Having a 2nd child

[Michlj]

Our 1st born is 11 weeks and has become easier to manage in certain ways. It is making me think of trying again. He is less fussy more alert can play etc. I said no way at the beginning as I was overwhelmed. Is having a 2nd easier in some ways, ie you know what is coming? x

In some ways it is easier because you skip the initial learning curve and you have a working idea of what to expect.

I don't want to burst your bubble but it sounds like you have a fairly easy going baby if you are considering another at this point. You can't guarantee that would be the same again but, even if you do win that draw, you still have the competing needs of a toddler and a new baby to contend with. In many respects, two is a lot harder.

No I think it’s much much harder because you’re split in two between an active toddler and needy newborn.

How long is a piece of string !

It depends on so much; how close together you have them, how much support you have; the babies temperament, what the eldest is like

My second have a 5 yr gap and was a dream child. But my eldest was also a calm and laid back child. But in terms of what they were like they were very different into terms of sleeping, eating etc

11 weeks is still very early. Apart from the fact doctors recommend waiting at least another 9 months before trying again (your body needs to reaccumulate minerals which are depleted in pregnancy), wait until you've been through a few sleep regressions (usually 4, 8 and 12 months) then reconsider.
my baby was very easy going until about 6 months then stopped wanting to sleep and its been an exhausting battle since.

Ah, now we did that.
Came out of newborn phase with DS1 and was like ‘god that was shit, now it’s not so shit, let’s have another before we have got time to think about it too much otherwise we will never have another’

So DS2 arrived when DS1 was 15m old yay, how luck are we! Then DS2 cried.. and cried.. and cried. In agony, nobody would help, just screaming baby whenever he was awake. Absolutely nothing helped, we tried everything. It was hell on Earth, until last week😂again at 12 weeks it’s now all sunshine and roses but I’d rather get my uterus ripped out than have another.

You just never know what the baby will be like.
I hate newborn phase, it’s just utterly exhausting mentally and physically.

Well done for getting through it.

Thank you all for your honest replys!!!! You have defo given me something to think about. I think you are right....I shall wait a certain amount of time before reviewing.....Only thing is I am 37, 38 in March and I am running out of time x x

Well, that's a different question. Just because something is hard doesn't mean it isn't worth doing. If you have enough give, support and resources to lay your hands on then you can know it's going to be hard and do it anyway.

My eldest two are just under two years apart. It starts off hard but it gets easier when they entertain one another.