Breast milk from bottles?

[newnest]

Hello, I'm torn between trying to breastfeed or to express my milk in to bottles so baby is still getting the breast milk but from a bottle so my DH can feed baby in the night too?

Please can I have pros and cons of doing this? Thank you!!!

There are no pros. Expressing is the most difficult way to feed a baby. Focus on breastfeeding, it becomes so much easier at 3 months because you don’t have to worry about washing or sterilizing bottles & finding / carrying boiling water when you’re out and on holiday. Your DH can bond with DC like mine did - through nappy changes and bathtime and if he isn’t prepared for that then tell him to fuck off.

The problem with expressing is that if you want to keep it up then you need to express every 1-2 hours with or without the baby. It means that should you have the rare unicorn newborn that sleeps for long stretches you won’t get to enjoy it.

I really wouldn’t recommend it unless medically advised… it’s basically twice the work as you have to express each time the baby is fed anyway, to keep your supply going, so it’s not as if you’d get more rest that way. Then there’s the faff of cleaning bottles etc, and expressing outside your own home is a lot harder than breastfeeding directly. I had to exclusively express for about a week and even that was awful. Sorry to be a downer!

Expressing is a massive faff. And even if your DH does night feeds you'll most likely still find yourself waking up. I'd probably stick with bf if you and baby are able to.

I agree. I started expressing at about two months in order to build up a supply that I could freeze for when I went back to work. I wouldn't have done it otherwise.

Much easier to breastfeed - especially in the early days and weeks.

Night times are much easier. I used to hear the baby starting to get restless, leaned over and picked her up, brought her into bed with me and fed her lying down, then put her back in her cot. No getting up involved and much less disruptive for all concerned.

It's a faff. To keep up your supply you'll need to be expressing at least some of the time when your DH is feeding (also you'll feel very uncomfortably full).

Once your supply is established and settled, say after 6 weeks or so, then if you find expressing straightforward - not everyone does - it can be pretty simple to collect smaller amounts to make up bottles to give you a break but exclusively expressing is for the dedicated and brave imo (hats off to those who have done it).

The best way for dad to bond and help is to have a daytime cuddle with baby while you nap.

They can take on all the household chores as well while you recover. Keeping you fed and watered is a big help too.

Don't make life harder for yourself by expressing unless you have to.

@newnest I actually ended up doing all 3 with my DS. He was exclusively BF for 3 months then had awful reflux which caused breast refusal - no help available in my area due to lockdown so I started exclusively expressing and giving bottles of breast milk. I done that for a month, DS wouldn’t go back on the boob at all and I couldn’t hack expressing any longer so I moved to formula feeding.

Had there been more help available then I’d have done everything I could to try and continue breastfeeding. For me, expressing was a nightmare - by far the worst option. I was up constantly in the night having to express then sterilise everything. Then just as I got back to bed DS would wake up needing fed. I also hated bottle feeding as I felt like I was constantly washing and sterilising bottles etc.

Everyone is so different though - I have friends that had no interest in BFing and FF from Day 1 and loved it 🤷🏻‍♀️ And a friend who expressed every feed for 3 months as she hated the feeling of BFing - then she moved to FF at 3 months.

There’s loads of ways your DH can bond with baby without feeding. When mine was BF at the start, I would feed then DH would wind him. Nappy changes and bath time were also shared so my DH never felt like he wasn’t bonding with our DS. My advice would be that if any part of you wants to try BFing then go for that first (I think they advise around 6 weeks before you start expressing anyway). If it doesn’t work out then try expressing or whatever 😊

The few "pros" are that your partner or someone else can do that actual feeding of the baby but the obvious issue with that is that you have to do the expressing first! When you could just directly feed the baby. Then there is that you are probably less likely to get sore/cracked nipples.

I had to start from day 1 with expressing for both my babies as they were in SCBU and not able to directly breastfeed initially. It was hard hard work, and not anything I would have willingly chosen to do. I was very pissed off that I was in the position to have to do it again when DS2 was born. Trying to express colostrum is a right pain, trying to express enough to keep up with feeding in the early days is endless work. Plus I was so busy expressing it seemed like I hardly held the baby! I was expressing every 1.5 to 2 hours throughout the day and night initially. If your DH does a feed at night, you will need to express over that time period too, otherwise you will feel uncomfortably full and risk getting blockages or mastitis and reducing your supply, plus you need to keep ahead of the demand for milk.

If you want to breastfeed, part of that is having to do all the feeds. That's just a part of the process, and it's worth thinking about that in advance and being prepared for it. Your DH can do lots of other things to give you time to catch up on sleep.

Breastfeed and just express for those times where you want to go out without your baby for a bit. Put your husband in charge of baby baths instead. Nice way to bond, and actually saves you work rather than creating more.

I expressed completely for four months.
Pros
Partner can feed
You can see how much they are getting
Meds can be added to bottle if needed (e.g. colief / gaviscon)
No bridge to cross when stopping (i.e you know they will take a bottle)
Cons
It's a full time job (literally eight hours a day on pumping, sterilising and feeding)
I can still hear the whooshing of the breast pump - it's been 10 years

My DD couldn't latch so I expressed as much as I could and topped up with formula.
I was able to keep this up for 3 months until it became too difficult to get enough time to pump as often as I needed to and the amount she was drinking per feed increased to the extent that I was not getting a full bottles worth in a day.

My supply was never brilliant, but if you are able to get a good supply going then you may be able to build up a good freezer stash in the early days to help later on.

All the sterilising of bottles and pumps never bothered me, I always had to do it from the start so never knew any different.

