviously doing a job or deliberately stopping me doing something with DD. I get he wants time with me, but I do play with him, read with him etc and I feel guilty DD gets less interaction because it seems easier to let her crawl around (although I also feel bad me and DS don't really do anything that interesting because I'm also trying to sort food, do the basic stuff for DD etc). I try to explain, be positive etc when we can't do things but there's various things he does that keep annoying me and I end up talking to him in a way I don't like and just not being patient enough.

Anyone feel like they're making it work with a similar situation and if so how?!

I feel the same
I have dd1 who is almost 6 and then a 6 month old as well and my goodness the baby is so demanding and whingey at the moment .. it's hard

You are not messing up you are doing brilliant! You have a baby and a preschooler. Both have different needs and will make different demands on you.

I have a just turned 2 year old and just turned 4 year old and boy it's hard work. Is there anyway you can get some one on one time with your oldest? Sometimes that helps I think. I'll be honest, the days I have both to sort out by myself are a struggle. I'm at the stage where to avoid squabbles my parents will look after one for me for an hour each afternoon and it ensures they both get one on one time with their grandparents and me.

Your DD will be happy to watch whilst you entertain your oldest, that's what I have found quite a bit. Let her crawl around and cruise whilst you read to your DS or something and have toys out for her on the floor etc.

4 years is also hard because they want to do so much by themselves and be independent but you might be constructed by time or the baby etc.

I have no magic solutions unfortunately but just remember you are doing great, never doubt your own abilities and try to involve other people when you can to support you.

I could’ve written this- I have a 3.5 year old DS and a 7 month old DD. I feel like I should be able to look after them both easily but I do find it hard. Neither of them are particularly naughty or difficult but as you say it’s just really hard balancing both their very different needs and giving them both the attention they deserve. Afraid I don’t have any solutions but just wanted to say you’re not alone.

I’m the same.
2 year old DS and 6 year old DD…. separately i’m fine with either, but on my own with both is a bloody nightmare!
They won’t play together nicely and the older one winds the younger one up. They constantly get jealous of each other and want my attention. I just spend the whole time trying to maintain peace!

...... welcome to parenthood.

Totally normal (sorry)

You are doing brilliantly. This is a difficult time. Mine are both teenagers now and I remember the toddler + baby stage as being the hardest.

Same. I get so stressed as I can’t do anything with one DC, the other one will want me. What worries me is the realisation that it’s going to get worse once my 7 month old starts crawling about. I feel awful to not be looking forward to my baby crawling but dreading it. I feel so down about the fact if it’s hard now it’s going to get even harder.