Ahh thank you for your insights! I was considering expressing because I am so scared of clogged ducts and thought getting more out would mean there is no chance for any clogging but the thought of waking up and disturbing everyone a few times in the night just to express doesn't sound very appealing and probably easier to pop my boob out lol

Thank you so much, I'm a FTM and there is no support online or with my community midwife. They put so much pressure on to exclusively breastfeed it scares me...

I breastfed but DH gave the baby one bottle of formula per night so I could get a bit of undisturbed sleep.

I preferred this to expressing, and baby was still getting breast milk 90% of the time.

The cons are baby possibly starting to prefer a bottle and not wanting to breastfeed. And if you’re expressing you’re giving yourself extra work, so I would personally give formula in a bottle or not give a bottle at all.

Expressing then feeding is very time consuming, and quite difficult to get your supply established. If your only reason is so the dad can feed, why not do both. You could start just breastfeeding until your milk comes in properly, then express one bottle a day if you want DH to do a night feed.

Not quite the same, but I went back to work 1 day a week from quite early on and DS had expressed milk on those days and breastfeed the rest, and was fine switching between the two. We introduced the bottle around 4 weeks, which seemed to work, though we may have just been lucky.

I'm currently expressing for my 6 week old. We tried EBF but only lasted 3 weeks due to my DS
having a terrible tongue tie. He is now being fed with expressed milk in a bottle and formula.

I personally have found this to be extremely beneficial for me - no more upsetting times at the breast for both of us, my DH can help with feeds plus DS is still getting the goodness of the breast.

I am pumping 4+ a day and producing 2 x 5oz bottles from these sessions. It's hard to fit in sessions when you have plans in the day but I manage to squeeze extra time in in the evenings.

I want to try BF again when his tongue tie is fully healed but for now this works for us.

Definitely worth considering!

The best way to avoid clogged ducks is for baby to feed from both breasts. Babies are the best at removing milk, way better than any pump.

The NCT have a feeding helpline and many of their baby cafes offer zoom support.

There's also websites like KellyMom which have loads of good advice.

Have a search for local support services from the NCT or la leche league.

Don't let the pressure scare you OP - it's entirely your choice

I mostly bf, with some expressing when I went back to work
Feeding directly is so much easier and your baby is much more efficient at feeding than any pump (Just in case you do some pumping and panic there is not much coming out at first - what the pump gets out is nowhere near what your baby does!)

I bf as it was free and I was lazy - not a chance of doing all the bottle faff whilst they are crying & waiting if I didn't have to! Moses basket by the bed, put baby on when needed, put back easily

DH bonded during baths, stories, cuddles, putting to bed - no issues there

@newnest

Ahh thank you for your insights! I was considering expressing because I am so scared of clogged ducts and thought getting more out would mean there is no chance for any clogging but the thought of waking up and disturbing everyone a few times in the night just to express doesn't sound very appealing and probably easier to pop my boob out lol

Thank you so much, I'm a FTM and there is no support online or with my community midwife. They put so much pressure on to exclusively breastfeed it scares me...

You are more likely to get clogged ducts through expressing. Lol the treatment for them is to breastfeed more - and provided you don’t have a tongue tied baby like I did breastfeeding truly on demand (ie putting baby to the boob first at every little whimper or letting them have free reign) will protect you from them. I used to spend entire days in bed breastfeeding skin to skin - but DH supported me so much to do this and so I had literally nothing else to worry about.

I’m going to go against the grain and say that I did both! And found it fine
Yes expressing can be a faff - especially if you are short on time and you need to sit down and sterilise everything then express out a bottle etc! But I found the benefits of being able to pass baby to others for a feed FAR outweighed the “faff”.
There were times when I was completely shattered, baby up all night, sore nipples etc. Thank God I was able to give my LO to my husband with an expressed bottle so I could get some rest. For me, the pressure of being the only one able to feed the baby was not something I enjoyed. Those early days are hard!

And FYI once I had built up my supply, I just expressed once a day, usually whilst DH was giving my LO the bottle. I used to over express a little bit too - ie if baby was drinking 100ml, I’d express 130ml, so I gradually also built up an extra stash for when I needed it.

I expressed for 6 months and then switched to formula. I was unable to BF. Even though all support I had said that my son’s latch was perfect, he simply wouldn’t BF. He was just pulling off and screaming, as well as chewing up my boob. It was awful for both of us. I was determined to give him at least 6 months of breast milk, so I switched to pumping.

Pros:

• you know exactly how much they’ve eaten.
• other people can feed.
• I found pumping very easy and painless compared to my horrible BF experience
• you can store extra for later

Cons:

• health visitors don’t like you doing it
• it’s full-on, you have to be pumping about every 2 hours
• it’s a constant battle to keep your supply up
• you may have to supplement with formula
• pumps can break suddenly

Expressing is fucking hard work, I tried for dts who couldn't latch. I wouldn't recommend it.

Expressing is a pain in the arse. I did it with DC1 to build up enough supply so I could go to a hen do in the day when he was about 5 months. Massive battle about getting him to take a bottle, I could only get anything with the pump first thing in the morning so had to remember to only feed from one side overnight then pump the other side.

With DC2 I gave my pump away when I was still pregnant and never regretted it. Had no impetus to go through all the faff again.

Just to add too; if exclusively pumping, you will spend so much time pumping (in order to mimic a baby feeding and thus keep up your supply), that you will find yourself doing that most of the time instead of cuddling, feeding and nurturing your newborn, which may not be good for your mental health. We are programmed to need and want to be close to our babies at that age, just as much as they are programmed to need to be close to us. Pumping causes you to be separate from your baby for large chunks of the day. Not ideal! Once your supply is established, you may want to pump a bit so that your OH can do the odd feed, at night etc, and that's very manageable, but exclusive pumping is a difficult commitment in many ways.